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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban telly in the mornings?

102 replies

BalloonSlayer · 23/09/2009 07:53

Have finally had it after 5 years of reminding, cajoling, nagging, shouting, and sometimes screaming like a banshee to get DCs ready for school.

Since the beginning of term we have had telly off at 8am, still has not worked.

This week I have flipped and said it's not going on at all.

DD ok about it. DS2 to small to care. DS1 is a study of martyred injury and Kevin-like injustice. Needless to say it is DS1 who is the one who makes us all late for school.

DH thinks I am being OTT at banning TV entirely. He thinks its unfair as DS1 often gets up very early. I think one of the reason DS1 does get up so early is because he wants to watch the telly - then he is tired and I get attitude all day.

Opinions please.

OP posts:
swanriver · 24/09/2009 13:30

YANBU No tv on school mornings here - then you can use it sparingly as a special treat when you really really need to get them to do something.
We had StarWars excerpts in morning all last week because builder was here.

Find there is no time to play unless it is switched off.
Also they wake up to watch it.
But you can make special dispensations

slowreadingprogress · 24/09/2009 13:32

I'm glad it worked ok BS

FWIW plenty of people have it on without it being a problem - as it happens before school is practically the only time my ds will watch telly - other than that he's too busy playing! And yes with us it went on that early from when he used to get up at 5.30am (bless) - the early rising coupled with his inability to play alone or amuse himself at that age, = TV, being as I am not physically capable of lightsabre battles with miniature star wars figurines at 5.30am nor do I have an ability at that time of day to make a space rocket out of loo rolls and crepe paper.......

slowreadingprogress · 24/09/2009 13:33

not that I'm saying you shouldn't have had a problem BS I just mean it's not terrible parenting to have it on!

4littlelions · 24/09/2009 13:34

I've managed to keep the TV off first thing and dinner time for a while but you know the world has changed. Husband has the TV on for the news about 6AM, he goes out about 20mins later and the TV goes off. 3yr old manages to get it back on at some point most mornings

zazen · 24/09/2009 13:38

I can hardly hear the telly in the mornings what with the DCs screaming for my attention - where's my breakfast? where's my uniform.. endless questions, just as we were getting to the interesting bit....

seriously - how can anyone organise their day with the TV on -
and we don't even have a TV in our house, we have a radio - works well I think as we all pull together as a team to get ready on time with little fuss.

francagoestohollywood · 24/09/2009 13:39

Yanbu.
Switching the tv on first thing in the morning has always been taboo when I was a child etc. Therefore, tis taboo for my dc as well

choosyfloosy · 24/09/2009 13:41

YANBU and glad it's working out. I kept telly off in the mornings for FIVE PIGGING YEARS of propping myself up with eight cups of coffee before 8.45am and playing Hungry Hippos at 5.38am [moan]. Last Christmas dh was ill and really unable to do anything with ds in the mornings except lie on the sofa; however i was demanding a few lie-ins , so all of a sudden we had telly in the mornings, and what was WORST was it was CITV - i.e. Ben 10, Storm Hawks (which I unfortunately got into myself - fancy that Aerrow), Spongebob etc, plus their vile versions of Batman and Justice League. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time because ds watched a beautiful hour during which I could unload the dishwasher in total silence. It definitely did his behaviour no good, funnily enough, and I worried about the adverts.

6 months later our telly has blown up (accidentally) and though we don't mind ds having a bit of a DVD in the mornings, he usually doesn't want to and screen time has reverted to be a chillout time for us all in the afternoon. I wish I'd stuck to my guns throughout, although on the plus side I can bribe him to do anything with a Ben 10 sticker.

Sorry it's so long - I'm at a pleasant loose end.

Acanthus · 24/09/2009 13:46

We don't have and have never had the tv on in the mornings. DSs are now 10 and 8. We have time for piano practice, spellings and all sorts in the mornings. They don't ever ask to put the telly on. DS2 does go for his nintendo the minute he steps through the door home though. Which just just to show - they get used to what they are allowed!

Niecie · 24/09/2009 13:47

I agree with you slowreadingprogress. Telly watching isn't always bad.

We have it on in the mornings as it keeps the DC in the same place where I can bellow at them to get ready.

I have turned it off occasionally but they wander off and do their own thing, read a book, play with something, anything but get washed and dressed. They can watch telly and get ready at the same time. It is very difficult to read and get dressed at the same time so I don't encourage it. And I still have to bellow at them, that makes no difference.

FWIW the 3 of us are up and out of the door in 40 minutes.

They watch CBBC (with the clock) and don't tend to watch much after school any more so I can't really complain.

slowreadingprogress · 24/09/2009 13:49

I think on reading what others have said there are two things that make it ok for us

I'm anally organised in the evenings (because getting up in the morning hurts and I cannot be expected to organise anything) so lunches are ready, uniform laid out, homework in bag yada yada. So there's nothing for us to actually do except wash, dress (done before we come down) and then get breakfast and drink lots of coffee

and the other thing is that DS finds the morning TV a calming thing; if it had any impact on his behaviour at all then I'd think differently I'm sure....but then we have always watched cbeebies which is very gentle or sometimes milkshake which again is quite 'young' and gentle-ish

RedTartanLass · 24/09/2009 13:55

We never have TV on in the morning on school days. OMG that would drive me mad, and they are allowed 30 mins max in the evening. I also am surprised at the number who watch tv in the morning, maybe it's because when I had my first ds in hte 80s, the only kids tv was at 1.30pm on BBC 1 and Cbeebies was just a twinkle in a controller's eye!

My LOs get up at the crack of dawn to watch tv at the weekends,and we get a long lie to about 8am. Pah! Long lie and 8am is that not an oxymoron to people who don't have kids!

Niecie · 24/09/2009 13:58

We sound like kindred spirits slowreadingprogress - that is more or less how it is for us.

In fact the DSs are 9 and 6 and only last yr stopped watching Milkshake!

I also find that for DS2 who is only just 6 and can't tell the time, he knows that when the programme ends(Deadly 60 animals thing atm) he needs to put his shoes on. It acts as a marker for where he should be at with getting ready.

slowreadingprogress · 24/09/2009 14:09

Spooky Niecie - DS also knows at the end of a certain programme (Peppa Pig at the mo!) that is the time we leave. It is a useful way of marking the time for him.

Plus these morning programmes, thinking on it, are actually often really nice and they're something I will look back on with nostalgia and fondness, just like the few programmes that I remember from my childhood! I just love Postman Pat....and the Koala Brothers....and Peppa Pig, Little Princess etc. Alot of them are just so cute!

OscarByTheSea · 24/09/2009 14:36

No TV on in the morning at our place.

FimbleHobbs · 24/09/2009 14:53

We start with the news then have Milkshake on provided the DC get washed and dressed when I ask them too, otherwise it goes off.

It works well because:

a)No one likes The Mr Men Show so when that comes on its time to head downstairs.

b) Watching 'Big School' is a sneaky way of finding out what happens at DS's school as he doesn't normally chat about it much.

c) I moan about critique all the adverts to prevent them asking for expensive crap responsibly educate the children about the dangers of our commercialist society.

stealthsquiggle · 24/09/2009 15:26

sorry, haven't made it through the whole thread, but to the OP - we have put an earliest time the TV can go on even on weekends and, surprise surprise, DS (6) now doesn't get up until that time, and is no longer quite so tired and stroppy.

As for morning TV on school mornings - clearly it depends on the DC, but my DS zones out completely if the TV is on at all (even if it is boring adult TV) which leads to even-slower-than-normal progress, and a very very shouty Mummy. Given the choice between TV + shouty Mummy and no TV + nice reasonable Mummy, even DS agrees that no TV is the right decision.

stealthsquiggle · 24/09/2009 15:32

..and FWIW this amounts to a sacrifice on my part as I function best with some sort of background noise - so often I get up to tidy kitchen, sort washing, make lunches, drink 3 cups of coffee, etc, all with the TV on in the background, and then turn it off before yelling for gently waking the DC up.

IWantCleanCarpets · 24/09/2009 16:12

No TV in the mornings here but we do listen to Cbeebies radio (Radio 7) or reruns of Big Toe books (also Radio 7)

fedupofthisnausea · 24/09/2009 16:12

I don't have the tv on in the morn - simply because i have no time to put it on let alone sit and watch it.

And i'm lucky because i am up about 15 mins before DD so make her lunch, run her bath, then wake her up and put her in. She'll bath herself and i'll get ready in the meantime. Then for her its get dressed, quick breakie and out of the door.

My DD is only 3 though and at pre-school but annoyingly turns on the tv whenever she walks into the livingroom. I just tend to keep her too occupied in the morn so she doesn't get a chance

stealthsquiggle · 24/09/2009 16:15

[draconian mother] my DC wouldn't dare turn the TV on without asking - and they don't generally bother asking in the mornings because they know what the answer will be.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/09/2009 16:19

tv goes on IF they are dressed, finished breakie, brushed teeth/hair and all ready for school

often get 5mins a day, sometimes get none (if slow) and very rarely have had 20mins (if fast)

but tv NEVER goes on till ALL children ready

deaddei · 24/09/2009 16:25

We have BBC news on in our bedroom - ds comes and watches that at 6.45 so he can watch the sport.
But no kids tv allowed.

fedupofthisnausea · 24/09/2009 16:25

Lol, mine knows she shouldn't turn the tv on without asking but does anyway.

I don't like tv in the mornings but don't mind her doing it on a weekend or when i need to get the housework done (as long as she has picked up all her toys first, which is our little rule) so i suppose at 3 with little understanding of which day it'll be today she tends to do it anyway. If i say turn it off, will sulk a little but do as she's told so i can't complain too much i suppose.

Pushingonthrough · 24/09/2009 16:52

YANBU - I banned the AM telly and never looked back. DD1 actually gets dressed within half an hour now

Pushingonthrough · 24/09/2009 16:55

Forgot to mention - my brother and I used to compete over who could get up the earliest and therefore have control over the morning programmes. I used to drag myself out of bed at 5.30 to watch the Flintstones. I was about 8 at the time I think - so your hunch about ds1 getting up for telly may be right.