to want to throw in the towel, give up my FT job and go on benefits because I just can't do it anymore?

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

I mean, I can't cope with working full time and trying to be a half decent parent to my daughter.

I am always knackered. Seriously how-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-get-through-another-day knackered. I never have enough money anyway, and the house is a mess because I have no time or energy to clean it.

DD's after school reading / homework / recorder practice never get done. I have never been able to consistently give her the attention and support that she needs and I feel so guilty about it. She has some problems with learning and really struggles at school. I am constantly battling with the school to try to help her. But she needs my help too.

And I hate the way my job's changed in recent years too. I work in social care and feel that it's moving further and further away from trying to support people and is now all about saving the Council money. They don't get good value from me anyway, because I'm so unmotivated and tired (although I still love working with my clients and trying to improve things for them - it's just that the opportunities to actually do that are dwindling because there's so much paperwork and politicking).

I need a year or two off to catch my breath and work out what I need to do in the future to give us both a decent quality of life.

Would jacking it all in make me a benefits scrounging scumbag?

Oh god I could have written your post OP. I am in desperate straits work wise, to the point where it is seriously affecting my emotional and mental wellbeing. I am not the mother or wife I want to be, and I simply hate every minute of every day in this job. It would halve our income if I leave but dh is being unbelievably supportive and just wants me to be happy. We have a few serious decisions to try and work through, not least of which is potential childcare given that ours are pre full time school. But in your position, if as a family you can still manage finacially if you take that year or two out, then I would say definately do it - I'm incredibly envious! I too just feel as if I need some time to catch my breath, find the right headspace, whatever you want to call it. I need to work out what the hell I want in life and then work up the courage to try and get it.

Good luck moist, really hope you can work this out, I know exactly where you are coming from.

I think you should look at working 16 hours per week, then you can get tax credits.

You could potentially go self-employed, that way you can be very flexible with hours and 'preparation'-type work will count towards the 16 hours. Things like childminding would probably fit in better with your life as well.

custardo speaks sense. go part-time, protect your pension, cv etc. most councils support working school hours.

LM is right. You can't just jack it in because you won't be eligible for IS and if you leave voluntarily you won't be elible for JSA, either.

Hope you go for part-time and get it!

Can you retrain while you're on benefits and do something that allows you more time at home in the long term? You've probably got a good foundation in counselling which might pay less but involve less bureaucracy and more flexible hours?

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I faced the same situation as you. The Decision I made in the end was to get a job in school. I took a massive pay cut, but WFTC made up for most of it, and I was able to to all the SAHM tuff while sstill working. I did it for three years.

It was challenging at times, but I am glad I made that choice, for ds. Now he doesn't need me so much I am striking out on something new. But I just remember the years previously putting ds into nursery at 8, picking him up at six, a two hour commute every day....ack. It was awful.

"I do not think Income support should be available to those with school age children, there is no reason why parents (even single parents) cannot work once their kids are in full time education."

How lucky for you that there's lots of part time jobs in your area that either don't need wrap around care, or have easy to find wrap-around care.

at to be fair to the OP - although I think part-time if she can get it would be the best - her reasons for thinking about it are not just to have a tidy house and to "spend more time with her DD".

She says her DD has problems with learning and struggles at school - so perhaps there are SEN which haven't been sorted out.

But always (when are you going back to one of your old names?), JSA is available for those looking to work. Single non-working parents of 8 years olds will not be without any money at all, but they will have to sign on and jump through the necessary Job Seekers Agreements hoops.

Overall I think that the law change will be a good thing if only because it will continue to highlight the fact that there is little family friendly work/childcare available in some areas.

I don't blame the OP at all for this, I don't see how any single parent can work full-time. When my dh was working away from home mon-fri, I didn't seek a job at all, just cos I could see how very frustrating it would all become, rushing from work to child, never quite catching up. But I was lucky, dh earned enough that I didn't have to, altho' I got very bored and frustrated with being at home some times (went on for 3 years). I couldn't find anything parent friendly enough that didn't demean my skills (altho' of course, if money had been a problem, I would have taken part-time work, no matter how down-skilled it was).

Now I'm planning how to manage a new 30 hr per week job, and even tho dh is home again I'm worried about fitting things together.

No, if you can afford to, give your time and effort to your dd, rather than a job which frustrates you.

Agree BTW that if you can persuade your employer to offer P/T, it might help you to meet the demands at both ends.

yes and the OP has said she wants to stop working now so she can find a new route to pursue. So could be looking (or if she decides to retrain train) for work and claim JSA quite legitimately.

She doesn't say "I want to sit on my arse and not think about working again".

To me her OP reads "I'm fed up of my line of work and want to do something different" not that she just wants to sit on her arse.

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It is hard working and being a parent and sometimes it gets harder before getting easier, but usually it is worth it and not just financially.

My dp is away for a few days this week and I am so stressed trying to imagine how I am going to juggle my job and simply ensure dd gets fed never mind anything else.

I can remember feeling like the worst parent in the world when I first went back to teaching part time and then when I went full time it was a nightmare. Even now things get forgotten , I am always forgetting to return letters etc.

I've seen 2 - that's right 2 jobs that fit in with school hours in 8 months of looking (not particularly for me - rather looking at jobs for DH - who obviously can work any hours but with a slight interest for myself should I see anything that looks interesting enough). Those 2 jobs both required specific experience.

So you have good family support - and evidently after school, before school and holiday clubs in your area.

If I wanted to work next summer holidays and put my DS's in holiday clubs - I would have had to have got their names down by last summer - and then there may have been places available.

What's to say the OP won't be working hard at re-training to do something else?

It's a funny old world we live in isn't it.

Person in 2 income family says "I'm utterly fed up with my line of work, going to give it up and look for something else, it's going to be a struggle but we'll get more tax credits" people say "well if you can manage it go for it - you sound really miserable"

Lone parent says "I'm utterly fed up with my line of work" and they get told tough shite (well ok not quite tough shite but there does seem to be a slight lack of empathy.

Ooh ive tried to stay away from this thread but cant help myself.

Some of us would love to give up work because our houses are like shit tips, I'd love to spend hours helping with homework and give my kids oodles of non tired attention.
But we cant do it. DH works full time and I also work full time, although am on maternity leave now with no.3. I will have to return to work after baby comes although hopefully doing slightly less than full time hours.
We dont qualify for WFTC because DH earns good money, and so do I suppose, but we still both have to work so that we can live a decent life, in a decent house in a decent area. We are by no means well off or rolling in it.
Your dd is 7 fgs, surely if you wanted to give maximum input you should have thought about it before she started full time school. What will you do for 6.5 hours a day whilst your dd is in school.

I have been a single parent, and I worked full time. There are options out there, childminders/after school clubs/holiday clubs/other parents/ friends etc etc.

Life isnt easy, its bloody hard, Im usually tired and my house is certainly not spotless. Going on benefits is not a lifestyle choice, its for those people who cannot work or find themselves in dire circumstances and shouldnt be abused

i totally sympathise and your DD does need you for homework, recorder practice and to make her lunches and all the other things that are proving just too much with your current schedule.

BUT there's a massive difference between working 40hrs and not working at all, i think you should look to reduce your hours - a day at home to sort out your family life so you can spend more time with your DD in the evenings and weekends is also likely to give you more enthusiasm for your job when you are there.

Morosky that is true to a degree of it getting easier, not just financially, however it sounds to me like the OP has been working in social work for several years and the work is getting harder and much less "social" and more "money saving".

By getting easier over time I mean you find ways of making it work, or you just lower your standards

I was discussing this very topic with a colleague on the way home from work - we are just teachers. I find the balance very hard and just do not know how people in "normal" jobs do it, and as for single parents I take my hat off to you.

Until recently my daughter had to use wrap around care from 8 in the morning until 6 in the evening. SHe was bundled in the car at half six in the morning and drove to her grandparents so I could be at my desk for 6.45 and dp could commute in. We hated it and felt we had no quality of life as a family. We worked very hard as a family unit to get ourselves in a position where dp could work from home so he could almost be a SAHP.

I know I am very very lucky to have a job I adore and a dp who runs the show at home. I am reluctant to have a pop at anyone who does not have those advantages.

Always, you seem to be trying to guess the position of the OP an awful lot. I'm sure if you gave her room she could answer for herself, and perhaps we could come up with suggestions. I'm guessing that if she works full time then she probably has access to some sort of childcare.

If of course she is working FT without childcare, well this will be an interesting thread!

I do sympathise. I find it hard to be a FT working mum and I have DH to help out. Life IS hard though, and I don't agree with packing your job in to make it easier. To me, benefits are there to help people who CAN'T work, not to give people an easier life. I'm no expert, but as others have said, you wouldn't be entitled to anything anyway if you quit.

I agree with others, it's worth investigating working less hours and seeing what TC you are entitled to. Other than that, maybe take a few days off to catch up with all the jobs round the house while dd is at school. Do a bit of batch cooking, or investigate quick dinner recipes. I guess the house has to slip if you want to dedicate more time to dd.

Can you look round for another job that doesn't drain you quite so much? I know that if you hate your job, it makes you feel so much worse, and more tired, and more frustrated.

'yes and the OP has said she wants to stop working now so she can find a new route to pursue. So could be looking (or if she decides to retrain train) for work and claim JSA quite legitimately.'

You had to have left your job involuntarily in order to get JSA, even contribution-based, OR be on income-based because you do not have adequate NI contributions (due to youth or having been out of work for a long period).

Otherwise, your claim for JSA will be rejected.

As it's not meant for people who are fed up with work and want to take a break.

Even if you are sacked, it's possible for your JSA claim to be rejected.

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