to get fed up with hearing people moan

[preeny]

i seem to be surrounded by it, does anyone alse feel the same

oh beneifts oh dear thats an entire thread on its own but im not going to moan about it instead i will say im glad its not raining and is quite a mild day and will thhink of all the other nice things going on in my life which is a bit hard at the moment as there is a family funeral today and i care alot about my family and dont like seeing any of them hurt or in pain

I have 2 different filters on my eyes. Sometimes (most of the time) I have the ones that make things look really sunny and vibrant. But at others I have the ones that make the world look grey and hard and scary. I suspect that there are people who only ever have the grey ones.

YANBU but everyone moans. I often think people moan too much about trivial stuff though. Or about their kids!!

And they can drag you down.

Lets face it, everyone has problems, everyone. Yes, I do talk about my problems to some people, occasionally, but I don't see it as part of a friendship I have with someone else to constantly put a downer on them and dump my problems onto the ones they already have, all the time.

Of course, people who see it as an acceptable part of a relationship with someone else, aren't going to think this is a problem, and perhaps get a bit defensive about it. Perhaps I could be said to be selfish and trying to protect myself from them a little bit just to cope and keep plodding on with the shit I have??

"just to cope and keep plodding on with the shit I have?"

that's fine - some of the time, but often that is the very worst thing that you can do and it ends up back firing, often in horrible ways.

Like RIND said, most shit people have is 'trivial', but lots of it. There are some who have huge probs and it helps talking to someone, but it's all about balance.

I'm not being heartless, but friendship has to include/involve both people, and if one person feels the other has an obligation to listen and show concern about all their millions of trivial shit, then the other person may choose to give them a wide berth.

Some people are emotional vampires, but they are rarely the ones with the real problems IME.

I've tended to find if it's a good friend that you've known a long time it's swings and roundabouts.

Millions of trivial shit can get you down just as much as one bit piece of crap.

And I'm as to how you know someone well enough from school run to know they don't have depression. That's very perceptive of you.

ALFA - I've known her for five years, and we were what I would call friends for quite a while at the beginning, but I couldn't help but notice there was a pattern emerging from conversations we had, and how I felt before/after talking to her.