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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban telly in the mornings?

102 replies

BalloonSlayer · 23/09/2009 07:53

Have finally had it after 5 years of reminding, cajoling, nagging, shouting, and sometimes screaming like a banshee to get DCs ready for school.

Since the beginning of term we have had telly off at 8am, still has not worked.

This week I have flipped and said it's not going on at all.

DD ok about it. DS2 to small to care. DS1 is a study of martyred injury and Kevin-like injustice. Needless to say it is DS1 who is the one who makes us all late for school.

DH thinks I am being OTT at banning TV entirely. He thinks its unfair as DS1 often gets up very early. I think one of the reason DS1 does get up so early is because he wants to watch the telly - then he is tired and I get attitude all day.

Opinions please.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 24/09/2009 17:02

Blondes the concept of being ready any time before target leaving time is alien in our household and I doubt that even the bribe of TV would change that - my DC are not natural early risers and always have to be woken up on school days (and will sleep in past 9am on weekends given half a chance)

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/09/2009 17:23

same here - get woken up 7.30 and then have hour till we leave 8.30 for school

sometimes 6yr is awake 7ish, but always have to wake, 4yr and bubba (15mths)

on holidays both will sleep 8.30/9am if allowed

i think an hour is long enough to get up,dressed and breakie etc

Scillybee · 24/09/2009 20:02

DH gets the kids ready in the mornings & I go early to work (b&b so downstairs to cook). DH is very laid-back & doesn't mind the TV being on, but when I'm there it drives me crazy! Also I don't think it helps slightly problematic DS behaviour (just started in reception). I'll be home soon on a daily basis - do I implement new rules when I'm around or stay out of it?! It's not that straightforward as I get up, make coffee, get the kids' stuff ready etc before I go (while DH lies in!) so I am semi-in-charge, but the telly is a real issue for us. I'm inclined to use the TV for weekend mornings only, or say they can watch Charlie& Lola or something once they're ready to go... most things DH & I see eye-to-eye on, but not this!

FictionFanatic · 24/09/2009 21:04

I do the same as WelliesandPyjamas. Blanket ban on TV in the morning on weekdays in our house. Mostly because I just don't like it; I'd rather give the kids the opportunity to talk to me or read or play if they get up early, rather than just another chance to sit slack-jawed in front of the screen. But also because, as WandP said, I'd never get my just-turned-7 DS away from it, there'd be a tantrum when it was turned off and he'd never get his clothes on at the same time as watching TV; it's enough of a struggle as it is. There are times as I'm besieged by questions in the shower or struggling to break up a fight and make the bed at the same time that I think life would be easier if I let them watch TV but I know it's not really true. And it means we can all look forward to the weekends when they ARE allowed to watch telly if they want to from whenever they get up until some sort of reasonable hour (an hour or 2 later) when DH and I are able to surface.

lilmissmummy · 24/09/2009 21:34

My children are both morning people... DS (8) is usually up at 6.30 and DD (4) gets up at 7am. My alarm goes off at 7.15 and I am not a morning person. So I drag myself out of bed and do their breakfast, get their uniforms together and make the tea.

The dc have the tv on in the playroom from when they get up. They eat their breakfast and are always dressed and ready to go by 8am. We dont have to leave til 8.30.

I dont know how they do it but I am not ready for the incessant chatter and complaining until I have had a cup of tea and a shower so the tv entertains them until I am ready to take them to school.

We have our chats and conversations in the car on the way to school when I am a bit nicer

MissMoopy · 24/09/2009 21:36

You are not being unreasonable. I let my dd have telly on in mornings as it means she will happily eat her breakfast while I shower, make packed lunch etc. But she happily switches it off to go to school. If that changed I would ban it too!

MissMoopy · 24/09/2009 21:37

You are not being unreasonable. I let my dd have telly on in mornings as it means she will happily eat her breakfast while I shower, make packed lunch etc. But she happily switches it off to go to school. If that changed I would ban it too!

stealthsquiggle · 24/09/2009 21:45

lilmissmummy if you have any insights as to how you get children that don't turn into zombies the second the TV is on, I am all ears (but I guess that would entail you being awake enough to observe this magical process )

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 24/09/2009 22:05

well DD (3) is up at 5ish so telly in the morning for an hour or so whilst I get my head together is essential for me.

But she knows that when I say its time to get dressed, have breakfast, etc, etc the TV goes off and we get on with our day.

YANBU - whatever works in your house.

daffodill6 · 24/09/2009 22:06

No TV in the morning is a rule I have stuck to since day 1. DD does find other reasons for procrastinating however!

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 24/09/2009 22:06

stealth, DD doesn't actually turn into a zombie. She becomes an actress and acts out whatever she is watching as she is watching it. honestly, she is SUCH a drama queen

NotanOtter · 24/09/2009 22:24

you are right
loads of evidence over tired kids in school due to tv

Seriya · 24/09/2009 23:03

Never ever had telly on in the mornings here but I fear that'll have to change next week. Work has decided to move a regular meeting from 9.15 am in the office to 7am via phone/skype, to accomodate one person in Australia.

I have no idea how spending an hour working from home in front of the PC will work with a kid that's not even 3. My best guess right now is get her up early, have her fed and dressed before 7, and then deposit her in front of the telly for 45 mins while I do my meeting.

Can't say I'm thrilled.

ShinyAndNew · 24/09/2009 23:12

If I let dd1 watch tv before school this morning she would be sat half nekkid on the sofa now, with her mouth gaping open and her eyes glazed.

No TV in the mornings, there isn't even any breakfast, nay mind tv untill she is dressed.

No tv at dinner either, we don't even have a tv in the dining room.

YANBU. Very sensible descision.

opinionatedmother · 24/09/2009 23:24

YANBU - we now try no tv before 5. tricky at first, but the littlies adusted

it just stops anything from happening.

megapixels · 24/09/2009 23:40

YANBU. Never had the TV on in the mornings, not even on weekends (not that I implemented that one, no one thinks to switch it on at that time because it doesn't usually happen).

I hate having the TV on as background noise anyway, it can only be on if someone is sitting in front of it watching something specific and I don't think people do that in the morning while getting ready for school.

We have breakfast together, talking (not dh though as he's the last to come downstairs) before the kids go to school.

jaxxyj · 24/09/2009 23:50

LOL re shiny's dd1 description! One day I caught my ds gawping standing on one leg with his boxers tangled round his ankle. I have a dp brought up with tv on constantly and sees nothing wrong with it, however I am often the last up and running late so don't have a leg to stand on! I do turn off the tv regularly if i don't receive a response to questions. Dc groan but accept it and we are generally ok in the mornings if a bit chaotic. I'd love to be one of those mothers who does household tasks in the morning but it's never gonna happen!

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 25/09/2009 07:49

I really admire all of you who don't have TV in the mornings but I am just wondering what I would DO for the 4 hours between getting up and going to pre-school (we live 2 minutes away from school) if I didn't put it on for a bit/

Housemum · 25/09/2009 08:18

DD2 (6) is the slowest in the world at getting ready for school (there is always an interesting shoebox/piece of fluff/spider to investigate) but since she discovered morning telly it is a great incentive - if she is fed, washed, dressed and school bag ready she can watch telly till we leave - it's working so far, no longer screaming at her with 5 mins to go that I will take her to school in her PJ's if she hasn't got dressed yet!

ShinyAndNew · 25/09/2009 09:13

Twomanyfalls dd1 has two hours to get dressed and eat breakfast before we need to set off for school .

On the rare occassions she has time to spare, we all sit around the table and I have a cup of coffee the dd's have hot milk and we talk. Or we set off a bit earlier and she can play in the yard or in the park before school.

Once the tv goes on dd1 is off with fairies, or Hannah Montana, or Ben 10 or..........

TishTosh21 · 25/09/2009 09:54

I read an article recently where a mother used to have a terrible time trying to get her DD to eat breakfast because she had watched tv beforehand. She then banned the tv before breakfast and played with her instead (i can totally understand that not everyone has the time/ energy to do this every morning but for the point of this research she did). Her DD consequently behaved herself throughout breakfast and did not throw food at DH, which she used to do alot. It was stated she was more calm and responsive towards the mother.

So all in all, no tv is prob the best idea.

LovingTheRain · 25/09/2009 10:40

YANBU, we have a no tv rule in the mornings here too. Works really well. The best mine get is the radio, but I won't tell you which station incase you all hate me Dissaprove!

smee · 25/09/2009 10:47

I said no tv and stuck to it like glue, but have relented as DS hated mornings being all about being told what to do. So now DS has one 15 min programme when he gets up - usually Pinky and Perky (my how that's changed ). It gives him a bit of power back (v.important for my wannabe tyrant). He then switches it off and gets himself dressed, and for the past few mornings has even made my breakfast while I do his lunch box. My mornings are so so much better because I gave him some say. So am amazed to find myself saying I love tele..

MusicalMummyJules · 25/09/2009 11:01

I've managed to compromise with DD that if she gets dressed, has breakfast, brushes teeth etc in time and is COMPLETELY ready for school (i.e shoes, coat, book bag at the ready) then she can watch the tv - however that so rarely happens that she forgets about it now and just does some colouring!

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 25/09/2009 12:26

"So all in all, no tv is prob the best idea."

Not when you are up at 5ish tishtosh!

It works perfectly in this house. No drama, no hassles, DD knows what time she can watch it until and always gets off to pre-school without a complaint. of course she is only 3 so that could all change....