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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have got mad with the checkout woman in Tescos?

97 replies

Marie12 · 19/09/2009 16:28

She insisted I show ID as I had a bottle of wine in amongst my shopping. The girl serving was underage so had to shout 'alcohol' to the woman on the next checkout who challenged my age.

I am 31 and I had my 2 kids and DH with me. I shop there twice a week and have never been ID'd! I don't carry ID, why should I have to?

I got really defensive about it which probably made me look really silly. I feel quite red faced about it now. I ranted at her in front of queuing customers about how old I was and how I don't expect to be asked for ID and she said I looked younger than 25! My husband said I should be flattered but I just saw red at the bureacracy of it all!

In the end she let us buy it because she said my husband looked older; he's the same age as me! Just feel really embarrassed now for kicking off - I'm not normally like that, not in public anyway! Must be nearing that time of the month or something!

OP posts:

Stephief · 22/09/2009 21:05

While its not right to rant at the checkout person, I wold be really annoyed if, at 31, I was id'd too. I think maybe sometimes some of the younger checkout operatives are rubbish at gauging how old people are. Unless of course you are a really young looking person! I dont carry id, most people over the age of 21 wouldnt carry id when doing the weekly food shop (I dont drive and have no passport, and I think if I applied for a proof of age card I would be laughed at!) but tbh in your situation, if I was challenged for id, I would say you can keep the wine to the checkout girl, rather than kick up a fuss.

Original poster

Marie12 · 23/09/2009 13:21

Can I reiterate that I DID NOT challenge the underage checkout girl at all, I challenged the much older woman (in her 50's) who was on the next checkout to her as she was the one who was going on about me needing ID to be able to buy wine. People keep telling me off for being nasty to a poor young girl, well I wasn't!

I wasn't deperate for the bottle of wine, in fact I've only had one glass from it since I bought it. I just found it ludicrous to be told that unless I didn't have ID, I couldn't buy it when I am 31! i don't carry ID and haven't since I was about 18!

overmydeadbody thanks for the English lesson, I am well aware that Tesco doesn't have an s at the end but most people do refer to it as 'Tescos'. Not sure it really matters but if it makes you feel better, then well done.

OP posts:

Original poster

Marie12 · 23/09/2009 13:24

desperate and I

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 23/09/2009 13:44

if a particular store has been caught selling to underage children then their license may state that they have to have id from every customer. if this doesn't work then they can lose their license for a set time if not altogether.

most shops just follow the challenge 25 scheme as that's an easy way to uphold the licensing objectives. this means if the customer looks under 25 they must be challenged and show id. it does not mean asking them if they're under 25 or asking for id if they look under 18.

so if you look under 25, which you may well do at age 27, 30 or 31 then expect to be asked.

Original poster

Marie12 · 23/09/2009 13:52

Yes I will now, thanks, and I'm going to carry my driving licence photo card with me incase it happens again. I don't know if thats sufficent ID, I guess it won't be in some places, but then I had never been asked to provide ID before this incident.

Just don't get why, when I've put my hands up and said I know I overreacted, people are still so keen to come on here 4 days after the event and seemingly take great pleasure in having a go at me! Teach me to post on AIBU again. I used to like this topic!

OP posts:

Original poster

Marie12 · 23/09/2009 13:53

sufficient

OP posts:

TheMightyToosh · 23/09/2009 13:55

I can see how you would be a bit annoyed if you didn't have ID with you and they refused to serve you. At 31, you shouldn't really have to think about such things! I used to get asked a lot in pubs, even by people who were several years below me at my school! And it is embarrassing and annoying if you can't get what you want just because somebody doesn't believe you - in your 30s, it shouldn't really be an issue.

BUT - I know that they have to be so careful when selling alcohol, so although it is annoying, I guess we have to just breathe deeply and remind ourselves that it isn't really the shop assistant's fault (although it can seem like they have it in for you sometimes!)

mummygirl · 23/09/2009 13:56

ok, I'm being a bit thick here, can someone please explain to me this sentence from the OP? S-L-O-W-L-Y and C-L-E-A-R-L-Y

The girl serving was underage so had to shout 'alcohol' to the woman on the next checkout who challenged my age.

mummygirl · 23/09/2009 13:56

oops, italics didn't work

multivac · 23/09/2009 13:59

mummygirl - if you are underage, you are not only not allowed to buy alcohol; you are also not allowed to sell it.

multivac · 23/09/2009 13:59

...or indeed, serve it. Used to be a right pain in the arse when I was a 16-year-old waitress.

TheMightyToosh · 23/09/2009 13:59

The original girl wasn't allowed to serve the alcohol as she was underage, so she called for someone older to sell it.

Then the older assistant asked the OP her age.

mummygirl · 23/09/2009 14:05

oh, OK, sorry about that, thank you.

And I can see why OP was irritated, I have in the past yelled in the middle of Sainsbury's "I'm twenty-fcuking-six", pretending I was talking to my boyfriend LOUDLY. It's that at 31 you don't expect to have to carry ID with you in order to buy a bottle of wine at the supermarket. The people selling it need to cover their backsides of course, but I reckon it would be better if they just decided that ANYONE who wants to buy alcohol should be ID'd. Then people would know and get used to it.

ruddynorah · 23/09/2009 14:11

under challenge 25 3 forms of id are acceptable. so you need one of these-

passport
photo driving licence
pass accredited id card (you can google this for cards available, they start at £10)

UnquietDad · 23/09/2009 14:15

I've never been asked to show ID in my life. Am I missing out? Mind you, I didn't start drinking until I was almost 18 anyway.

thedollshouse · 23/09/2009 14:24

I can see why you were so annoyed. Waitrose started to get really hot on this recently but thankfully have calmed down now.

I was asked for ID recently, I am 37 and don't look any younger, I asked her old she thought I looked and she said about 33 but she said that they had been asked to check ID on anyone who wasn't really old looking. Her colleague then came over and gave me the once over and told me that they were checking ID for everyone!

A couple of days later a women who was clearly in her fourties was refused alcohol because she had no ID, her friend who did have ID tried to purchase the wine but they refused to sell it to her incase she gave it to her friend.

I also have friends who have been told they can't buy wine because they have had their young children with them.

I think the situation is getting a bit daft nobody seems to know what they are doing. I think perhaps we should go down the Ozzie route and only sell alcohol in wine warehouses and make it compulsory for people to have ID at least that way we would all know where we stand!

ooojimaflip · 23/09/2009 14:37

Have these regulations made any difference to underage drinking?

Jude68 · 23/09/2009 15:43

I think it's obvious the check-out girl was not using her brains. How can a 31 yr old pass for under 18?
Come on! It's unbelivable.

Remotew · 23/09/2009 15:48

I don't think it's made any difference to underage drinking. I know that DD's friends get someone over 18 to buy them alcohol. I'm not sure what the law is but it's then given to them for private parties sometime swith parents present so no laws are broken afaik.

Also there is a lucrative business in fake ID's, so it really is a complete waste of time.

Stigaloid · 23/09/2009 16:06

Hmmmm i'm siding with the OP. At 31 there is now way (unless you are botoxed to teh max) that you would look 18 or younger. Similarly unless the DC were under 3 there is no way she would have school age DC at 18. The policy of 25 is bizarre. The legal age is 18. Even if she looked 25 at 31 i doubt she would look younger than 18 and it would annoy the hell out of me if i got carded.

Although shouting at her for doing her job isn't reasonable - i'd probably do the same.

I never get carded though. I look all of my haggard 34 years and then some!

Original poster

Marie12 · 23/09/2009 16:58

I really didn't realise this was so common, I just thought the woman was being pedantic but it seems from all the posts that there is a lot of confusion around this issue.

thedollshouse I am amazed that your friends have not be allowed to buy alcohol because they have young children with them! Whatever next! That is ridiculous! It is just a reflection of the nanny state we live in. They could have been buying a bottle of wine as a present or to use in cooking, or even if it was for them, so what? FGS, do they really think you are going to drag your kids along to the nearest park bench and get sozzled! Can we not be trusted to do the responsible thing without someone telling us what we can/can't do all the time.

My husband had to go and buy medised the other day and got asked how old the child was that it was for! Medised is suitable for children over 2 (according to the bottle) but the pharmacist won't let you have it unless your child is over 6!

OP posts:

TheMightyToosh · 24/09/2009 11:54

Agree Marie12 - a total nanny state.

And my biggest gripe over all this is that it's not as though the people of Tesco (or wherever) are in any position of authority, which is why it tends to rub you up the wrong way when they try to pull rank and refuse to sell a bottle of wine to a 30-odd year old!

I can definitely see why this narked you!

It's one thing to be asked and then believed, that is quite flattering. But to be refused alcohol in your 30s is just wrong!

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