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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

so i called the police.

78 replies

usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 21:07

Following on from my previous thread about my teenage dog sitter taking the piss..

Basically discovered my almost 15 yr old dog walker had been in my house, gone thru my cupboards (with a friend i already banned from my home) stolen a bottle of gin, beers and a bottle of brandy. I had it out with him and his mum gave him a telling off (of sorts)

Since discovered my kids piggy bank has been emptied of all but the coppers, tens and twenties. Gutted.

I rang the other boys parnets and they said they didn't see how their son could be involved and had an awful tone.

So i rang the police who said we were within our rights to charge them but we decided a talking to would be ample.

I feel bad for my neighbour but i feel like i've been burgled and to be honest she did little more than get upset and say she was worried about him and he was still being a little cocky for my liking during our 'chat'.

Was i out of order invoving the police?? I hope it gives him enough of a fright to put him on the straight and narrow.

OP posts:
deaddei · 03/09/2009 00:01

Good for you- cocky little shit.
Hopefully it's made him think a bit about his actions.
Just hope you don't get any repercussions from his parents.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 03/09/2009 00:04

slarty his parents are approachable. I did approach them, i felt his mother was more upset than pissed off,it was like 'oh son you need to talk to me open up to me blah blah blah' maybe i'm just old school but i would never have stolen as a teen because a) i knew it was wrong and b) my parents would have kicked the shit out of me. There was none of the 'o dear poor you whats going on in our house' and i was always honest and respectful.

OP posts:
hmc · 03/09/2009 00:09

I wouldn't have called the police. I would have explained that I required the teenager (not his parents) to replace the money and alcohol and write a letter of apology. Only if this was not complied with would I call the police.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 03/09/2009 00:16

I'm not worried about having the alcohol replaced or having a letter of apology, i want the 2 boys to realise that what they did is in no uncertain terms WRONG.

The parents of the boy we know were upset but didn't actually offer us an apology as such, the other boys parents were just bloody rude and actually his mother rang me and left a snotty message on my phone saying 'i've been asked to ring you so that is what i'm doing' Cheeky cow, would be a dif story if some tear away had gone thru her house taking what they fancied!

OP posts:
hmc · 03/09/2009 00:22

Absolutely - what they did was very wrong....not disagreeing at all. I meant that wouldn't call the police, instead in the first instance I would look for evidence of their contrition and making amends ( a letter of apology and replacing the items from their own money) - but of course if that contrition was not forthcoming (and it seems that this is unlikely) the police would be my next step

mathanxiety · 03/09/2009 06:35

YANBU. You were burgled. I pity the boys, seemingly without much in the way of parents, but maybe this brush with the law will have some effect?

PM73 · 03/09/2009 08:58

YANBU,i think you have handled it very well.

You told him he was not to have anyone else in the house & he disobeyed you,he stole from your children which is abhorent.

Have you checked everywhere else? Oh & i would also get new toothbrushes just in case,as he sounds horrible.

Could you ask one of your dc's friends Mums to let your dog out from now on? Whereabouts in the country are you? Maybe another mnetter could help you out?

YA def NBU.

Firawla · 03/09/2009 09:55

even if you pressed charges yanbu
definitely getting police to have a word with him is yanbu! very surprised anyone would think otherwise, is it acceptable to steal nowadays??

muddleduck · 03/09/2009 10:30

IMO the most important thing is that he is expected to repay what he has stolen. otherwise what is he learning?

I'd write a short note to the parents giving the total value of what has been taken and asking them to help arrange for him to repay the money.

MrsKarlKennedy · 03/09/2009 10:51

Cheeky little sod!

I would have called the police too - I think it is irrevalant that he "only" stole some alcohol and a bit of birthday money and it is certainly not "a bit OTT" as someone put it to involve the police. Hopefully a chat with them will scare him enough to never do it again.

I also read your original thread and the fact he had been looking on your laptop etc was bad enough without this.

Thank god you didn't end up with a facebook party at your house.

The parents sound totally unconcerned so let the police instill a few manners and responsilbility into the little git.

ginormoboobs · 03/09/2009 11:24

YANBU
He stole from you. He didn't steal a mars bar from the cupboard and have sly swig of alcohol. He stole quite a large amount of alcohol and stole from a child. Of course you should call the police!

4littlelions · 03/09/2009 11:37

I personally wouldn't have involved the police, what are they really gonna do. What he needs is grabbing by the collar and given a slap. Something to remeber his little escapade by and his parents should offer to get some money back to you or arranage for him to pay it back. I'd hope none of mine would ever carry on like that but more importantly I'd like to think I accept some responsibility

Casserole · 03/09/2009 11:51

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all OP.

I think they were both being little shits who knew exactly what they were doing, and their parents are dodging responsibility for what is, actually a crime.

I'm sorry it happened to you, and to your little boy

Original poster
usedtobeme · 03/09/2009 18:10

Thank you for replies.

I think the neighbours are pised off we involved the police which i'm finding a little ironic considering their son stole from us and we didn't punch his lights out were fairly civil

OP posts:
ChookKeeper · 03/09/2009 18:39

usedtobeme - YANBU - to be honest if mine had done that, having been put in such a position of trust, I'd have called the police myself (and before anyone says "your wouldn't do that to your own child" - yes I flippin' well would).

If he has so little regard for your property he needs the crap scareing out of him before he gets even more cocky.

CheerfulYank · 03/09/2009 18:45

You did the right thing! I'd flat out destroy my DS if he pulled this crap in 13 years! I'm sick of parents justifying their children's rude, annoying, and flat out criminal behavior. I can't believe that his parents didn't apologize and force him to do the same as well as pay back anything he stole. Ridiculous!

queenrollo · 03/09/2009 22:55

i ran this by dp when he got in from work as he has worked with youth offenders quite intensively in the past. He says from a professional point of view you did absolutely the right thing by involving the police.

edam · 03/09/2009 23:04

Think you did the right thing, which probably in the end will help this lad, by (hopefully) putting him off doing anything like this ever again.

Queenrollo, interesting to have your dp's point of view. Will bear that in mind if I'm ever unlucky enough to come up against something like that...

FWIW I stole some money from my mother when I was something like 10. Told myself it was kind of mine because it was family money (which I knew really wasn't true). Odd thing is I would never have dreamed of stealing from her purse... anyway, she called the police who had VERY stern words with me and I have definitely never done anything like that ever again.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 04/09/2009 13:26

Thought i'd better add in her defence, that the dog walkers mother called to say she felt the police was absolutely appropriate and she hoped itd give him the fright he needs to ensure he doesn't continue on this path.

Good to know she is behind us on this.

The other boys parents haven't bothered to ring.

OP posts:
YorkshireRose · 04/09/2009 13:46

custardo, not sure if you have actually explained why you think Op was OTT in calling the police. You just stated that you thought it was OTT.

And though you have the right to disagree with OP, equally she has the right to disagree with you!

It would be more useful if you would explain WHY you feel the way you do rather than saying repeatedly that you are entitled to your opinion. Would be a bit more interesting, anyway.

MANATEEequineOHARA · 04/09/2009 13:56

YANBU! Someone steals from you - they should expect to deal with the consequences, and if they didn't expect to, then they need to be shown the consequences (the police) so they know!

independiente · 04/09/2009 14:02

OP, another vote for YANBU - you did the appropriate thing. Not remotely OTT. Agree with YorkshireRose's comments.

YorkshireRose · 04/09/2009 14:12

Oh, by the way, OP, YANBU!

And my reasons for holding that opinion are that:

  • stealing ANYTHING is wrong and illegal and as such should be dealt with by those who are responsible for dealing with breaches of the law, ie the police. To basically ransack an employers house in search of anything they fancy is much worse than nicking a sweet from a shop (and I think even that wouls warrant a stern talking to from the police. These little gits need to be made to understand the seriousness of what they did,

  • the OP tried to deal with it via the parents but they were clearly not willing to take it seriously enough

  • if these little scrotes are allowed to think they can get away with stealing from an employer they will pretty soon find themselves in a cell,

  • they are the worst kind of despicable shits in that they stole a child's birthday money FGS! The OP's dc deserves to have the real upset caused by this taken seriously!

Anyway, there is my opinion and the reasons behind it!

missmelly · 04/09/2009 16:55

I think you did the right thing. I cant see how any harm could be done by calling them and getting them involved. Hopefully it'll give the little shits a good fright.
If you let them get away with it, it would definitely encourage them to carry on.

I was bit of a little shit as a teen, and I think if I'd ever got caught it would have put a stop to it (I'm talking stealing from shops and stuff, not little kids!)

Original poster
usedtobeme · 05/09/2009 15:29

Just had my neighbour round with my dh's head torch, apparently the boy say's 'that' was a genuine mistake as he saw it and thought it was his

She also told me she had the other boys mother on the phone saying we had completely blown it out of proportion.

However she just rang me and asked could they bring the son round to apologise in person tonight.

I hate all this stuff it makes me feel so uptight and nervous, altho i absolutely feel outraged, it is more the whole adrenalin thing going on making me feel a bit all over the place. Bloody teenagers

OP posts:
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