To feel angry at ignorant parents who don,t reply to my texts to arrange playdates

[worzil]

Because at the moment I just don,t understand it and have tried to work it out but can,t.
My ds is an only doesn,t have opportunity to play with any neighbourhood children at all.
So I try and arrange for school mates to come sometimes he is 8.
Well I feel as though all of my efforts have been fruitless during the holidays I have text a fair few people to try and get my ds together with theirs to no avail as they seem to ignore my texts even when I have offered to take their dc out with my dc for the day.
So what is it.
Could it be that they are too busy to reply to a text for gods sake.
Their dc's don,t want to come
They are just downright rude.
They can,t be bothered reciprocating to my ds although I don,t expect it although it would be nice.
Maybe they think I am weird or something.
I to be honest think they are just downright rude and I feel like saying stuff to them but my ds still wants to see their dc's so I feel rotten about it.
Some of these are friends that my ds had from his old infant school and I am thinking that they don,t see the point any longer in maintaining my ds's and their ds's relationship.
However I have had the same with friends at his current school.
I just feel put out and truly rotten my ds has asked for people I have text them, no reply ds will say phone them I don,t like to as I don,t want to look pushy.
Honestly what is the problem I would be delighted if someone text me for ds to come and play or if they offered to take him out and would jump at it but maybe I don,t have the great socail life lined up for ds that they have for theirs I just don,t know.
Perhaps I am just bothering them too much and should leave it be.
Is it just me or what.
Why do they ignore me maybe they are not really chummy enough with ds to play outside school however I figure that by arranging playdates it could encourage more solid friendships.
I feel so down about it tbh my ds has spent alot of time on his own during the holidays.

Now, maybe it is just me, or maybe it is also the case for the people you are texting.

Texting is EFFORT. Picking up the phone to arrange a playdate by voice takes less than a minute. Doing it through texting is a chore of insurmountable dimensions for some (like me), it takes a lot ot time to dither hither and tither, finding date, time, where to go and what to do. Some people just dont have time nor inclination to text back and forth.

It actually IRRITATES me (sorry for shouting) but it really does. It is lazyness on part of the instigator, as it is so cumbersome to do this by text, that the person in receipt of the text is nearly forced to call to arrange. Why shoul I pay for a phone call so that YOU can arrange a playdate with my child? Sorry, no can do.

So, do yourself and your child a favour, put on your nice polite and pleasant voice, and pick up the phone and CALL!

ok, you hear me!

It was rather difficult to follow your post, if your texts were in similar style, the recipients probably didn't understand them.[hmmwe

I don't understand why some people are getting on to the OP about her post.

The informal dictionary meaning of the word 'ignorant' is 'not polite; rude,' so it expresses what she feels about these people.

Her post is perfectly clear and understandable.
I would suggest the OP is BU to be 'angry' about this situation - 'put out' might be more fitting, and would stand less chance of passing the negative feelings on to her DS.

I also agree that phoning is probably better, giving you more of a chance to chat up the person and remind them that you're a nice person and so is your child, and their child will be safe and have fun at your house.

I'm always pleased to have invites for my kids, but am a bit rubbish with my mobile, especially in the holidays, so DS's friends' mums who know me usually phone.

There are many and varied reasons why people don't reply to texts and not all of them are because the recipient is being rude or ignorant in any way.

As for seeing friends etc in holidays, it can be very difficult to find the time. When we broke up from school, six weeks ago, we planned to get together for a meal at some point during the first couple of weeks. But we couldn't find a night when we were all available, so, what with eople then being away etc, we never did have our night out. I also planned to have several days out with family members. Again, due to the way our 'going away' worked out, in the entire six weeks, I managed to have a total of three days out with family members. DH and I planned to take our (almost adult) sons out for a couple of days during his time off work. Again, due to conflicting 'timetables' we just didn't manage it. If I genuinely couldn't manage to find time to see family during the six weeks, imagine the difficulties that some people might have seeing their children's school friends!

It is sad that you had no replies, but when mine were that age, I always found a phone call was much more successful than a text.

Hope things go better during the next holidays!

Message withdrawn

I hope that you aren't one of my friends cos I don't actually know where my phone is.
(has anyone seen it?)

I think it is strange they don´t reply.

I would reply, but if I am honest...

...despite liking a lot of the Ds´s friends´ mums, and being friendly with some, I am quite happy to have a break from anything to do with school (including nice schoolgate mums) for 2 months. Don´t know why, I just don´t fancy seeing anyone for a bit, apart from old pre-children friends, IYKWIM.

Maybe other peopel feel like that too?

Fo summer next year you could sign up DC for a sports or activity course for a few weeks,they make make friends quickly!

I don't think it is the lazy thing to do but I do think texting is a PITA. It always seems to take about 5 texts and 15 minutes to sort out something that a 30 second convo would have done.

I often don't reply to texts, I am probably rude but there you go. People who know me, know not to bother.

At 8 I'm surprised there aren't any local children he can just play out with. I hate the whole playdates thing finding it very superorganised alpha mum and American, but the term just wasn't in use when my kids were small. I do think of it as a preschool thing though and at school age my kids tended to have local friends who by the age of 8 they would phone to see if convenient to play or they'd just call round.
I agree with otherwise signing him up for a weeks activities at the local leisure centre if available. Also when my son was that age I'd often take him to the local park where he then found kids to play with for a while whilst I read a book, otherwise we'd do something together. We used to go out together on the trailorbike alot at that age.
I hate texting and would prefer to be phoned on my house phone as mobile doesn't work in the house. Making arrangements for kids to meet is too complex to be done by text.

I agree with Miss Sunny. I use texts all the time to arrange things, and have come to know which friends are likely to reply straight away and which will see it at some point in the future. I think it is far less intrusive as you get the chance to think about the invitation and reply when convenient. I hate people ringing my home phone, as I can't walk around when talking on it so invariably end up with 2 small children shrieking Mummy at me, it nearly always wakes the baby and I find I can't get through a conversation without numerous interruptions anyway.

I do think it's rude that they don't reply to you, and understand how you feel about calling them once a text has been ignored though.

I think they could have replied whichever way.... i do have this issue but my paranoia sets in and i imagine allsorts. it may be a fairly simple explanation. as for texting........ me and my friends and dds friends generally text instead of ringing because we are all so busy and usually we text to arrange a time to chat and catch up face to face. its not being rude at all. I get some lovely texts from friends so see how i am and as i get free texts i am happy as it saves the pennies!!!!

worzil - by texting you are putting someone on the spot. There could be many reasons (e.g on holiday, busy, other thinsg going on) or perhaps the people you were texting actually are almost complete strangers who happen to have a child at the same school as theirs. It is almost like receiving a nuisance tex/phonecall.

I know I really hate the whole playdate thing and maybe the wrong person to ask but one of our friends sent out a global group text listing the playdates her DDs were 'available' right at the start of the holidays. We did not reply - just seemed so cold and impersonal.

Another person who we barely know texted us 2 days after we moved to our new house as we had moved in to the same street. It just seems too calculated texting random strangers like this. Close friends, fine ring them up and ivite them over but not just texting people you barely know.

Not surprised you got so few answers.

Texting does not put people on the spot..... it gives people time to think and respond at their convenience!! I text my best friends and my dp all the time. Its far from impersonal!!!!

Yes YABU.

Don't bother me with playdates, I'm far too busy and important.

I don't think texting is an age thing necessarily. I'm 34, so not particularly young, and my friends range from about 25 - 45 - all of whom are happy to text as it's easier for us. Also you have a record of what was arranged in case of more "senior moments" of memory loss!

i would always reply to a text and think it is rude not too. I quite often text to arrange things but as someone else said, it would usually have been quicker to actually phone.

Well personally I think it's bollocks - any unanswered form of communication is unfriendly and rude. I would only let these people off if they sought you out to apologise when you next see them. That way they can explain their 'poor reception' 'lack of credit/charge' or 'being abroad'. I would be pleased someone had approached me for a playdate for my children (not that we have had any problem this holiday but have had similar experiences last year). Not everyone has the balls or confidence to ring up and put someone on the spot.

I can't be bothered with texting. I don't reply to all texts, and if I do it can sometimes be days later. I do not like the assumption that I will respond straight away.

I agree with ABetaDad - a text from someone I barely knew would annoy me. I wouldn't bother answering either tbh.

I'm 46 and this may be a generational issue because I cannot actualy text. [bush]

I am only 31 (so not an old gimmer ), I can text but can never be bothered.

Easier to call people, tbh.

Yanbu ..its rude not to reply to a text asking for a playdate [shudder at that word]imo ..most people I know use texts now ..seems weird to me that people don't and I'm 50 so not an age thing ..and I get free texts so cheaper too