DS1 is nearly 7 and has Aspergers. He is a clever little thing and is having some of his lessons with Y6 (science, IT etc) and extension activities and all that jazz. He can be difficult to manage in class especially during carpet times etc because he will forget himself and shout out answers or get over excited.
He is very eager to please, wants to be accepted, and will work hard to overcome his difficulties to please a teacher/parent - he isn't rude or nasty, and he isn't deliberately disruptive.
The teacher who had him last year is the head of KS1 - she handled ds1 brilliantly, kept me informed and we consulted each other regularly, shared strategies etc. He blossomed and thrived in her class, she felt very strongly that he did not need singling out with things like visual timetables/red and yellow cards for behaviour etc. She and her TA managed him really skilfully and as a result of this (IMO) he has grown into a happy confident little boy who has good friendships with his peers and is accepted.
His new class (Y2) is a job-share between 2 teachers, neither of whom are approachable and one of whom seems to actively avoid speaking to me. I asked a week into term whether we could meet to discuss his IEP and have a chat about his AS and how things were going to work - she said there was no point until she had had a chance to write a new IEP "unless you want to see the old one" I don't need to "see" it - I have a copy - I wanted to meet the bloody woman and have a brief chat about my son's SN
ds1 came home upset yesterday saying that this teacher has put him on a red/yellow card system (like football) - just him, nobody else in the class (there are far more disruptive pupils in that class than ds1)
also that she had not told him what would happen if he got a red card! I feel upset that he is being singled out and made to look and feel different in this way - he managed to go through the whole of Y1 without having an "I've got two heaqds" placard hung around his neck - he has only been in there for a couple of weeks and already this is happening
I am tbh terrified that his integration with his peers and his sense of belonging/being accepted is going to be damaged and that this could be the thin end of the wedge - I know that sounds irrational but I am panicking and feeling really angry about the lack of communication and the arbitrariness of this - they hardly know him yet, I think it's a lazy approach
my ds2 is in Y1 now and has the (amazing) teacher ds1 had last year. She is also head of KS1, so I asked her this morning whether it would be OK to ask her advice about ds1. She adored ds1 and was more than happy for me to ask her advice. I told her about the card system and the fact that neither of the job-sharing Y2 teachers seemed to be willing to have a conversation with me, and said thereasons why I was not happy about him being singled out with special cards etc - I think it is disabling and unnecessary. I knew she agreed with this because we discussed it last year after the ed psych had advised her to use them! She said she will do a bit of discreet investigating and see what she could do.
AIBU to be in a right old lather about this?