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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have got mad with the checkout woman in Tescos?

97 replies

Marie12 · 19/09/2009 16:28

She insisted I show ID as I had a bottle of wine in amongst my shopping. The girl serving was underage so had to shout 'alcohol' to the woman on the next checkout who challenged my age.

I am 31 and I had my 2 kids and DH with me. I shop there twice a week and have never been ID'd! I don't carry ID, why should I have to?

I got really defensive about it which probably made me look really silly. I feel quite red faced about it now. I ranted at her in front of queuing customers about how old I was and how I don't expect to be asked for ID and she said I looked younger than 25! My husband said I should be flattered but I just saw red at the bureacracy of it all!

In the end she let us buy it because she said my husband looked older; he's the same age as me! Just feel really embarrassed now for kicking off - I'm not normally like that, not in public anyway! Must be nearing that time of the month or something!

OP posts:

tobago04 · 19/09/2009 17:06

The same thing has happened to me on several occassions and i'm 30,got really annoyed one time,had my 2 dds with me,i just wanted to get my shopping,got really hacked off that at the age of 30 i can't buy a bottle of bloody wine!
I now make sure i take ID with me and whip it out before they ask

Remotew · 19/09/2009 17:07

I really don't get why people find it so funny. It's happening to lots of grown up people in their 20's and 30's nowadays so I wouldn't find it flattering tbh.

nickschick · 19/09/2009 17:08

Im 35 and it still happens to me - in asda, i thought she was joking -but no she wasnt- luckily I had ID and so it was ok - but in sainsburys before that I didnt and had to go outside to get dh to come in and buy his own bacardi .

Ive also been mistaken for a pupil at ds school and the science teacher told me off.....hed asked me to show some parents to the labs on parents evening and I jokily said I would if I knew where they were 'stupid girl its where you do science' my dh said 'excuse me thats my wife'.....oh said the teacher..... and before that I was called into school to collect ds and as I waited in reception some teacher told me to stand on the corridor for wearing pink shoes!!!(i was wearing smart clothes that she mistook for uniform) she wasnt so embarassed tho .......

ArizonaBarker · 19/09/2009 17:09

I take my flattery where I can get it, abouteve.

CarmenSanDiego · 19/09/2009 17:09

Aww, I agree with you that is really annoying. Especially if you had two kids with you. This ID checking has really gone a bit mad.

YA a little bit U to have got angry with the girl, but can understand why it pissed you off.

AngelaCarleen · 19/09/2009 17:12

YABU, but heyho, you know it, and you've admitted it.

I got ID'd in asda for baileys (I was 25 at the time, their policy was under 21). My sister bought hers with no questions asked, and she's a year younger than me .

Just be flattered and start carrying your driving licence around

Remotew · 19/09/2009 17:12

If they asked me now that would be funny.

I carry my driving licence in my purse nowadays but not sure why as it's very unlikely to happen to an old hag like me.

Seriously, I have even told DD to get photo ID to buy these age related products, she will have no choice when she reaches 18 if she wants to get into a club, buy a drink etc.

Original poster

Marie12 · 19/09/2009 18:01

Right photo ID card it is then!

OP posts:

sarah293 · 19/09/2009 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kickassangel · 19/09/2009 18:26

the thing is, there are plenty of people who don't have photo ID. whatever your thoughts on compulsory ID, atm it's not a legal requirement in the UK, and there are people without passports, driving licence etc. are they not allowed to buy alcohol? it kind of discriminates against them. and there is nothing to stop a shop wiving its policy if it's clearly stupid to apply it to some people.

so a family standing there (i mean, you'd have to have really tried to have 2 kids & atill be under 18) it's silly to insist, an 'adult' alone, of indeterminate age, is harder to judge. i know the penalties are huge if they get it wrong & get caught, but that is highly unlikely in this scenario.

it does sound, in this case, as though they were sticking to rules for the sake of it. i once had a bouncer refuse me entrance to a club cos my photo ID had expired as i was TOO OLD to renew the rail card! apparently, it didn't prove my age, even with photo & dob on.

in the US, you get carded if you look under 40, and sometimes just randomly anyway, the till will just ask for ID verification and not allow the purchase til it's been confirmed. as you HAVE to carry your drivers licence whenever you drive, you have ID on you. i do find it annoying if we go out for the eve, that i need to remember things & carry a big, bulky purse, but at least you know you're all being treated equally.

bumpsoon · 19/09/2009 19:55

The woman serving me at my local supermarket asked me for id today , i was about to leap over the conveyor and kiss her ,when she started to chuckle in a 'as if' manner

Hassled · 19/09/2009 20:01

I have never, ever, been ID'd. Except for the time I tried to get into a club aged 16, lied about my age and still managed to cock up my DOB so in my lie I would only have been 17.

Since then, nothing. Nada. I am 43 and have clearly looked it for a hell of a long time. If a checkout girl ID'd me I think I would snog them.

ShowOfHands · 19/09/2009 20:02

I have no drivers' licence and no passport. Lord above knows how anybody would ID me. Good job I don't drink.

FfreckleFface · 19/09/2009 20:05

YABU

I get it quite a lot, even when I'm with the baby and buying other grown up stuff like dog food and broccoli. They are just doing their jobs. I'm not sure, but is it right that the actual staff member can get fined, not the store?

ravenAK · 19/09/2009 20:12

Yes, the staff member can get a ridiculous fine. Probably more now than in my publican days, & it was 4 figures then!

So can't blame the girl for following policy.

OTOH it is bloody ID cards by the back door - make it so awkward for haggard 38 year olds like myself to buy booze that we gratefully cough up for a 'voluntary' ID card in a couple of years time. & then in short order it'll no longer be voluntary...

It always surprises me that people are so insouciant about the potential impact on their civil liberties.

cory · 19/09/2009 20:54

This used to happen to me all the time in Sweden where they are really strict; I have to say I was rather hurt last time I went and the cashier just remarked on the quality of the wine. Ok, so I am 45, but even so...I could do with a bit of flattery as well as the next person.

groundhogs · 20/09/2009 10:07

I bought a kitchen knife in M&S the other day.. the lady on the counter said ... OOh, I'm supposed to ask you if you are over 21 aren't i? (I'm 40)

Oh BLESS you I said! That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today!

YABU, a bit, but you were stressed in Tescos... happens to us all at some time or another...

As you go in there a couple of times a week, suggest next time you go in, ideally alone, search her out and apologise quietly.

ilovesprouts · 20/09/2009 10:13

colditz youve no need to swear ot the poster ,she only asked,!!

random · 20/09/2009 10:17

yabu my dd works on a checkout.. you wouldn't believe the abuse she gets just for doing her job

ilovesprouts · 20/09/2009 10:21

perhaps she did not know if the checkout girl was under age !!

MrsChemist · 20/09/2009 10:27

abouteve while you may not lie about your DD's age, many people do. "Oh their mum said they were over 18" is not going to get someone out of a fine and they will still lose their jobs. I agree that it sucks. I worked in a pub and I hated asking people for ID, but it was that, or lose my job.

Deeeja · 20/09/2009 10:31

LOL My dh has been id'd before to buy painkillers at Sainsburys. He is 38.
Always makes his day.

bubblagirl · 20/09/2009 10:32

i will stick up for checkout girl as trading standards or whoever it is send random people in sometimes to try and catch check out staff out they will deliberately send under age or young looking older people in and see if the staff are doing there jobs if they get caught out the store gets hefty fine

i have been asked before and yes its annoying but also i myslef having worked as checkout in store once along time ago understand why this has to be done

i would have just ribbed my partner in all honesty for looking old lol

MaggieBeauLeo · 20/09/2009 10:35

Stop boasting honey!!

You'll be remembering these halcyon days in ten years time.

FiveGoMadonTheDanceFloor · 20/09/2009 10:36

YABU

Our local Tesco was banned from selling alcohol for 2 weeks after someone sold drink to an underage girl so I guess they have massively tightened up their procedures.

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