Right, back story...
When my DH was about 15, he was bought a cockatiel as a Christmas present. When he moved out in his mid 20's to live with his mates, she stayed at home. When he moved out to live with an ex a few years later, she stayed at home. When he moved into our house over 6 years ago, she stayed at home..she has never lived anywhere else but his parents house and never will - the inlaws are far too attached to her. She is thier bird now.
But whenever they go on holiday (couple of times a year plus various weekends away) the bird comes to stay with us. They used to ask in advance if this was OK. They now just turn up with her without a word. Apparently this is because she is DH's pet
We only have a small house. All we have is a lounge and a kitchen/diner downstairs. She has to be in one of these rooms cause she's not going in our bedrooms! Thing is, she hates me (and I have tried to change this but she hates all women that aren't MIL) and she really hates kids. My DS is 2.5. So, because she has to be in one of our living area's and DS is fascinated with her, she is constantly being looked at and her cage wobbled. I feel like a broken record saying "DS leave the bird alone". I have even threatened the naughty step if he touches her again and I will use it if he doesn't stop.
This happens every single time she comes to stay.
Plus, she is filthy. She is forever cleaning herself and flicking bits of feather and seed everywhere. Plus, of course, the poo whenever DH lets her out of the cage! (It's not a big cage, she needs to be out sometimes) I struggle to keep the house clean at the best of times - she does not help.
So - we now have her for a fortnight and I know that the IL's are planning to be away for New Years and will no doubt want to leave the bird with us again. But - I am currently pregnant and our new baby is due at Christmas. Baby will be around a week old, maybe 2, when New Years arrives and I will have had a c-section. I struggled with breastfeeding last time and will be trying again. I do not need the extra hassle. DH is not good at helping with the housework and cannot cook.
AIBU to ask that we don't have her next time the IL's go away?
Both SIL's have huge houses and older children. Both have extra, mostly unused, rooms where they can put the bird on her own so she is not disturbed by the children and children who are old enough to not be constantly messing with her. Neither will have a brand new baby to be contending with. Both are clean freaks (something I would love to be) who will deal with her mess effortlessly.
And, as an aside, AIBU to be a bit narked that we never gets asked if we'd mind looking after her anymore? Surely, after the better part of 10 years, no-one could count her as DH's pet anymore? I certainly wouldn't (and don't) assume anyone will automatically feed our rabbits when we go away and I never ask the same person twice in a row if I can help it. We haven't even been abroad since DS was born and never away for more than a week! It's not like I owe them...