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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to request a 'trial' day at our local state school?

68 replies

thedolly · 06/09/2009 11:50

Do people do this?

I started a thread recently about moving my DC from Prep/PrePrep to the local state schools and had lots of useful comments.

I have spoken to the schools that we are interested in and will make an appointment to see the Head/s and look around.

It is the norm in the private sector for children to spend a day at the school they are planning to attend to make sure it feels 'right' for them.

So, do people do this in the state sector or AIBU?

OP posts:

AramintaCane · 06/09/2009 19:28

thedolly din't you move out of a state school to prep not long ago becasue of a bully. Are you moving back again ?

AramintaCane · 06/09/2009 19:29

sorry about the typos

Original poster

thedolly · 06/09/2009 19:32

No AramintaCane - thankfully we haven't encountered bullying yet.

OP posts:

justabouteatingchocolate · 06/09/2009 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AramintaCane · 06/09/2009 19:34

What about that little girl who shouted baby at your dd whilst she was getting a piggy back from your husband.

Original poster

thedolly · 06/09/2009 19:45

You're making it up now aren't you Araminta?

OP posts:

AramintaCane · 06/09/2009 19:50

ha ha very funny some people don't forget threads like that.

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 06/09/2009 19:53

I think, on balance, asking your DCs to keep a secret is potentially more damaging to them than risking disrupting other children.

It's very nice and considerate of you, but they have parents who can pick up the pieces of any upset they may feel.

The most important consideration for you, IMO, is the peace of mind of your DCs, and I think you'll find that they've seen others leave themselves, so don't necessarily see it as a huge deal at this stage.

Of course, it becomes a different matter entirely when they're faced with the reality of going in to school without their friends, but that's another bridge to be crossed as and when.

MissSunny · 06/09/2009 20:24

Message withdrawn

madamearcati · 06/09/2009 20:36

My Dcs spent a day at their new state school before we made the switch from their previous state school but we had ben offered and accepted a place by that time.

Original poster

thedolly · 06/09/2009 20:36

I missed that thread - it definitely wasn't me

Actually it wasn't me.

OurLady - What is damaging about asking DC to keep a secret? I simply suggested that they don't go around telling people so early on in the term. Obviously if one of them slips up it doesn't matter.

There was a time last year when we thought we might be relocating to Paris. DD told her best friend who promptly cried .

OP posts:

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 06/09/2009 21:43

Sorry, damaging is too strong a word - difficult, maybe.

As I said, you're much nicer than me as, while I'd hate to think of friends being upset, I was more concerned about DS struggling with the secret - but it doesn't sound as if you're making a big deal of it, so ignore me.

asdx2 · 06/09/2009 23:47

My daughter did a week of extended visits (9.30 til 2) with no obligation on either side before she moved schools. The fact that the head was confident and open enough to let my daughter and myself see how the school "worked" reassured me that it was the right school for my daughter and she is very happy there. I see no harm in asking tbh.

Original poster

thedolly · 07/09/2009 13:14

Was this a state school asdx2?

A week is certainly long enough to get a 'feel' for the place.

I'm glad it worked out well for you both.

OP posts:

asdx2 · 07/09/2009 17:12

Yes a local state primary with a very well respected head.
Was removing dd from her original primary because of a poor teacher. Explained all my worries and how I had to be sure that it was the right one and he offered there and then a week of extended visits with no obligation.
Took him up on the offer and Lucy started the following week after he pushed through the admissions process so that she didn't have to return to her old school.

Original poster

thedolly · 07/09/2009 19:13

That sounds like good service asdx - I bet you wished you'd sent her there in the first place .

Just how bad was the teacher?

OP posts:

asdx2 · 07/09/2009 19:42

Just about as bad as it gets tbh. Bearing in mind the school has an outstanding foundation unit so the majority of children leave with very high profile scores my daughter was 105.
She was dropping a sublevel each term as were all the children.
Said teacher had had a class removed from her in previous years because of emotionally bullying her pupils and was assigned to PPA cover only but because of staff shortages she was given dd's class.
In previous years she singlehandedly managed to have parents remove around 25% of her class. When I removed dd 3 pupils out of 18 had been removed (yr 1 and 2 mixed)
Why is she still teaching? A strong union knowledge a poor headteacher and a weak governing body.
Lucy was self harming, nightmares, wetting beds, migraines etc I thought she was having a nervous breakdown.
I ended up just removing her and looking round, school informed educational welfare who refused to take action because it wasn't safe for Lucy to be in school and I looked round dozens of schools.
Opted for the one that was happy to let me see everything and so happy I have.
Spoke to another parent in the holidays who told me not one child achieved the average level in her class at the end of the year and they and others too are looking for schools.

Original poster

thedolly · 07/09/2009 20:10

Goodness that is truly awful asdx2. At least now you are in a position to recommend a good school to others in the same situation.

OP posts:

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