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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

so i called the police.

78 replies

usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 21:07

Following on from my previous thread about my teenage dog sitter taking the piss..

Basically discovered my almost 15 yr old dog walker had been in my house, gone thru my cupboards (with a friend i already banned from my home) stolen a bottle of gin, beers and a bottle of brandy. I had it out with him and his mum gave him a telling off (of sorts)

Since discovered my kids piggy bank has been emptied of all but the coppers, tens and twenties. Gutted.

I rang the other boys parnets and they said they didn't see how their son could be involved and had an awful tone.

So i rang the police who said we were within our rights to charge them but we decided a talking to would be ample.

I feel bad for my neighbour but i feel like i've been burgled and to be honest she did little more than get upset and say she was worried about him and he was still being a little cocky for my liking during our 'chat'.

Was i out of order invoving the police?? I hope it gives him enough of a fright to put him on the straight and narrow.

OP posts:
Stayingsunnygirl · 02/09/2009 22:39

There is another thread on the site at the moment where the OP is talking about her dd and her dd's friend stealing from her purse. Another poster on the thread had a similar experience, and contacted her local community policing unit, who sent a couple of officers round to give her child a good talking-to. The community police officers said that it was good to try to nip this sort of thing in the bud - perhaps it will achieve the same thing for this teenager.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 22:39

if something significant of value had been taken i would have phoned the police

My sons birthday money was imo something of value. We work hard for our money in our house i dont expect some little thug to steal from me, esp when i was paying him £40 for the pleasure.

But thanks for your opinion custardo

OP posts:
gingerbunny · 02/09/2009 22:47

I work with young offenders and I think that you did the right thing.
This young man was in a position of trust and he betrayed that, for every action there is a consquence, if they don't want the police knocking at the door they shouldn't commit a crime.
If you hadn't done it, then he would have believed that he had got away with it and maybe taken more next time.
He should be made to repay the money he took from your little boy. If I was his mum I'd make him sell some thing of his own so he could repay the money, then he may have a better understanding of how it feels to have something taken from you.

SadCatlady · 02/09/2009 22:47

Custardo - the 15yo was only at the house as an employee, not as a guest. If he had a job in a pizza place with access to alcohol and cash, and stole both, don't you think the police would/should be involved then?

There has been a MASSIVE abuse of trust here and the parent's response has not been appropriate. In this case the parents should have acted the role of police but they didn't, hence the OP went to the actual police and has been very generous in not pressing charges because she had every right to.

There's degrees of acceptability and (IMO) if it had been only a half bottle of wine, or an inch of drink left in a dusty old whisky bottle, then that's still stealing but more opportunist than calculated. However in this case this lad has been in several different locations around the house, systematically taking what he wanted including from kids moneyboxes FFS, and that is disgraceful.

gingerbunny · 02/09/2009 22:48

hope it doesn't put you off young poeple, they're not all bad!!

Tortington · 02/09/2009 22:48

You didn't quantify the amount in the op. thankyou for quoting me - if it was a significant amount, as i said i would have phoned the police.

i have already said i didn't think they were in the right, indeed i said you did the right thng speaking to the parents

i think you are being contrary on purpose.

if you didn't want a differing opinion why put in aibu usedtobeme?

Rindercella · 02/09/2009 22:52

What SadCatLady said.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:04

can always rely on you custardo for a differing opinion!

My little boy is also gutted about this as he looks up to this boy. Its so sad and so so dissapointing.

I hope this boys mother can understand why we felt we had no choice but to involve the police.

Don't worry gingerbunny it hasn't put me off teens, i used to be one myself

OP posts:
MermaidSpam · 02/09/2009 23:09

I would have beaten the shit out of him
Well done for just calling the police!

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:15

mermaid believe me i felt like it, esp when i asked him why there was a sanitary towel stuck to my kitchen worktop (it certainley wasn't there when we left for the wekend!) to which he replied 'er whats that?'

This is a boy who lives in a house full of women. But apparently has never come across a sanitary towel. My 5yo ds knows what they are ffs.

Or maybe there was a bigger urge to slap him when he was looking all cocky behind his teary eyed mother. Little shit.

OP posts:
hambler · 02/09/2009 23:16

you did the right thing. Well done.

SadCatlady · 02/09/2009 23:19

I think there should be a "I AM being farkin more than reasonable" section, then it would cut out those who like to go across the grain simply for reasons of contrariness/flippancy/controversy.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:23

i think you've got a good point there sadcatlady but there is always one

OP posts:
MermaidSpam · 02/09/2009 23:27

We need an "I am being sodding reasonable, challenge me if you dare" thread

waitingforfanjo · 02/09/2009 23:29

YANBU. I agree with what you did, and the way you did it. You gave the parents the opportunity to sort it out first which was important. They didn't/couldn't & didn't offer to refund what the lad took.

Stealing is wrong, doesn't matter if it was £5 and a couple of bottles of booze or £5000 and the contents of your wine cellar. And you were already paying him, FFS! And to rob a little childs piggy bank, how pathetic is that.

claw3 · 02/09/2009 23:44

Or perhaps 'i know that im not being unreasonable, i have already made up my mind, so dont say that i am, in fact im so bloody right i dont even know why i started a thread'

Tortington · 02/09/2009 23:46

why can't i have a different opinion?

SlartyBartFast · 02/09/2009 23:48

op wasnt the culprit suicidal didnt you say on your other thread?
he got in with a badun by the sounds of things.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:53

slarty his mum said she was worried about him as his note suggested he was suicidal. TBH i think he was gutted to be caught and legged it. The mother is concerned because the rate of suicide amongst young males is so high but without being flippant about it i think alot of teenagers are 'suicidal' three times a week when a new spot appears, boyfriend dumps them, bad hair day, i've been there.

OP posts:
Tortington · 02/09/2009 23:53

why not have a "don't post your opinion just agree with me. If you disagree i will say you are disagreeing 'just becuase you can' even if you have explained clearly and rationally your reasons. whilst as the OP i'll put your name in bold and gets shirty "

nah it's a bit long that.

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:55

Also he admitted he rang this other guy and asked him over at the weekend knowing he was dog walking for us. Off his own back, no one put a gun to his head. He had been told previously this other boy was not to come to my house. If he is easily led then i'm even more positive the police was the right course of action.

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 02/09/2009 23:58

difficult decision, but you made it.
are his parents approachable?

Original poster
usedtobeme · 02/09/2009 23:58

just addressing you correctly custardo

I thanked you for your opinion, hardly getting shirty my love.

OP posts:
Tortington · 02/09/2009 23:59

oh you have been my darling

Rindercella · 03/09/2009 00:00

at custy. It is a tad long.

I reckon you two should just agree to disagree and leave it at that

usedtobeme, imo (and it is only that), you have done the right thing. Hopefully the shock of having the police around will be enough to shock him out of this behaviour.

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