to want SOME control over packed lunches?

[kinderfool]

DD's (6yo) first day back at school today and she was a bit nervous about her new class so in her packed lunch, besides her drinks bottle, ham sandwich, a plum, piece of cheese (proper cheese not cheese spread or something) and a box of cherry tomatoes (at least 10 or more), I put in a Kinder egg (a massive treat for her) to cheer her up.

Comes to pick up and she'd had a reasonable day but was anxious to tell me she'd really wanted to eat her egg but hadn't been allowed. Checked her lunch bag expecting that she'd tried to eat that first and been stopped but after checking first and asking her, found out she'd eaten every crumb of everything else and had one little bite of choc before the TA watching stopped her. And it wasn't as if certain things aren't allowed, there's no nut allergy notifications at her school, and no set down rules about what can/can't be brought.

Now I completely sympathise with the need to crack down on kids who get a lunch of Coke, crisps and chocolate AND would completely understand if it was the toy they'd objected to (but dd was told by me she could eat the egg but not to even open the toy bit, to bring it home with her instead and knowing her she'd have repeated this parrot-style to the TA), but this just seems completely overboard for the first day.

As far as I can see, what I sent her with is a balanced meal so as long as it stays that way it should be of no concern to anyone else what I want her to eat. Plus she's a skinny little thing (thanks to never staying still) so the very last thing I need is someone putting ideas into her head that it's only ever acceptable to eat uber-healthy foods.

AIBU to, in a very polite and reasonable way, tell the TA to keep her nose out?

"If some give their kids 'junk' food then the all kids might up the pestering forcing parents to say 'no'"

I made exactly that point earlier but it was dimissed as something that doesn't actually happen.

For my part, I am quite capable of saying 'no' to my dc and do so regularly, but quite frankly I can do with the unnecessary aggravation

'without'

i think there fair and right to say no choc at school blanket rule means everyone,
but to the OP you were being nice to your child i bet it made her smile to know mummy thought about her, well before it was taken away.
also some people say at the end of the week or something they have to have choc bar and crisps theres nothing else
we dont buy it full stop if it isnt there and your child never eats it there not going to miss it are they
our school jam sandwiches are banned i kid you not .
my boys take bento boxes theyve never had unhealthy food and much prefer carrot sticks and humous anytime.
im on ML right now i am a teacher and we do not actually make the rules here we just have to abide by them.
sometimes as silly as they are.

disneystar - are you a teacher?

Hopefully, not of any subject that includes punctuation.

at Pikelit's rudeness

PMSL

try a biscuit next time, I put a cookie or something biscuit-like as a treat of DS is struggling/having a low time at school, as a little pick me up, I suppose a kinder egg is defo in the sweet category and if they let it go with one child and they go home and say sweets are allowed it opens a whole can of worms, so the TA was right.

lol @ Pikelit......

yes i am a teacher, and no im not putting much effort into my typing and you should see my text messages there even worse
but in my defense im not speaking to a bunch of kids am i

i didnt realise we had to put punctuation marks in and be oh so properly correct here on ol MN {shock]

lightshinesinthedarkness yes i am but on maternity leave right now well extended as sadly i have terminally ill baby son, his big op is in november and if all goes well you never know i may go back but right now my son is way more important

'There is absolutely no shame in having the odd treat be it at home or in public! IME when you have to hide to eat some foods it is quite worrying!

It isn't a question of hiding it. The whole point is that the school day is short, it is very easy to fit in with the school policy and then serve what ever you like later (in public or private-which ever you wish).

I think it much fairer for the DC to have a simple rule for all. It can hardly be fair to the DC, if Tom is told, 'your choc bar is fine because you have a well balanced lunch box' but Harry gets his taken off him and his mum gets called in to say that she needs educating on nutrition. All that Harry understands is that Tom can have one but he can't!
I think that sometimes parents who know that they produce and excellent diet (of course all children need fats and sugars in moderation),could do something for the common good-instead of saying 'I'm alright-I don't care that a proportion of the class are obese and my 'rights' are more important.
It is such a simple rule and so easy to do. If it stops one DC having just monstermunch and chocolate in his lunch box it is worth it IMO.

i agree, I think a chocolate rule is wrong, but a kinder egg is a strange and misguided thing to put in a lunch box

i don't even think they should say it's ok if the rest of your lunch box is ok

they should just allow it, it's not even that bad for you

crisps and sweet yoghurts and all that stuff much worse, everybody knows that now

I don't think there can be anything much worse that just salty snacks and chocolate. I don't think that you have seen the contents of some lunch boxes mmrsceptic!

no have never inspected

the rules are weird though

I am against being told what to put in, but I think it perfectly reasonable to be told what to leave out. I don't see that it is much different from saying 'no glass bottles'.

okay i havent read all of these posts as i was rediculasly surprised by some of the posts at beginging
a kinder egg is rediculasly minimal on chocolate and a nice treat for first day at school
the TA had no reason to say she was not aloud it
being alot younger than most people posting on here i asume that most of you cannot remeber lunch time at primary school?
white bread with some form of prosessed rubbish inbetween, crisps, chocolate bar, yoghurt filled with addatives and an apple which was never eaten
so really whats the big deal?
kinderfools daughter had a balanced lunch box

gahh OTT wrapping in cotton wool much?

I'm not convinced that 'no sweets' is on a par with 'no glass bottles'.

I am sure that some parents think they have a 'right' to use glass bottles juuule!

The whole thing is very trivial! Not taking those things isn't going to hurt and may do general good. Parents have the 'right' to keep their DCup to midnight on a school night-it doesn't mean that it is a good thing or desirable!

It's different,though. A broken glass bottle can be a danger to others and the school is not being unreasonable to not allow dangerous items into school. I'm still not convinced that sweets fall into that category.

"stubborn intransigence based on a feeling of being somehow victimised"
clemette, this is so not what this is about.

The difference is that, while I wish to be able to make decisions, within my remit as my dd's mother, that have no significant impact on other people without interference from other sources and I am content to allow others to do the same with their dc, it seems to me that you and some others will not be content until everyone is forced to do things in one way and one way only.

Those of your who support the idea of banning, for example, chocolate from packed lunches, ask yourself why you care what my child eats assuming there is no evidence that my child is suffering?

me thinking is there more things to worry about lol

I dont care about the ban, my posts have been in support of the school's right to ban. As a non-conformist in various areas of life it has elicited a wry smile that you assume I want everyone to live one way only - it is ahuge leap to assume that those who work within education and help implement policy are unable to question/challenge authority.
But I do see the damage done to the children of some who are determined to fight the school over every little issue (and chocolate in the lunchbox us a very little issue). Demonstrate to your children how to fight for the things that really matter and you will help raise runded citizens; teach them to take on institutions simply because you don't like bring told what to do and you do them a disservice.

God, I feel sorry for schools.

Kids are in school for 1188 hours per year. That leaves 7572 hours for parents to feed them whatever the hell they want.

For the 1188 hours, there are rules. Live with it.

I feel sorry for the OP who was just trying to do a nice thing for her DD but, to all those of you who think some fundamental human right is being breached by depriving your kids of trans-fats for 6.25 hours per day, get a sense of perspective! Schools are not in a position to do a full nutritional analysis of a lunchbox, then assess your child for malnutrition (it is perfectly possible to be malnourished but a normal weight), then decide whether your DC can have its Bourbon biccie.

I'm all for questioning authority where genuine harm is being done, but I agree with Clemette that we are getting to a stage where schools will not be able to function. If you are sensible enough to give your child a balanced diet, be glad and don't undermine schools' attempts to stop other, less aware parents from giving their kids crap.

I agree fully jybay.

I think that it is sad that families have become such 'islands' instead of part of the community.

The overall attitude seems to be 'my child comes from a loving family and has a good balanced diet and if I want to include chocolate in the school lunch box it is my right-stuff poor Johnny who comes from a dysfunctional family whose parents have no idea (and don't care)about nutrition. I couldn't care less that he has total junk in his lunch box-I'm not going to help the school improve matters'.

They want to carry on with their 'rights' and leave it to the school to call in poor Johnny's mum and tell her that everyone else can manage a well balanced luch box and they expect her to do the same.
Poor Johnny's mum doesn't like this and tells the school what to do with their lunch box! Nothing has been achieved-except to make Johnny's mum even more anti authority.

It is such a little thing to do. The school is making a suggestion, that is as sensible as no glass bottles, it doesn't cost anyone anything to put every child's general nutrition before your 'rights'.

The whole thing is trivial. There are much more important things to worry about in your DC's education.

Not to mention that whilst little Johnny is bouncing off the walls and failing to concentrate due to an overload of Es, the education of little Jocasta-from-a-nice-home is being disrupted as well.