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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a bit of an insult to our parenting?

84 replies

KateMess · 26/08/2009 16:22

DP was in Slummerfields yesterday with his nephew, aged 12. Along with a few bits of food, he picked up a bottle of wine, but was refused service at the till, because nephew is underage . DP's protestations that we wouldn't be providing rioja top-ups fell on cloth deaf ears.

DP brought nephew home and returned to make his feelings more strongly felt. The manager admitted possibly over-zealous enforcement by the cashier (who had been sent 'out back') but refused to serve DP the wine 'because he didn't much like his attitude'. He can have this second point - I've often refused him things on the same basis.

DP is 37 and so clean-cut he was once invited to join an boy-band, so don't go telling me he must have looked rough.

Is this occurring elsewhere?

OP posts:
HerBeatitude · 26/08/2009 21:15

I think they are probably told to use their own judgement, but the buck stops with them - they have to decide how likely it is that the customer is buying alcohol for the younger person.

Unfortunately, some of them don't have much judgement.

That's why they're so paranoid - because they are personally liable, not just their employer.

It's like in a pub, where the barman is told to use their judgement about whether they should serve someone who is drunk. I can't remember what the exact law is, but you are not supposed to serve someone drunk in a pub. It's left up to the individual bar-staff to decide if someone has had too much already, but I'm not sure if it's the publican or member of staff who carries the can should there be a prosecution (when was the last time you read about a publican being prosecuted for serving drunk customers?)

RoseBlossoms · 26/08/2009 21:21

lal123 - there is no law preventing 18+ with ID buying alcohol in the company of children. But this is what posters are saying on this thread!

Just think if they did try to ban pregnant women buying alcohol and fags!I fear many people would be offended!

Disclaimer - I'm currently pregnant but not smoking or drinking. But will if in supermarket buy alcohol for DH!

nellie12 · 26/08/2009 21:43

rose, its already happened here but perhaps we are all just accepting this too easily.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 26/08/2009 22:44

Thing is, shops and pubs etc can choose who to sell to and who not to sell to.

So if they refuse you, even if it is ridiculous, it is their right.

Bastards.

queenofthenewyear · 26/08/2009 22:51

I'd be b*ggered if they refused to sell me chocolate and crisps on the grounds that it might present a choking hazard to my 6-month old....

NotPlayingAnyMore · 26/08/2009 23:02

Funnily enough, I was shopping in Somerfields today, which I don't often do as I was only passing through the next town and so I was wondering if they were going to refuse the purchase of a bottle of wine because I had my 8 year old DS with me.

I think it just must've been that the assistant was too young to sell anyway as she said "alcohol" to her colleague, who just nodded. They were very busy.

Having heard of this happening before, I must admit that I was more than prepared to leave my shopping at the counter and to take my custom to my local Co-Op, which I've never had a problem with

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 26/08/2009 23:02

But, but but.....

It's not illegal for an under 18 to drink whilst in the presence of their parents, is it? I'm sure it's ok for kids to have alcohol, with adult consent. So you can give it to them, once you've bought it, but not buy it while they're with you, in case you're going to give some to them?

JackBauer · 26/08/2009 23:13

I started a thread awhile back as I went shopping in Tesco with DD's and my 26 yr old friend, we had separate shopping and she went first, got id'd, had none, got refused.
Much hilarity on my part until the checkout lady then refused to serve me my separate wine as I might give some to my friend.
Not impressed.

waitingforfanjo · 26/08/2009 23:18

This is bizarre, I've never heard of this sort of stuff happening. I'm going to try to buy some alcohol next time I'm out with DS (3), see what happens.

I want to know what happened to the assistant who got taken 'out back'

Maybe her positronic matrix was malfunctioning & they were looking for the 'restore factory setting' button.

pigletmania · 27/08/2009 08:49

How absoultely stupid. The local Co op will refuse alcohol to anyone who looks under 25 why! I thought that the age of drinking is 18, stupid stupid stupid.

QueenOfFuckingEverything · 27/08/2009 08:59

Years ago I went to a late night Tesco in Rotherham, bought a bottle of tequila and six cans of beer, put them in my friend's car, and then remembered we both needed rizlas/tobacco. At the time I was 23 and my friend was 34.

Went back in the the cigarette counter where I asked for a packet of rizlas and was refused as the woman didn't believe I was over 16! All I could think of to say was 'I'm 23 - I've got a baby' but that counts for nowt in Rotherham.

She wouldn't then sell my friend any tobacco in case he was buying it for me. Surely if I was 15, then a) the other cashier wouldn't hae sold me tequila without a second glance, and b) I would have just stayed outside the shop altogether and let my grizzled 34 yr old mate buy the lot?

nettiehay · 27/08/2009 09:51

On a slightly different note - I was having a cooling bottle of Grolsch last night and on the label there is a picture of a pregnant woman with a line through it!
While I was pregnant with DS I had the odd glass of wine or beer now and then - but what if I'd asked for Groslch? Would they have refused to serve it to me?

gettingagrip · 27/08/2009 09:53

LOL at the positronic matrix adjustment!!!

Saltire · 27/08/2009 10:48

I actually emailed my MP about this - asking for clarification and asking to ask the powers that be who set these "initiatives" (after all someone from Government must have advised the licenciing boards and supermarkets) I emailed him back in JUne but haven't heard back from him

TheCrackFox · 27/08/2009 10:52

It does seem to discriminate against single mums with small children. They have no choice but to take their DCs with them when they go shopping. Are they not allowed to drink alcohol until their Dcs are old enough to be left at home by themselves?

wingandprayer · 27/08/2009 11:12

But the jobsworths check out staff who impose these ridiculous conditions to such a ludicrous degree aren't liable should the shit hit the fan are they? The shop is, but the employee isn't personally liable are they?

My husband is in retail and one of his employees, despite being told countless times to check anyone under 25, sold an age restricted product to a 17 year old and got caught by Trading Standards. The strongest thing he could do was give her a written warning, yet he could have faced going to prison (bit over dramatic, but nevertheless one of the possible outcomes)!

PixiNanny · 27/08/2009 11:54

It's f-ing ridiculous. Me and my sister went to Morrisons last week for me to buy alcohol. She's nearly 19 and I'm 20. He Id'd us both and then asked for backup over the loudspeaker thing in the shop. Bloody motifying, we're two relatively well dressed young women, happy to hand over ID and had iot ready before we even got served and he calls backup

I was also refused fags when I had my nan's adopted daughter with me, she looks 2/3yo ffs! (No I do not smoke in front of her, but needed to top up on baccy )

Seabright · 27/08/2009 13:03

I'm now almost hoping that I get refused next time I'm buying wine with my daughter with me, just so I can lecture inform the power crazed idiots shop staff of what exactly the law does and does not say.

My DP does not always come shopping with me anymore, after I staged a sit-in in the Vodaphone shop. Can't think why he'd be embarrassed by that

pruneplus2 · 27/08/2009 13:14

Its not just alcohol. A 30+ Mum was refused service when trying to buy a Cert 15 PS2 game as her son who was with her at the time was 12 It was in Asda I believe.

Its all a bit mad isnt it?

xxx

sheepgomeep · 27/08/2009 13:18

thats a bit extreme, Iv had a bit of a whinge on another thread about people moaning about getting asked for id but this is a bit

In defence of the cashier though.. the penalties are extremely harsh for the person who sells stuff to underage people. For all he knew your dp could have been buying it for your nephew, It has been known.

The rules for this id thing is quite complex its difficult to know what to do for the best if your a cashier (as I am too)

Agree that a lot of it does depend on common sense but when your in fear of getting a thousand pound fine, arrested and sacked it does tend to cloud your judgement somewhat!

sheepgomeep · 27/08/2009 13:22

'power crazed idiots shop staff '

So I'm a power crazed idiot am?

blame the law not the shop staff. Do you realize or appreciate how severe the penalties are for a cashier if they get it wrong.

I find a lot of the customers are idiots such as yourself (but I smile sweetly and bite my tongue) Next please

oneopinionatedmother · 27/08/2009 13:23

in defence of shop staff, they do have the fear of god put in them as if a store raking in £800k per week loses its off-licence because you sell booze to a teenager, not only are you liable to disciplinay action within the store, you are also liable to a hefty (5k?) fine from Trading Standards.

though i agree where an adult is doing their own shopping with a teenager in tow, it is wrong to assume the booze might be for them (particularly if it is wine, rather than WKD or similar)

i think the whole anti-pg booze thing is oing too far. They have that rule in the USA (some states) and its daft as most don't look pg during the most dangerous phase for your foetus.

The co-op labels its own brand booze with '2-3 units per week fine for pregnant women' or similar.

thogh if i was ever challenged, I'd burst into tears and say that it was just my belly and how horrendously insulted i felt

sheepgomeep · 27/08/2009 13:24

wingand prayer.. yes the shopstaff can be arrested, sacked and heavily fined.

bumpsoon · 27/08/2009 14:24

I think everyone does appreciate the penalties shop staff face ,but some of the examples on here are ludicrous ,i mean every drop of alcohol sold could in turn be given to an underage person ,therefore the only safe stance for all supermarkets to take would be to stop selling alcohol full stop ,end of problem .

Pogleswood · 27/08/2009 14:30

Suely the age limits on Playstation games,films etc are advisory - in that at home you can decide if your children watch/play or not? So I realise it is illegal to sell to children below the age limit but surely it isn't an offence to buy a 15 rated game for a 14 year old? Is it?
My DD,who is 15 but is small and looks young,wasn't allowed to buy a 12 rated PC game recently - but they quite happily let me stand there and buy it for her,with her money,giving it straight to her once I'd bought it !