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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To treat certain pedestrians in this way?

171 replies

BosomForAPillow · 31/08/2009 19:59

You know when a pedestrian crosses in front of your car when they really don't have much time to do so (because you're driving towards that bit of road!), but instead of hurrying across, they strut/meander as if they have all the time in the world? I'm talking about teenagers usually, who seem to me to be doing this with "attitude" and just expect me to slow down/stop until they've ambled across.

Well, I've started spraying them with my windscreen wash.
AIBU?

OP posts:
edam · 31/08/2009 23:06

Ponders, no, but I'm pointing out how bloody vulnerable pedestrians are. The car that hit me was only just pulling out - yet it left me on crutches for three months and limping for another three.

It's all very well getting cross with pedestrians, but the motorist is in control of a deadly weapon. Someone who is incapable of keeping their temper in check shouldn't really be allowed to have that power.

Btw, we did have a very scary pedestrian leaping out in front of us once when dh was driving - late at night, empty road, five lanes (three in our direction), central London. Dh had to do a real emergency stop. We had no idea whether the guy was drunk/on drugs/actually looking to end it all. Terrifying.

There is no excuse for bullying pedestrians, though, even if they do appear to be irritating. You only have to make one very tiny error of judgment, and you will be in serious trouble. (Or should be - police couldn't care less about the guy who hit me.)

LovelyTinOfSpam · 31/08/2009 23:06

I am going to bed now.

And will be crossing that bit more carefully tomorrow, now that I know that it is normal for people to drive closely to people who don't move quickly enough.

FFS.

How will you lot feel when you meet a teen who can't move quick? Happy I guess, as the penalties for running people over and killing them, if you're not drunk, speeding etc, are pretty light. Slap on the wrist and a small fine.

Go for it.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 31/08/2009 23:08

I'm guessing you were probably more careful about where you crossed then.

I do not drive at teenagers fgs. You're reading far too much into this.

Do you really think we don't know pedestrians are vulnerable?

last week, I drove down our street. A group of four teenagers coming out of the park were walking down the middle of the road. Right down the middle. They could see me. They were just walking towards me. You know logically they will get out of the way, but it's worrying! How far will they go? Of course, i'd have stopped had the need arises, but it's this kind of playing chicken that I have to deal with. It's scary.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 31/08/2009 23:10

Edam, a squirt of windscreen is hardly bulling pedestrians, surely.

Original poster
BosomForAPillow · 31/08/2009 23:11

I never said I drive my car close to pedestrians. I was asking if it's unreasonable to give them a squirt of water when they have crossed when they shouldn't have - forcing me to brake/swerve. I also don't think pedestrians should have to run across the road; I think they should cross when it is safe to do so, not when someone is driving down that bit of road at some speed when the only way they could make it is if they did run. Which they don't! I'm not driving at them to scare the shit out of them/make them run, I'm driving along the road and they're making me have to suddenly brake, while they chat/swagger/give a cocky look.

OP posts:
edam · 31/08/2009 23:13

Mary, of course spraying someone with water is bullying, as is hooting. And I'm sure you know it fine well! But people on this thread have also confessed to driving really close to pedestrians, which is clearly VERY dangerous.

MillyR · 31/08/2009 23:14

I have read a few times on MN recently about people beeping at people who were annoying them. Does anyone know what the law on that is? DH claims that you are only allowed to sound a horn in an actual emergency. Yet people seem to sound them when there is no danger and their car has stopped.

OP, YABU. I am not going to go into all the reasons why because I find this to be the most depressing AIBU I have read on MN, so am better off not being drawn into this. It is very sad.

Original poster
BosomForAPillow · 31/08/2009 23:14

I'm going to bed too.
My first AIBU. It got a bit more heated than I expected.

OP posts:
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 31/08/2009 23:15

Ah yes, just spotted that bit. Must read more carefully in future.

That is really pretty poor.

But not comparable to a little bit of water for those cocky sods I'm talking about.

Original poster
BosomForAPillow · 31/08/2009 23:17

Milly it's not that they're just annoying me, they are being a danger. It is an emergency in a way as they are forcing me to do an emergency stop!

If this is the most depressing AIBU you've ever read, you can't have read the same ones as me!

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 31/08/2009 23:20

as a pedestrian - I find deliberately driving very close quite shocking, am pissed off at the idea of being squirted but quite phlegmatic about being hooted at.

edam · 31/08/2009 23:27

My driving instructor says you should only sound the horn to make someone aware of your presence - it means 'I am here'. She reached across me to beep at the daft woman who tried to pull out into me as I was driving past...

MermaidSpam · 31/08/2009 23:55

YABU - what is much more appropriate is having a water pistol handy filled with tuna Brine. That'll teach the fuckers

SomeGuy · 01/09/2009 00:36

gah. There are slow people, and there are cocky bastards.

Nobody should have an issue with people being slow, but cocky bastards do need to be taught a lesson.

Behaviour I have seen that falls into the 'deserves a squirt category':

  • jumping in front of cars to impress your mates
  • as above and then punching the car
  • crossing the road while deliberately looking the opposite direction from the traffic, expecting them to stop.
  • walking in front of a car when there is no traffic behind

etc.

verylittlecarrot · 01/09/2009 00:45

Isn't jaywalking illegal in the US, (although not in the UK, it's still plainly dangerous here)? I understood the OP to be referring ONLY to pedestrians who deliberately, and with clear intention cross when it is patently NOT SAFE to do so, thus causing a driver to take aversive action, which in itself risks an accident. This is a really dangerous game to play.

I don't condone driving too close, or startling a pedestrian, whether they have recklessly stepped onto a road unsafely or not.

And we are clearly not referring to elderly or disabled pedestrians here.

But I confess, I do understand the temptation of the OP to clean her windscreen at that precise moment, as she is certainly entitled to do. Never done it myself, and not sure I would. But I think some reactions here are a little over-zealous about the squirting of windscreen washers. If a reckless teenager thinks twice about playing 'chicken' with dangerous cars in such a way again, then I think that's a lesson learned in their favour, and all other road users.

BitOfFun · 01/09/2009 01:20

YANBU

I know you are not referring to people who have mobility issues- just people who are being stupidly nonchalant crossing.

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 01/09/2009 03:36

'And that's exactly why it makes me so cross when someone saunters across the street, looking towards you, no intention of hurrying, cocky. Honestly, we're not talking about the same thing here.'

Be the bigger person.

mmrsceptic · 01/09/2009 06:10

would just like to disagree with the David/pedestrian and Goliath/car view

actually someone in car is quite vulnerable in this sort of situation, with this kind of passive aggressive thing going on

there isn't a whole lot to be done, you have to slow down or stop, your car might be got at or damaged, so really, the power balance is the other way around

purepurple · 01/09/2009 07:29

OP,
YABU
Is your life that important, that you can't slow down for a split second to let someone cross the road?
As for squirting them with windscreen wash, what a horrible thing to do.
So, you wouldn't mind if somebody poured paint stripper over your car because you were a bit slow in pulling away from the lights?
I can just imagine what you are like. think it's funny to do this to other people's children, but if somebody did it to yours, then you would have something to complain about.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 01/09/2009 08:10

I know the sort of pedestrian you mean. About 2 years ago I was waiting to cross a road to get to work when a mother walked straight out into the road dragging her 7/8 year old daughter, who was asking her mother why she didnt look both ways, the woman replied "why should I do that? a cars got breaks aint it?"
So unfortunately that kind of Im invincible attitude is quite common, its a shame sense isnt.

OrmIrian · 01/09/2009 08:19

YANBU bosom. I find it annoying too. If someone launches themselves across the road in front of me and saunters instead of making some effort I find that swearing vilely at them helps. I think that spraying is good too - if it damages their cool just a little Assault my arse

And much less of an assault than running them over....

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 01/09/2009 09:24

so you'd sqirt someone dawdling in front of you with 'attitude' if you were also a pedestrian?

dancingqueeen · 01/09/2009 09:27

backing up what tin of spam said. YABU to spray. even more so to drive close to scare them. And BOTH of these actions would be classed as assault.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/09/2009 09:57

mmrsceptic the balance of power is the other way round?

Your car might be got at or damaged?

You are seriously suggesting that in an altercation between a car and a pedestrian the car will come off worse?

Try telling that to the relatives of the 50 people killed or seriously injured on the streets of london every single week.

You are clearly nuts and if you think that, frankly I think you are as dangerous as the other on the thread who like to drive at people do give them a scare.

Plus for those saying "well obviously we're not talking about people with mobility issues" - you can't always tell if someone has mobility difficulties by looking at them. A strange thing to make an assumption about before accelerating at someone who you have judged, on no evidence, is able to jump out of the way.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/09/2009 10:02

Very very worrying attitudes on this thread, which explain the shockingly and often deliberately aggressive and dangerous driving seen on the roads every day.

It takes a couple of extra seconds to wait for a saunterer to cross the road. Really why react to that with such aggression?

The many people who have asked whether you would squirt water at a person who was walking slowly in front of you, or threaten them with a gun or a knife, or go up and scream at them as loudly as you can, are on the right lines.

The reason you are reacting like that is because you are in a car, in your safe metal box, you have all the power and your behaviour changes for the worse because of it.