about my neighbours who don't work and interfere in my life all the time. Much needed rant.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

I'm pregnant, having a crappy time and have just spent a few days in hospital. I've got PND and docs won't give me my ADs as they don't agree with giving them to pregnant women so I might just be a little crazy at the moment.

Our neighbours are:
A man of about 55
A lady of about 55 (supposedly blind but I have seen her make observations like 'come in, you haven't got any shoes on [sees me standing there]... oh, I mean,errrm... has he got any shoes on?')
A lady of 22
A man of 24
A boy of 2
A girl of 1

They all live in a 3 bedroom house. The young couple tried to befriend us and when she mentioned that she's going to have 'lots more' babies, I asked why they don't get their own house rather than living with her PIL. She said 'oh no, when they eventually die, we get this house, so why move out?'

But that's true of anyone isn't it? I don't live with my mum or DH's mum in the hope that they'll pop their clogs.

Young man says he doesn't work as he 'has a bad back'. Rubbish. He picks up heavy things, and sits in smoking weed all day. He smokes it until 4 in the morning with his baby girl in the same bedroom. He boasts about this. He has his music playing loud while she's supposed to be sleeping. The kids don't go to bed until about 11pm. I have been in the house (when they collared me when I'd just moved in) and it is filthy.

Young woman has decided she wants me to be her 'best friend' despite the fact we have nothing in common. We felt obliged to invite them to our wedding do, so we posted an invitation and it had my number on for RSVP. Now she txts me all day every day asking me to be her maid of honor and things like that, wanting to know what noises things are, like our bed creaks (so sex is out as they are too nosey) and she asks me what that particular noise was and things like that.

She's a trained nursery nurse and yet she doesn't work, even though there are plenty of people in the house to look after the kids while she works, or she could look after the kids while they work.

She boasts that they get over £800 a month in DSS money. Yet they don't have a mortgage (the houses are ex-council but it's only on the edge of an ex-council estate so it's not rough) and young man's parents pay all the bills so that is purely disposable income. We pay a helluva lot per month on our mortgage, where as they got left the house by young man's nana when she died.

Now I could handle most of this if they didn't pry into our live all of the time. I don't see any reason for neighbours to interfere in each other's lives. They look in our windows, call round all the time asking for this that and the other, they txt constantly, if we leave our house they make boring gossipy conversation for up to an hour and everytime we say we have to leave they carry on talking. They gossip about everyone in the street and ask hundreds of personal questions about us. They have to know every knook and cranny of our lives.

They have mice all through their house, they have gotten into their attic and have now got through into ours (though they're not actually in our house IYSWIM). They came round for 2 hours just to tell us that they'd given us mice. Then txtd about it not stop for about 2 weeks. DH set lots of traps and they did, too. The mice were killed. Then they got environmental health, which is £10ish. They said we'd have to too, but because we both work, we are struggling to get a time when environmental health can come round and we'll be in. I have got a slot for a just over a weeks time.

Next door started bombarding me with txts about getting EV out and I explained the situation.

I went out to teach nightschool the other night, and DH was working late. My mum had come round to watch DS. As soon as I drove off, old man came round to give my mum and earfull about how we would have to get environmental health out, if they'd paid to have them out, we would have to too. Even though all the mice are dead.

I'm not bothered about the money, I just can't take time off work to wait in for them to come round! Neither to I have anyone who can come to mine and sit in waiting for them to come round, plus they only work 9-5 mon-fri.

Last night, I came home from hospital, still very poorly. Their music was unbearable and I have a very bad headache that makes me sick. DH went out to the car to get my tablets, and they all came out gossiping about some guy down the street. DH said he would have to come in to give me my tablets as I'd been in hospital and was poorly so they asked ten thousand prying questions about that- then they started going on and on about 'there's no point one side getting EV out if they other side arn't even going to bother. You're going to have to.' DH explained yet again that they are coming out, but we can't just get them out immediately as we HAVE TO WORK. They went on and on until he had enough and just came in.

They then spoke and laughed very loudly all night, kept waking DS up and I couldn't sleep for their noise. Today I feel even worse so looks like I'm going back into hospital again.

So a horrible night all round really.

I just do not want to live near them or want them in my life, and yet I can't afford to move.

All they do with their day is try to look in our house and wait for us to come home so that they can talk to us for ages. Young lady said to me that she knows the noise of our car so when she hears it, she waits on the doorstep for us to pull up.

So tired, emotional and down

Elmofan- it was pouring down, someone had parked outside our house, and mum parked outside their house whilst I ran out and put DS in the car. They happened to pull up as I was buckling him in and they were soooooooo angry.

I mean, what is with these people? I totally agree about this council house malarky. I regret moving to an ex council house. I just fell in love with it when I saw it, and it's only on the edge of the council estate- as in 3 doors up, it's not council anymore. So I thought it'd be ok. But they're set in their ways and have to live in each other's pockets.

Also, it's not even like we have drives, it's a public street FFS oh God you've started me on another rant now... lol.

Thanks flying, don't encourage the ranting though, feel like I could go on forever today

sorry totally&utterlypaninied , think i have hit a raw nerve over the parking issues i though it might be one of those estates that have parking spots allotted to each house .
anyone can park on a public road so ignore their rants , god it sounds like you have moved into a house with the neighbours from hell , try not get yourself too stressed out as its not good for you or the baby .

sorry elmo just so mad about that too. Oh how I love my street

i know its very hard to ignore them but you must try otherwise you will end up miserable , i am having problems with neighbours also & have decided to put our house up for sale , it should be on the market by next week , very similar problems to yours , & this was our dream home so am very about selling .

If people would only keep their noses in their own business eh? Don't think they realise that they're not centre of the universe.

Is it worth getting someone round to value your house? So you know for sure how much you'd lose if you moved? It might not be as much as you think - or it might be, but at least then you'd know.

Otherwise I think potoftea makes great suggestions.

It sounds hideous, so sorry for you x

if only we could pick up our houses & move to another street
maybe your new baby will give you a perfect excuse for not being able to chat etc as you will BE SOOOOOO busy looking after lo's
it really is best to make excuses & remain friendly as we had so much trouble with our neighbours that we ended up having a row with them now they dream up ways to annoy us .

Every night the play their music from about 8-9.30 or 10. We both start work very early so we're in bed by sort of 9-9.30 on work nights, especially since I've been pregnant. DS goes to bed at 6pm and gets up when we do.

They talk all night until about 4am and we get up between 5.30-6 to get ready for work.

The cheeky thing is, DS was waking for a bit in the night crying as he really was not used to the noise- so young lady next door suggested I put him to bed at about 10pm or 11pm.

What an idiot.

Also their kids are so unhappy, crying all the time. Their DD is obviously stoned all the time because he smoked weed next to her cot all night, and their DS is autistic so they leave him running around until really late at night making funny noises. Then he's up early. Surely he'd appreciate a routine?

smokes not smoked

Sounds absolutely hideous- I would definitely put it back on the market and just take the hit financially. You have my sympathy.

This does sound like a hideous situation, but I have to say that if I had mice in my attic and arranged for EH to come out I would be concerned if there was a risk of re-infestation from my neighbours and maybe they are right to badger you about it. The parking thing can be a nightmare we have kind of an unwritten rule in our street that we wouldn't park outside our neighbours houses even if the spot outside our house was taken.

And I'm going to say this very gently because I understand that you are going through a difficult time at the moment, but autistic children can be very difficult to get into a routine and can run around making funny noises until late at night which must be hard for the parents whatever the circumstances. As for all the other stuff, their lifestyle - wanting to be involved in neighbours lives is how they want to live, it's not wrong just not your choice. The drug taking can obviously not be condoned and I would have concerns about the little girl.

I missed the autistic bit- where's that?

Totally's second to last post says that neighbours DS is autistic.

Oh, I see. Poor kids. But yes, it can be tough- my autistic dd sleeps badly. I definitely wouldn't entertain the idea of looking after her stoned though.

My guess is the nursery lass doesn't work becuase there's something else going onnthere- she sounds a ittle lacking either in mental health or some kind of social disorder. I typed that before I saw the later post about autism- you know that traits of that can be genetic yes? As someone fairly heavily immersed in the ASD world, it was the first thing I thought about the moises and 'stalking'.

The partner should get work though I feel,asuming the weed is not a painkiller and that's pretty charitable to even consider it, give the likelihood.

It's up to them if they wish to sahre with their parents of course, but they shouldn't be making life a pita for you

I ahev to back up the autism bit which appeared later, as autistic children (have 2) do often have sleep disorders that sound very similar yto your brief description and you could easiloy be describing my DS1. it's likely that one aprent is a registered carer as well and exhausted which is understandable through my own experiences.

But there is no excuse for smoking weed near a baby. Ever.

Not all council estates are like that, the one I grew up on wasn't, but some are I know.

A lot of it sounds like bad luck due to incompatible lifestyles I think. Must be really ahrd for you all. I'm just coming out of a 12 hour migraine (I know I shouldnt be typing, won'yt help a bit) and can't imagine how awful it must be for you to have that longer term.

On what might be a slightly nasty note, you could always call the police and say you can smell a funny smell from next door which may at least stop him smoking weed around his little one, can't believe some people do that.

If you do have Environmental health coming round it may be worth having a word with them about the noise levels, you'll have to keep a diary about when and how long the noise goes on for, which seems like a serious chore when you're tired and run down (Never mind suffering from PND) but you'll need evidence to back up any complaints you may wish to make.

On the sex note, why not make as much noise as possible and then when she asks just say you were having sex, without blushing, hopefully she'll be embarassed enough to but out a bit, and if they whole neighbourhood finds out you have a normal healthy sex life is it really the end of the world?
(obviously avoid any animal type noises during your session )

You really do have my sympathy - I would hate that.

Is this what council estates are like in places? My mum lives on a HA estate, it is nothing like that. Mind you people do huff and puff about parking (but everywhere is like that imo).

The horrible thing is is that you probably can't now stop speaking to them, if you cut them and ignore their phone calls they will probably become really hostile and make your life even more of a misery. I would absolutely hate your predicament, and tbh I don't think it is too dramatic to say sell up and move the hell out of there. It is bound to get worse, not better.

I could not live somewhere where neighbours were part of my life, I never see mine, thank god, and have no desire to be friends with them.

err TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied i've always lived in a council house when i was younger and we didnt live up eachothers arses thanks !!

Do you have any experiance of autistic children?

It does sound like a terrible situation and TBH if i knew the house was filthy and the bloke smoked weed all day next to a baby i would be phoning social services.

I also live on a council estate and we certainly are not like that!!!! Although I do know a lo of people on our esate are like that iykwim!!!

Good grief they sound like a nightmare!

I agree with the other posts that you should limit the time they have to talk, but appear neighbourly at the same time. I had some neighbours who were similar and could talk the hind legs of a donkey, but in the end the only thing you could do was just to end the conversation in an assertive way and walk off (usually whilst they were still talking!).

Don't answer the texts at all or even better get your mobile number changed if you can. Limit the irritation to you as much as possible and start to make enquiries about moving. Be very careful about starting disputes or making official complaints as you may find you are obliged to declare them if you sell.

In the end we had to sell to get away from our neighbours and tbh although we now live in a much smaller house I'm VERY glad we did it.