to request a 'trial' day at our local state school?

[thedolly]

Do people do this?

I started a thread recently about moving my DC from Prep/PrePrep to the local state schools and had lots of useful comments.

I have spoken to the schools that we are interested in and will make an appointment to see the Head/s and look around.

It is the norm in the private sector for children to spend a day at the school they are planning to attend to make sure it feels 'right' for them.

So, do people do this in the state sector or AIBU?

oh I missed out on quoting the "do people do this in the state sector" part - that was the amusing bit

a little Hyacinth Bouquet cum Margot Leadbetter

I don't think the OP is acting like she thinks state schools are the work of the devil!!! She has said she is sure she will like it!!!

My ds moved from steiner to state primary, once we had a plave the primary school let him do one afternoon a week for half a term when he was still at steiner to settle in, which was really great for him

franklymydear if you read the thread you would see that some people do.

I don't think there's any harm in asking.

And bibbity, I think you are being a little harsh on the OP. My ds goes to an excellent state school but my sister's boy had a nasty shock at one that was highly rated by Ofsted and parents desperate to move into catchment. The school was cracking the whip so hard he came back with three pieces of homework on his first day in reception, and it got worse and worse. When my sister went in to discuss this, she saw a reception-age child who was clearly lost in the corridor - a succession of adults walked past him, it was an older child who stopped and looked after him.

It is worth asking and while they may say no for now, by October the other kids may have been in a routine long enough that they could accommodate you. Really don't get the negative stuff on here, our independent definitely have the kids in before a commitment on either side is made, particularly for those not part of a mass entry.

Thanks LIZS and others.

I was thinking around October time too.

I think half-term at the current school may be longer that at the local primary so they wouldn't have to have time off.

I'll have to check the dates.

I will definitely miss the long holidays.

In Scotland this is normal for kids changing schools going from primary to secondary school. My kids went to the local state secondary for a couple of days with their primary school and went for a day at the local private school.

OP- it's definitely worth asking.
My DD attends a state school in a local village and DS will start there on Monday. They offer 'settling in days' to all children who have accepted places. There are four new children joining DD's class (yr3) and they have all spent a whole day there. However, I doubt they would be able to offer this unless you are actually intending to take up the place. As far as I know, this wouldn't be any different in the private sector.
I think you need to assess the school in exactly the same way that you assessed the pre school the currently attend. State schools vary in the same way that private schools do (some excellent, others v poor). Don't be put off by lack of space/ older equipment because, imo, it is the quality of the teaching and the general atmosphere is more important.
I would look for things like:
-The general atmosphere of the school
-The headmaster/ headmistress (so important)
-How happy the children look, whether they are concentrating, how stimulated they look in class
-Interaction between the children and the staff, between the children and between the members of staff.
-content of the lessons and work on display.
It's difficult to say what you should ask the head as everyone has slightly different priorities depending on their child/ children. I would try to ask q's to help understand the above things.

Thank you so much for that loobylu3.

Yes, you are probably right about securing a place first.

No problems Dolly!
Also really worth speaking to parents locally.

My children go to a small (52 children) village school and the one thing I would be asking is d they have good links with other primarys and the secondary school they would be moving to. Small schools often lack in expert teachers and to make up for it our school has excellent links with other schools and in the juniors the high school maths and science teachers visit for booster and special classes. Also pe can be lacking for this we also visit the high school once a week to use their equipment. School trips are often shared with other schools. In years 5 and 6 the children visit the high school for science days and special art days and it gives them a huge confidence boost when moving up. This year only 4 children from year 6 went to high school so they have been kept together. Small schools can be excellent teaching children manners and social skills they can excell in other areas but they are different to larger schools so it is worth asking how they deal with the lack of children for sports etc. and mixed classes.

We asked for a couple of settling in days when we moved ds from private to state, and it was refused - apparently for insurance reasons. (This is in central belt Scotland). He eventually started officially on the last day of the previous term, so at least had met his teacher and a couple of other kids before he started for real.

I have since discovered that they do a lot more to help in the move to secondary, but we were out of luck!

In all honesty, the school did not handle the social side generally terribly well, and he had a very tough time settling in. We have just moved him back to private, and the process has been very much kinder and more thoughtful of ds feelings and needs. So far it is also paying dividends in making him feel part of the group and settled.

danthe4th - it's a 5-9 school with 66 on the roll so I am sure there will be mixed year group classes.

neversaydie - I had wondered about insurance.

We were offered this at our state primary when moving DS2 from private last half term.

It's a small village school without a waiting list, which I think probably allows for more flexibility in that respect.

DS (aged 8) actually declined the offer; I think he felt resigned to leaving his friends already, and didn't want to miss any of the time he had left - and he'd already decided he liked the school and the added benefit of being able to walk there.

I don't think the Head would think you mad for asking - I do think this is ultimately your decision and not your DCs', though - but I can understand your wanting everyone to be happy with it.

Nice to be offered it OurLady - it was DD's idea (having done it in the past).

I love the idea of walking to school but unfortunately our 'local' school is a 10 minute car journey away. Still, it's better than the 30 minutes that I do at the moment.

How has your DS settled in (if you don't mind me asking)?

I think it very much depends on how you play it - if you do it in terms of "I want my children to see if they like it before we decide if we want a place", then that might not go down very well. If it's a case of accepting a place there, and then the DCs going in for a settling in day, then that's fine. IMO, if you do the former, that's quite arrogant. And potentially confusing for the DCs.

I think I was trying to say the same thing as KembleTwins.
We were offered the trial after we'd agreed to take up a place, but as I said DS didn't want it.

He's settled in fine (thanks for asking!). Everyone has been kind and welcoming, and he enjoys his status as being good at football, although we had some awful heartbreakingly wobbly moments at the start, when he was basically grieving his old friends.

OurLady - how frequently did you remind him that he was going to be changing schools before he actually made the move?

So far (although it's only been a few days) I've been reminding mine daily as they come out of school enthusing about how great their new teachers are and what a fab day they've had.

I feel sad each time we drive away from the school but at the same time I am excited (as are they) about our new forthcoming chapter.

I don't think it was ever a matter of deliberately 'reminding' him as such.
I probably said things like 'it'll be great when we can walk to school,' and he would sometimes take the dog for a walk to the school playground with his sister.
And then you've got things like popping in to sort out uniform, so the subject seemed to crop up quite frequently without making a big thing of it - which I'm sure is what you're doing.
Of course, we always stressed we'd keep in touch with his old friends.

When did you tell other people/friends at the school that you were leaving?

I've told my eldest to keep it a secret for now, at least until her BF settles in to her new class.

I didn't actually tell him to keep it secret - I thought that the best way for him to deal with it would be to tell people in his own time as and when he wanted to.

I told one of his best friends' mums when it cropped up - she was saying how lovely it was that the boys were such good friends and I felt like a heel - and the other one found out when her DS mentioned it to her.

While we were going through our period of uncertainty and were on 'conditional notice,' I did ask the Head for confidentiality, purely because his older brother had to fend off snide remarks from teachers when he was leaving a year ago, and we didn't want to risk the same thing happening again.

I don't think that you can ask or expect a primary age child to keep that sort of secret. All that will happen is the usual chinese whispers in the school playground which will be unfair on your children in the longrun.

I think that once you've made a decision then you should be upfront about it.

I wouldn't lie if asked but I wouldn't broadcast the fact that we are leaving either as I do thing it would be disruptive for the other children. I have explained this to my DC and they seem OK with the idea.

It will probably leak out in due course which is OK too.

It is not the norm in the private sector to spend a day to see if the school is right for them.

What is the norm is for a child who has already accepted a place to spend a day there the term before they start, usually as part of the schools moving up day or similar when everyone spends a day in their next class.

Or fore private schools to hold taster days for prospective children but these will be carefully structured days with planned activities on offer, not a normal school day.

DD has attended taster days at three schools - all before we had accepted a place.