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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's bit much DS1's new USA teacher showed them 9/11 footage

94 replies

carocaro · 12/09/2009 18:59

They are 7 by the way in year 3, UK school.

DS is freaked out by seeing the planes hit the towers, he has never seen it. She cried apparently and asked what the kids thought happened to the people hit by bits of builing in the stree below AND that they were bad people in the planes trying to bring down the USA.

What the fuck?

I need to clarify the details with other Mums/kids but DS is defo shocked.

Is it on the cirriculum?!?!?

Am quite cross about this. AIBU?

OP posts:
distraughtmum56 · 13/09/2009 00:55

YABU. Your child may be particularly sensitive, but 9/11 is important and there is no good reason why children should be shielded from the footage.

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/09/2009 01:00

I can't see that US 9/11 is that important to UK 7 year olds. And if there's no good reason to shield them from the footage, similarly there's no good reason tyo expose them to it. This was a teacher from the US importing her personal politics.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 13/09/2009 01:08

At 7 years old? . Totally inappropriate.

bad people trying to bring down the planes?

Does she has issues/problems? She was crying?

Yes, of course it's an emotional subject. And yes, the children should be aware of world problems including hatred towards the US, but at 7 years old, it isn't so much about them and their understanding, rather about her and what she wants the children to learn.

alwayslookingforanswers · 13/09/2009 01:26

woah!

Now I will confess - DS1 (just gone into YR4) has seen clips of it, and other "horrible" stuff on TV. But it's all been done at home, and I know that he understands (as much as a nearly 9yr old can) about it. It was a parental choice that we made as parents based on him.. DS2 hasn't seen the same sort of stuff that DS1 had by the same age (news wise) - as we know he wouldn't "cope" with it. Our choice, our way of doing it.

BUT to show it to an entire class is totally and utterly inappropriate. Many 7yr olds will simply not be equipped with any sort of "world knowledge" and understanding to digest it at all.

I'm all for telling children what goes on in the "real world" - and we have started gently introducing DS2 (just gone into YR1) to News Round but at that age it should be the parents choice, at home, controlling what they are watching and switching off/reassuring if they're upset. Certainly not crying front of the class, and asking questions like that

SolidGoldBrass · 13/09/2009 01:52

WTF purpose does it serve to force 7 year olds to watch this footage and howl and slobber in front of them? This teacher is unfit for her job.

littleducks · 13/09/2009 05:18

9/11 may be important but the teachers explanation was beyond crap, what on earth do they learn from that?

'some bad people' sounds like something out of Scooby Doo

all it will do is frighten kids near skyscrapers or on planes

I dont think a teacher should deliberatley do anything that makes her cry in front of her class, i think it is unprofessional

And i dont think the OPs son was especially sensitive to have been upset, i dont know anyone who wasnt horrified watching those pictures, watching people die isnt ever going to be anything else

nooka · 13/09/2009 05:44

I think this is totally wrong, and really quite bizarre behaviour for a primary school teacher. We lived in NYC last year and talked a bit to our children about 9/11 as we went past the building site that was the world trade centre a fair few times. They were 9 and 8 then and found the whole thing quite difficult to process. We certainly didn't show them footage or get them to think too much about people dying. That would have been cruel and quite ghoulish I think. We do talk about why people do bad things, but at their own pace because making small children feel unsafe benefits no one. I too would be complaining to the headteacher.

slowreadingprogress · 13/09/2009 12:05

'no good reason why children should be shielded from the footage'

there's only one reason, and that's because they're children.

The role of the parent is to gently introduce the idea of this sort of thing at the right time for their child and in the right language. Shoving a 7 year old in front of footage of desperate trapped adults who have had to choose between burning to death or jumping out of the sky is deeply inappropriate.

buttercreamfrosting · 13/09/2009 12:35

Totally unacceptable. As an adult, I find it incredibly difficult to watch these images. My (almost) 7 year old is nowhere near being able to process or in any way understand the images or implications. Nor should he.

thesunshinesbrightly · 13/09/2009 12:39

My DS & DD know about 9/11 but not through the school, my middle child is 10 and couldnt understand why anyone would do that, she had the most confused look.
i also have a 6 year old that knows nothing about it.

so yes i think it is unreasonable to show 7 year olds footage of what happened it is upsetting enough for me as an adult to watch

preciouslillywhite · 13/09/2009 12:42

YANBU.

Head's office on Monday morning, I reckon.

..what was she thinking??

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 13/09/2009 12:48

very inappropriate I think. We were in the US when this happenend (lived near the Pentagon and DH spent a fair bit of time in there) and my kids were 9, 8 and 6 and they found it hard to process and were petrified. (it was on every news channel. the planes into the airport stopped and the skies were silent and we were ringing dh frantically to find out if he was in his office or in the pentagon)
Showing 7 yo's footage and then crying it totally unprofessional.
Sounds like she's importing her US political view into the UK.

cory · 13/09/2009 12:54

I think young children should be shielded from the footage, not only because it is far too disturbing for such young children, but also because of the risk of them becoming totally desensitized.

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2009 13:15

It sounds like this teacher has issues. Presumably she has knew she would get upset, which in itself isn't apropriate. Even if 9/11 were part of the national ciriculum, it may have been best for another memeber of staff to cover it with the children.

YANBU.

bidibidi · 13/09/2009 13:23

I'm kind of amazed that a 7yo hasn't seen the footage. That may be inconceivable for the American teacher; one imagines that every American kid above the age of 5 has seen the footage a lot already.

DD is also 7, Yr3, and very sensitive. She watched some of "The Falling Man" last night. planes crashing, people jumping out, buildings falling down, talk of suicide bombers. I'm surprised, but she wasn't upset at all. Somehow the subject has to be broached, it felt like a reasonable start. So tbh, I wouldn't have an issue with my DC having seen it in class.

JeremyVile · 13/09/2009 13:28

Its the inappropriate crying and talk of "bringing down the USA" that really get me... she sounds a thoroughly odd character.

Corporalcornsilk · 13/09/2009 13:33

Neither of my ds's have seen the footage to my knowledge (8 and 11) although ds1 knows about it and has asked me questions. I would be surprised if ds2 knew about it.

limonchik · 13/09/2009 13:39

I would be suprised if most 7 year olds had seen it - why would they? The documentaries that have been on recently about it have been on later in the evening.

There are plenty of unpleasant things in the world that children need to learn about - terrorism, war crimes, genocide. But they don't need to see footage of them in primary school when they are too young to understand the reasons, consequences and risks to themselves. It only serves to make their world an unsafe place.

I remember studying the holocaust in secondary school and being shown some harrowing film. But we were warned about the content and given an option of not watching.

SomeGuy · 13/09/2009 13:49

no 7 year old was born when it happened, why should they?

curiositykilled · 13/09/2009 13:49

YANBU - It's not her place to expose other people's children to her own emotions or political feelings in this way. She must have been feeling sad because of the anniversary but this was clearly inappropriate if not because of the subject matter then definitely because of the emotion.

BethNoire · 13/09/2009 14:14

YANBU

I've watched it with my boys at home and tlaked it through with them in a controlled environment where they knew what to expect before it came on, they had the chance to remove themselves and I ahd control of the off button if needed. Mine are 8 and 9, yr 4 and yr5, and I now they will encounter it soon. They did the holocaust last year, and I felt that was covered badly so wanted to be in control and for them to be in a safe environment. I didn't focus on the sheer numbers but id bring in a few personal stories- DH's clleaugue was trying to find his partner who worked there (he did find him) and I had a call at work from someone apologising for not coming in brecause her neighbours child was missing (they didnt find her).

I think it would be great if we could know when school were about to cover the holocaust etc so we can do a good intro at home (DS1 sat through a holocaust talk that mentioned disabled children in shock- he has SN) and I wuld strongly object to the incident if it happened as the OP's child said.

Actually I remember ds1 having nightamres about being kidnapped for ages- took us two years to get him back into his room- after the Head decided to discuss Madeleleine McCannin assembly also- so doubly want control.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 13/09/2009 14:22

Brain washing starts early these days, 11 more years and they can go shoot Iraqis too.

I would complain to the head TBH people jumping to their deaths to excape death by fire is not something 7 year olds need to see.

troutpout · 13/09/2009 14:26

oh my good god
I would be livid
(mind you, you are talking to a woman who made a formal complaint ds was shown the first Harry Potter film (a pg) in year 1 when he was 6)

purepurple · 13/09/2009 14:29

YANBU
Totally, totally wrong.
Complain, and very loudly.
Typical of an American to think the world revolves around them.

slowreadingprogress · 13/09/2009 14:34

bidi i totally disagree that it is amazing 7 yr olds haven't seen it. Luckily most people seem to have a sensible attitude to this. My 7 year old was in bed last night when 'The Falling Man' was on. Nobody could say anything which would convince me it is better for a 7 yr old to be watching an adult programme, on after the watershed, about this rather than tucked up safe in bed.

and no, i don't believe in shielding them from information about the world. I just believe in doing it in an age appropriate way and in terms which are for children to understand, not an adult documentary.