cost of babysitters, i am really out of touch

[redblue]

i know i am totally out of touch here. Tonight hubby & I are going out tonight for the first time since daughter was born 10 months ago. Found a trusted person to babysit who tells me going rate is £6 per hour. We don't live in london and knowing nothing about this I was quite pleased when she first told me this hourly rate thinking it sounded cheap. But as I am about to go to the cash point now to get money to pay her I realised that our anticipated hours out of the house (about 4) are likely to cost us the same if not slightly less than the two main meals at the pub we are going to and so there is quite a good chance that we pay more to the babysitter than we spend whilst out. I know I know that that is not the point and it is quality time and the chance to go out etc and maybe it is our own fault for not blowing the budget and going the whole hog in the 4 hours we are away but that is not really our style. I guess it will be a learning curve to me conclusion of which is don't go out make your own fun at home! (No family members living nearby before anyone says it!!)Right, let the abuse start if you think i am totally out of touch and that is just the way things work!!

I'd love to go out. Unfortunately DS has turned into a problem sleeper and we never have any idea when he will go to sleep and if he will wake up. We haven't been out together in 6 months and then we only made it out three times in the 11 months before that.
Those of you who do get out ENJOY IT! Our parents either live abroad or are way too old. Very jealous.

we never go out either, its driving me mad but feel its out of our control

mum is in her 80's, far too old for babysitting, so is MIL

no relatives nearby who would help (we have asked...trust me!!)

I earn minimum wage, dh not much more. paying a sitter £20-£25 on top of a few drinks is just too much for us

friends all have helpful mums who seems to come over and help out at the drop of a hat....

surely understanding why some of us can't get out as much as we'd really really like!! isn't too hard to understand

for those who cant afford a babysitter/dont have relatives etc

why dont you set up a baby sitting circle near you - either mums from nct, M&T , nursery/school if got older ones?

redblue - i am so glad that you and dh had a lovely night out and your comments are so true, yes it was a lot of money for you but you paid someone a good one INCASE your dd woke up/needed care etc

no-one will babysit a child like dd Blondes. And she needs me to get to bed with her between 8 and 9 to watch she keeps breathing (thats why I don't post after those times. Every night I go to bed just after 8pm. What a life I lead!)
Forgotten what 'out' looks like!

£10 p/h in SW London for a very experienced/trained nanny/childminder

i would riven - but you arent near me

thats if you would trust your dd with this mad -nutty lovely blonde nanny

your dd sounds a delight

but if you eveer move or come near me ........ let me know x

blondes, everyone I know has family who babysit and don't need to be in a circle

we are the odd ones out

I'm packaging her up now

Agreed, it is expensive. I just can't afford it full stop.

We go out separately or as a family. Don't feel able to trust what family (Dp's brother and sister) we do have living nearby as they will feed DS fizzy drinks from a bottle/not watch him/not put him to bed.

no we don't Dandy. SS offer a 'time for you' service but because dd had meds/tube feds in the evning then needs to be accompanied to bed it wont work for us. We did once try a 3 hour during the day slot - the rules are you must leave the house so no computing - and we wandered the streets eating chips waiting for time to go home! It wasn't long enough for the cinema and we couldn't afford a posh lunch. We did that 2 years ago.
Most of dd's carers aren't trained in tube feeds and none are allowed to give emergency seizure medication so we always need to be close by.
DD now has a hospice place so we are considering leaving her at the hospice for a few hours one day as they are all trained nurses.
With my teenagers, when they were little, friends babysat. Preferable as all our kids grew up together so they all knew each other.

id have no idea what out is either, we have 1 disabled child bit like your dd riven tube fed etc.....
the day is divided up into med times physio tec.
we havnt been out together in 10 years but we manage and make our own time together when we can
we had our little boy 13mths ago and he is very poorly and is terminal now we have his op very soon.....so hoping here,

id have a trust issue id trust no one with my special 2 let alone the other boys and to find one with the skills and that can admisnister the drugs....not a chance there.

i think there rates the op were fair tbh....

Riven - surprised that your DD's carers aren't permitted to give emergency seizure medication. My insurance permits me to do it, plus insures me for tube feeding (though I need retraining on that). Good to hear that your DD has a hospice place... hope that will give you an occasional break and once you have built up trust in their ability to care for your DD, maybe you will consider leaving DD there for longer periods, such as overnight - so you get an undisturbed nights sleep.

only trained ones can nick and the Agency doesn't have any trained ones. Partly because there's no epilepsy nurse here to provide the training! Apparently its not good enough if I show them
Mind you, if we ever did go out I'd be on here agonising over what to wear as I have nothing smart!

dh and I went out for dinner t'other week and he asked if he could keep the menu as he was really interested in reading the blurb on the front page! What a fascinating date I am

Nah. Twas alright. Good to get out

riven - did you not have any luck with getting nurse to stay at yr home? We now have overnight care 2 nights a week. Through complex care

not yet pixie. SS wont do it but dd has been taken on by a charity for life limited kids. They don't have any money right now but will do a care plan in October.
Then we shall hit the town

pleased to hear that riven. Tho you'll prolly be timing yr first night out in aons with works christmas do's. Arrrrggghhhh!

does anybody on here know about coole2care?

It's a newish social enterprise set by a couple with adisabled child which arranges a carer for disabled kids. It looks really good but operates in only afew areas at the moment.
"Cool2Care is an organisation helping families look after disabled children and young adults. We are always looking for people who want to work with disabled young people, whether it?s working with them in their homes, or taking them out.

We believe working with disabled youngsters is fun! Many people say they find the work rewarding. It doesn?t matter if you are young or old, experienced or starting a job for the first time. Maybe you are looking for temporary work or a permanent career. All you need is patience, a love of children and a positive attitude.

Whatever your background, if you?re thinking of working with disabled children then we would love to hear from you.

We are now recruiting carers and have places on the training courses running in Gloucestershire, Essex and the Isle of Wight."
but i think they also cover other areas:
Telephone : 0845-123-5484

Or click to email your nearest Cool2Care office:
Birmingham Office
Essex North Office
Essex South Office
Gloucester Office
Isle of Wight Office
Surrey Office (Guildford (Nick??)) and have bigs expansion plans.

it looks a brilliant idea - and they recruit carers all the time. Do take a look - and MN I have nothing to do with this org just a complete fan!

Not heard of them. Looks like they are an introduction agency (why can't social services / FIS just tell parents about local childcarers with suitable experience - FIS have a statutory duty to give that information for Free).

From the Cool2Care Carer Brochure:

Cool2Care acts as an introductory agency.
It doesn?t employ care-workers, each careworker contracts directly with a family.
The family is charged a placement fee.
This means 100% of the salary paid by the family goes to the care-worker.
Salaries will vary by area and by family, depending on the specific work required.
There are modest fees for the training to be paid by the care-worker.

So they are doing something that FIS should already be doing... that is taking enquiries from parents, giving parents a list of suitable childcarers, and helping childcarers get suitable training.

yes that is what they do but what they achieve is something the big org doesn't seem able to - and they attract people who might not be keen to be recruited by SSDs. Thye also provide appropriate training and because they are parents of a disabled child they seem to have better undertsanding than big impersonal orgs tend to.

I understand your frustration - but they do, imo, seem to fill a gap.

'We believe working with disabled youngsters is fun! ' hahahahahahahaha. They've not met my dd then.

A more realistic approach would be 'we know working with disabled youngsters is bloody hard work and tiring, but we are willing to do it for a price'!!!

I'm in Hampshire - and pay £8 per hour, so £6 seems pretty good to me!!