to want to hold my baby when he is NOT pissed off about something?

[SmallScrewCap]

Just that, really. DS is about 4 weeks now. Family and visitors all want their cuddles when he is alert, freshly changed, has a full tummy (but is out of danger of puking), not sleeping, not breastfeeding and not crying. As all parents of newborns know, this probably accounts for about 5 minutes out of every hour.

As soon as he begins to cry, belch, puke, crap, root, or go to sleep with dribbly extras, it's "Ohhhhh, I think someone wants their Mummy!" and I get presented with Mr Furious while everyone else has a nice chat and a cuppa. An hour later after I've breastfed, cleaned up posset, changed nappy and maybe an outfit too, some scumbag welcome guest says "I'm ready for MY baby cuddles now" and then promptly announces "Oh look! He's smiling at me, I must have the magic touch!" Or my particular favourite, "They can tell whether you're stressed or relaxed, can't they?" as I sit in the corner smelling of boob cheese and trying to remain upright after 6 weeks of no sleep.

I decided to give him a lovely bath yesterday with DD while we had some time to ourselves, and he shat in it, and he was sitting and crying until he puked in the poo soup and DD was shrieking at the sight, and then my sister-in-law rang to negotiate an outing for Sunday dinner, and DH tried to give me the phone for me to make arrangements. I don't think so

This is not my first and I know it gets better! Please rant with me and help me to keep a sense of humour about it.

see this is why i've always been secretly relieved to be too far from family for these sorts of visits

If its any comfort, your post made me laugh out loud. In laws are especially bad for this! My 2nd is 5 and a half months now - it does get better!

I just love it when your're changing the babies nappy,when he starts crapping all over the mat, then vomits milk up at the same time & your eldest pipes up 'can I have a drink please mum'
You have my sympathy, but then again baby really does save the best smiles for mummy

Actually said sis-in-law is ace, she totally accepted a "thanks but no thanks" and then came round for a cuppa and did the breakfast dishes, so it's not all bad!

Awhhhh of course yaNbu, sorry but made me laugh about the bath too, I cried when DD" did it as a nb. sending 'It WILL get better' reassurance hugs, and if I wass you, I'd turn the tables, as soon as He ccries, fills his nappy, kicks off, whatever(apart from needing food) Dump and run, need the loo or whatever..well, not all the time, but just for the next few times you have people there

God, sorry about all the double letters/spelling mistakes

Aw thanks mumface I will remember to tell everyone else that their smiles are just wind

He did the nappy-off poo/puke combo when a good friend (with kids of her own) was visiting last week, and she was speechless - I know that we find our own kids' juices less offensive than other people might, but it still surprises me when other parents are freaked out by them!

even better, whenever they cry, some knowing older, wiser relitive tells you they either have wind or are teething.

I spent many a time with my first rubbing her back just to please someone, knowing all the time she dam well didnt have wind!!

NeedCoffee Thank you, I will do that

"magic touch"

oh god yes yes teamcullen

"Oh I think he's got wind!"

Then handing over a baby who doesn't know what the fuck just happened to him and is now puce with fury!

lol! Poo soup! I shall share some horror stories with you in a few weeks when I will have a 4.4 year old, newly 3 year old and newborn twins but my baby horror stories are all buried and forgotten for now!

may the Force be with you Curiousty....

er I can spell. Honest.

lol! I shall need the force! Fortunately I have an amazing DH and he is able to work from home so various combinations of children can be left behind at various times.

Hey curiosity, maybe with twins you have double the chance of being the one holding a baby who is currently having a cooing session!

I love your OP! Yes, older relatives all have 'the knack' don't they, especially when you hand over a warm, clean, fed and sleepy baby

Oh god yes the way older relatives start banging perfectly happy babies on the back and going "bring up your windypops for grandma" [gritted teeth]

And then the poor baby starts screaming so they hand them back, so you start to BF them to calm them down again and said older relative sucks their teeth and mutters about Hungry Again Already and Rusks.

lol @ muttering baby winders

My PIL have been banging on for weeks about how I can leave my 10 week old DD with them any time because my MIL is "paediatrically trained" because she was a nurse in 1970 and did a course.

This is the same MIL who advised me to rub my nipples with "mentholated spirit" (sic) when I was pregnant, to "toughen them up" AND the same MIL who told me her favourite job when she was being "paediatric" was to make up the bottles, because it got her away from the babies...

Every time I hand my DD to her, DD HOWLS and I think, good on ya, girly, that'll show her who's boss.

OH, revelation!

I have only just realised that "Oh dear, he's got wind!" is probably doublespeak for "Shite, I have no idea what to do with this baby, but I want to appear to be an authority on the subject"

I may have used it myself in another, younger, child-free life...

I suddenly feel a lot better about people saying it

SmallScrewCap

You´ve got yours well trained.
Waiing until he´s in the bath to poo& puke!!

diddl Yes, that crossed my mind when he did it, too - however cleaning poo off an entire baby, using water infused with poo, is not an easy task...

My MiL is OBSSESED with wind in any child under about two. She still tells me triuphantly that she has got DC3's wind up (she is 9 months FGS and self-winds - ie belches like a navvy!!). Weird.

Back to the OP I tended to feel that I mainly seemed to be holding my DC for feeding purposes, which whilst lovely, got a little tedious. I was nice now and again to look at some part of their face that wasn't the ear and cheeks !

Brilliant thread, smallscrewcaps! My pfb is almost 5 months and already those newborn days feel like a faraway era.

Treasured memories:

hiding in my bedroom to bf lambkin because my mother (who bfed us all perfectly successfully somehow) was adamant that the day-old baby should only feed every 4 hours;

foaming at the mouth because my sister was offering my baby around for cuddles as if she were not only a parcel, but her parcel;

crying because everything was covered in vomit again and I was just too goddamned tired to start feeding floppy little limbs through impossible little sleeves again;

asking, in all seriousness, if we could get everyone together in a nice cheap local restaurant rather than in my house the next day as I needed desperately to stop having my endlessly shouting and cooking family riding roughshod over my house, and being completely ignored as if I had not spoken.

Next time - if there is a next time (I must be mad) - I will hide out in an undisclosed location until the baby is 6 weeks old, just putting out videos of us all on the internet to show that we are all alive and well, with no background clues as to where they were filmed, like Bin Laden.