cost of babysitters, i am really out of touch

[redblue]

i know i am totally out of touch here. Tonight hubby & I are going out tonight for the first time since daughter was born 10 months ago. Found a trusted person to babysit who tells me going rate is £6 per hour. We don't live in london and knowing nothing about this I was quite pleased when she first told me this hourly rate thinking it sounded cheap. But as I am about to go to the cash point now to get money to pay her I realised that our anticipated hours out of the house (about 4) are likely to cost us the same if not slightly less than the two main meals at the pub we are going to and so there is quite a good chance that we pay more to the babysitter than we spend whilst out. I know I know that that is not the point and it is quality time and the chance to go out etc and maybe it is our own fault for not blowing the budget and going the whole hog in the 4 hours we are away but that is not really our style. I guess it will be a learning curve to me conclusion of which is don't go out make your own fun at home! (No family members living nearby before anyone says it!!)Right, let the abuse start if you think i am totally out of touch and that is just the way things work!!

We have a local teenage lad who babysits. He is usually here for around 3 hours or just over. We give him £20 and leave snacks.

i went out last night to the cinema , it was our first night out in two years almost , dn & her boyfriend babysat for us , i left in loads of goodies & nibbles for them , the dc's were already in bed & i got in a DVD that dn had wanted to see , the film wasn't very long so we were home within two hours ,
& i gave dn £ 20 , feel a bit ripped off now reading some of these posts ,

I'm in London and I charge around £5 for parents that I know (I'm a nanny). Usually their children are 3 at the youngest so it's never difficult. If they're more than a short walk from my house and come back later than about 11pm I would expect a taxi home to be paid for - I've never had to ask, it's always been a given.

For the past 3 years, having a qualified and experienced nanny babysit in the evening would typically cost £10 per hour in my area (Surrey/Berkshire).
A non childcare qualified teenager would cost a lot less but parents with baby may not feel happy leaving their baby in the care of someone without baby experience... thus why nannies like myself were in demand.
Things have changed over the past few months, I am doing a lot less babysitting than I did in the past. I've lowered my price by £2 per hour to encourage more bookings but time will tell if that actually makes any difference. It seems to me that a lot of parents can't afford to go out for the evening at all - paying a babysitter on top of the cost of going out just makes it even more costly. Families for whom I used to babysit a lot have started using relatives, arranging for their children (who are now school age, not babies) to go for sleep-overs with friends.

Back in my teens (a long time ago now), I recall charging £1.50 per hour, per child... over the years that cost has gone up... now £4 per hour per child - based on a family with 2 children - £2 per hour per child if the family has 4 children. That rise has occurred over a 18 year period, so about a 6% rise year on year. The cost of getting to babysitting jobs used to be minimal - as I cycled my push-bike. These days I drive... fuel is costing me around 10p per mile, then there are all the other car costs to add. Maybe I should start cycling again.

What is a reasonable cost for evening babysitting - I don't know. It will vary from family to family as to what they feel is reasonable. Some children are very demanding, others are easy. Some children sleep through the night, others do not. Some children go to bed easily, others do not. Some children wet the bed frequently, others do not. How should a babysitter price the service they provide... should it be a set amount... or should it be based on the amount of physical work involved?
I feel parents are paying for peace of mind... how do you put a cost on that?

Redblue, If you were near me I honestly would babysit for you for nothing. And I`m an experienced nanny.

My babysitter is £6-£8 an hour (Cambridgeshire) and leaves it to the parent to decide total payment within those guidelines.

She works at DS's nursery and he loves her and I trust her - she is also mid-twenties and has vast experience with toddlers so I'm happy to pay her this rate.

Yes its a lot of money, which is why we go out no more than twice a year

Oh I should have said - I'm aware that folk around here have babysitting circles too - sort of a more formal arrangement between mums whereby everyone volunteers their time for a set number of hours for an evening.

That way everyone gets a free babysitter. Depends how many local mums you know though and it can get awkward I guess if there is a particular person in the group you dont feel comfortable with looking after your child/coming into your house.

I dont do it because all my close mum friends have their own free babysitters (we have no relatives anywhere close by)

We get our niece to do it for £5 an hour. As she tidies up as well, I consider this a bargain.

When DD was about 12m old and I couldn't get a relative in, SIL asked her next door neighbour for me - she was a trainee nursery nurse working in the baby room (19) and very sensible. She charged £6.50 an hour (this was 3 years ago) and said this was what her nursery told them to charge.

Reporting back, we had a fantastic time. Forgive me for telling you a bit I will be living off the memory for a while! We went out 7.45pm pub was lovely, nice beer garden, I had two courses (great quality homemade icecream for pudding!), hubby had three courses and a pint of local beer which he said was delicious (wild eh!! I only had mineral water sadly). Great conversation about non baby non work stuff and a few really good laughs - the type you don't get on a weekday night when you might otherwise turn on the TV!). Total bill was £38. Arrived home at 10.40pm.
The babysitter said (as I totally predicted) that my daughter did not stir once (she was already in bed when I arrived) infact she didn't even have to go upstairs whilst we were out because she could look at the monitor/camera/movemat/sound listener. She didn't eat any of the food I bought in for her. Although we arrived home early I did pay her £24 as she was expecting to be out for the 4 hours and my husband gave her a lift home.
In conclusion it was a very expensive night out for us but I loved every second of it. In a way the babysitter was worth the money - on the one hand it was money for nothing as she didnt have to do anything and I knew that would be the case. On the other hand she was worth the money because she is qualified and has years of experience in the baby room of the nursery where my daughter attends and the most valuable thing to me was that my daughter would have found her face very very familiar had she actually woken up and needed attending to. Again maybe I am a naieve first time parent but part of me thinks it might be unfair to expect a 10 month old baby to accept a total strangers face in her parents absence when she wakes one night.
In conclusion although we definitely won't be doing that again for a very long time (£62 is not far off our weekly shopping bill!) the only thing I would say is that if qualified nursery school workers/childcarers/nannies with years of experience under their belts especially experience with very young or vulnerable children wanted to, I think they could make some real money out of babysitting but ONLY if they offered a deal. By this I mean secure repeat work by saying I sell say 10 evenings worth of babysitting to you at a discount price. I totally accept that some children are a lot more work intensive to babysit for than other children but that is what the babysitter would have to accept in return for a potentially lucrative level of repeat work. Babysitters are paid in cash and so the tax free element must make it worthwhile (assuming they don't have to declare it on a tax return) especially if you can guarantee regular repeat work. Why don't qualified childcarers offer this?

I am guessing it is because everyone has their own solution to this whether it is a local teenager, family member or a babysitter they have paid a good price to for a long time and stick with because they trust that person. So there is no demand for it (or certainly not from people who are not new to this game first time parents!). But i for one would be interested in a deal from a reliable quality (i.e. experienced and works in childcare) babysitter at a discounted rate for a bulk buy. However I cannot see this ever being offered as there is plenty of demand for the going rate and babysitters do not appear to be particularly interested in repeat work (or not at less than the going rate).
So I will continue to enjoy the great evening I had last night in my memory and will work at other ways of having friends round at home etc! (No wonder the "dine in for £10" deals at various supermarkets are such a winner!!!)

Redblue - I like the repeat discount idea. Though a babysitter would not be able to offer that until they have babysat a few times for the family and thus have got to know the children well, as then they know how much work will be involved.
But what discounted price would you be looking at? £24 is already quite low (certainly in my area).

Glad you had such a great time. A more expensive night out but worth the money. Try to do it as a special treat when you feel as though you need the pick me up!

I pay a standard amount regardless of the total number of hours. I use a couple of girls I know - they are friends daughters. Occasionally I use a nursery helper from pre school. I pay £25 per night. If past midnight, I usually make it £30. I also leave some goodies and pay for taxi if needed. I prefer to give a set amount- the girls know what they will get and it is a guaranteed sume regardless of whether 2, 4 or 6 hours! Usually the earliest I ask them to come is 7 and usually back by 1130. If I am away with work, I might get them to come to let my husband out on badminton night- then it is usually 7-9ish. I still pay the £25. I think I am being fair to them- sometimes they do longer, sometimes shorter but it evens out over time. It is worth to me to have reliable, trustworthy and competent people in my house looking after my kids. I know they can respond sensibly in an emergency.

i love the repeat discount idea - and in fact that is kind of what i offer - i say £8 ph for regular slots and £10ph for one offs.

wonder how we could do this - nannynick any odeas? sorry your babysitting has dropped off

and so pleased you had a good night out - treasure the memory!

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Not sure how you would organise it, overthemill. Maybe a buy 4 nights (in a 3 month period) and get a night free. That is then a discount if 5 nights in a 3 month period, but no discount if less than 4 nights booked.

i wouldnt want a teen with no experience looking after a baby - mine or others. Of course its a generalisation but most wouldnt have teh confidence or maturity - my 16 yo wouldnt feel confident and she has 4 younger siblings and is a regular sitter. If you are happy to use ateen then thats fine but i wouldnt and would expect other people to necessarily.

btw, we almost never go out together - v occasionally get a night off when all kids sleeping over elsewhere or when we can force 16 yo to sit for us but we went to theatre 2 x in march and not anything at all last year without kids!!!

I agree Misssunny, I couldn't cope with going out once or twice a year. But I'm in the lucky position of having my mum 10 mins drive away, and lots of friends/aquaintances who are happy to baby sit for each other.

Not everyone has a mum who can "usually" babysit MissSunny.

If your mum was NEVER available - how often do you think you would go out then?

We'd go out together a lot less if my mum was never available. But we'd still go out a lot separately with friends. Life's too short to spend it stuck in front of the telly every night.

We go out once a week and pay our babysitter £7 an hour. The babysitter is 29 and has experience of children with special needs which we need as my older daughter has learning difficulties. It is one of the few things that keep me sane!

My DD does it for me for £1 an hour and all the skinny jeans she can wear!

Do you have friends you could set up a babysitting circle with? Where you pay in tokens they can then use to pay you when they want to go out? We live in an area with no family so I set one up so we could go out. It works really well.

We just dont go out.......

A microwave meal and an episode of the Wire is a treat!

'I'mamazed that some people hardly ever go out! How do you cope?' You just have too misssunny. Most people don't choose it that way, either they cant afford a babysitter or they have a child too ill for anyone to babysit. We fall into both categories and haven't been 'out' since she was born nearly 6 years ago.
I'm not sure what we'd do 'out' now. Stare at each other and glance at our watches I imagine!