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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's bit much DS1's new USA teacher showed them 9/11 footage

94 replies

carocaro · 12/09/2009 18:59

They are 7 by the way in year 3, UK school.

DS is freaked out by seeing the planes hit the towers, he has never seen it. She cried apparently and asked what the kids thought happened to the people hit by bits of builing in the stree below AND that they were bad people in the planes trying to bring down the USA.

What the fuck?

I need to clarify the details with other Mums/kids but DS is defo shocked.

Is it on the cirriculum?!?!?

Am quite cross about this. AIBU?

OP posts:
EvilEdnasTwinSister · 13/09/2009 14:42

YANBU

My DTs are also 7 and I would be livid if this had happened in their class. It is completely inappropriate. Of course children need to know what goes on in the world but at that age?? No.

I would be in the Heads office complaining.

RockinSockBunnies · 13/09/2009 14:45

Well, I'm going against the grain in thinking that an event of such importance should not be hidden from our children.

DD was 6 months old at the time of 9/11 and she's seen photos of the event. I've explained to her the background of it and the absolutely world-shattering significance of that day.

She's 8 now and I'm planning on showing her documentary footage of 9/11, since there's a lot of stuff on it at the moment (Falling Man etc).

Having said that, I took DD around the Vietnamese 'War Remnants Museum' in Saigon when she was 4 (which had graphic photos from the war), as well as to the Holocaust exhibition at the Imperial War Museum.

I'm a history/politics kind of person and think that DD should be aware of world history and events. I don't believe in shielding her from the realities of the world.

Mind you, I think the teacher crying is a bit odd and probably would confuse the children.

teamcullen · 13/09/2009 14:48

my DD was 5 when 9/11 happened. This was 2 days after my grandmother died so we were up the wall and totally shocked. Sky news was on all night and she saw all those images over and over. It left her with a real fear of flying (thinking the plane would crash into a building.)

This year she has wanted to watch all the documentarys that have been on so she can understand it.

Ds who is 7 and in yr 3, has seen the footage and has been allowed to ask questions which I have answered. This means he knows as much as he needs/wants to know. He has not been upset but realises why it is important. To be honest I dont think he realises that 9/11 was real life, I surpose it would be different if he was in school in that situation.

scroobiuspirate · 13/09/2009 14:50

yanbu

i was watching some of it the other day, and dd happened to come into the room, and the look of shock and fright on her face was unsettling for me. I turned over.

MmeProf · 13/09/2009 14:52

I don't think the teacher should have done this. Children of that age don't know that this is part of history, and may think that it could happen again at any time.

I remember being told at the time not to let children view the footage over and over, as it was shown on the news at the time. Small children see each viewing as a new event, so showing it five times means five planes crashing into the building to them.

Kathyjelly · 13/09/2009 14:54

YANBU

Sounds like the teacher is dealing with her own shock and anger in an inappropriate way.

I was in US when it happened. The coverage was awful, far worse than was shown here and made me (then 38yo) cry. A lot of Americans were and are still stunned by what happened. They've never had terrorists on home soil, they just see it is "good v evil" terms.

But to show pictures and ask 7yos what they imagine is way beyond ok. I'd complain to the head teacher.

MillyR · 13/09/2009 14:55

I don't think it matters if a parent does or does not tell their children about, or show then footage of, 9/11. Different things are important in different families.

I think it is wrong to talk about it in a primary school, particularly in a way that is overly emotional and politicised. I think the history curriculum is quite well balanced and well thought out, and it would be better if schools stuck to that.

YANBU

curiositykilled · 13/09/2009 14:57

I don't think this event should be hidden from children rockinsockbunnies the inappropriate subject matter I was referring to is 'what the kids thought happened to the people hit by bits of builing in the stree below' and the 'bad people'. I think the subject is fine to teach to 7 year olds with an American teacher but it sounds like she taught it in a very uneducational and upsetting way and was attempting some brainwashing either consciously or subconsciously.

BethNoire · 13/09/2009 14:59

I womder iof the thing about being hit was a completely cocked up attempt at 'facillitating discussion'. Some of the questions my boys give me about anything like this are a littlealcking in social awareness but that is important, that they can ask those wuestions.

However its not for a teacher, i think MillyR has it right.

curiositykilled · 13/09/2009 15:08

I would also concede that it is a parental decision. Perhaps if the school wanted to teach it they should have asked the parents their opinion and explained how they were going to broach it. Milly R has a good point basically. It doesn't really matter how I'd feel about it, more how all the parents feel about it - it's clearly a controversial subject.

cazzybabs · 13/09/2009 15:21

Blimey...I would be cross too..

I might talk about it to Year 3 - in a simplified manner maybe (although I would feel it is not that relevent to english children) but no way would I show them the video.

I used to teach year 3 BTW.

cazzybabs · 13/09/2009 15:24

BTW I do talk to my own child (just started year 3) about issues such as genocide and the holocaust...however as I said it is in as gentle way as possible.

NoahAmin · 13/09/2009 15:25

wot no op?

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 13/09/2009 15:51

there's a time and a place and an age. that wasn't it.

alwayslookingforanswers · 13/09/2009 15:59

Rockingsocks - I don't think anyone is saying "7yr olds must NOT know about it".

However 7 is a difficult age. Some will be more emotional developed at that age and be able to deal with it, some children won't.

And regardless of maturity showing children footage like that should be SOLEY a parental decision

As I ssid earlier I think the teacher was well out of order. But DS1 saw the clips younger than that. However I wouldn't let DS2 see the same "sort" of things as his brother did at the same age he's just not emotionally ready to deal with it.

The way the questions were asked, and teachers reponses of crying in front of them is not a way to do it.

At home with parents having made the choice, and ready to switch off/talk about any individual questions about it is the only way at that age to deal with stuff.

If we were talking about senior school children then I wouldn't have so much of an issue of them being shown the clip at school - but still wouldn't be happy with the wa the teacher approached it.

purpleduck · 13/09/2009 16:18

my 7 yo dd could not cope with that and I would be upset if it was shown in class.

That said, my ds is different entirely, and I would be more inclined to discuss it with him. I have discussed the Holocost etc.

Either way its MY choice.

the "typical American" comment was a bit unneccesary IMO

LoulouCapone · 13/09/2009 16:52

I saw this and had to post... OP where are you based? I am in S E Hants and my DD was also shown this in yr3. (two yrs ago) The teacher has since moved to another school - but is still in this area.

DD actually came out of the school and said "people jumped out Mummy, because they didn't want to burn in the fire"
They were told it was why we were at war in Iraq...

I was livid, and I didn't care what reasons they had - it was inappropriate. FULL STOP.

In our case it was the straw that broke the camels back, and I promptly removed DD from the school.

They also thought it was appropriate to talk about Madeline Mcann in their "current affairs" session. Not so inappropriate as such but they discussed it in the style of the Sun newspaper, and the teacher gave no boundaries. DD said "I think the parents did it, what do you think Mummy?"

The teacher in question reminded my of a Demeantor from Harry Potter, she would stand in the classroom door, welcoming the children in by sucking all the intellegence and common sense out of them.

cory · 13/09/2009 16:56

I am all for teaching my children about the world. But at such a young age, frankly I think it is quite enough to tell them about things, rather than making them sit through the footage.

slowreadingprogress · 13/09/2009 17:03

cory that's such a good point. Discussion is a very different thing to seeing atrocities happening in front of you. Agree with someone upthread (was it you?!) who said it is also worth considering the de-sensitising effect that will be caused by actually showing a child this age, this stuff. It's just not necessary.

funkybuddah · 13/09/2009 18:40

I wouldnt be happy if a teacher showed my DS without my say so (he is 7 1/2) but I have shown him some 9/11 footage when I was watching someting the other day, he wasnt freaked by it at all but probably because I showed him and explained it

katiestar · 13/09/2009 18:41

But the footage is on TV so much that i am think the teacher , especially an American teacher , would think most children had already seen it.My eldest child wa in reception at the time it happened and they talked about it in assembley.

tribpot · 13/09/2009 19:15

katiestar - I've not seen the footage for years. This is because the telly is permanently tuned to Cbeebies/Pixar (when it's on I mean). The situation now is quite different from the one at the time. If ds had been 4 then and not now he would almost certainly have seen the footage as I would not have been to not have the news on, if you see what I mean.

SolidGoldBrass · 13/09/2009 20:56

I haven't seen very much of the footage. I can't think of any good reason why I need to see it. I know what happened, what is the point of sitting watching people die when there is fuck al you can do to help them? I don't think it's unreasonable for children to be taught about events like this as part of history/geography/politics (even at the age of 7) but like cory says, tell them about it, don't put on a horror show and howl all through it. They won't learn anything from that (except maybe that their teacher is an emotionally incontinent idiot and someone not to be trusted).

MermaidSpam · 13/09/2009 21:21

Oh my God, YANBU at all. As DH has just said "that woman (teacher) has obviously got a problem".

I'd be straight in to see the head on Monday morning.

mathanxiety · 14/09/2009 02:38

YANBU. At school in the US post 9/11 my DCs teachers needed a permission letter to show any 9/11 related coverage. (In fact, a permission letter was required for any film shown in school.) What is wrong with the teacher? What was she trying to teach? Why exactly would the thought of anyone bringing down the USA be of any concern to a class full of British 7 year olds? Teacher is way over-involved in 9/11, imo, and needs to move on like most other Americans.