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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is a bit of an insult to our parenting?

84 replies

KateMess · 26/08/2009 16:22

DP was in Slummerfields yesterday with his nephew, aged 12. Along with a few bits of food, he picked up a bottle of wine, but was refused service at the till, because nephew is underage . DP's protestations that we wouldn't be providing rioja top-ups fell on cloth deaf ears.

DP brought nephew home and returned to make his feelings more strongly felt. The manager admitted possibly over-zealous enforcement by the cashier (who had been sent 'out back') but refused to serve DP the wine 'because he didn't much like his attitude'. He can have this second point - I've often refused him things on the same basis.

DP is 37 and so clean-cut he was once invited to join an boy-band, so don't go telling me he must have looked rough.

Is this occurring elsewhere?

OP posts:

traceybath · 26/08/2009 17:13

DH was recently questioned if he was going to give any of the bottle of shiraz he was purchasing to ds1. He was 4 at the time - ds1 that is.

All seems to be getting a little crazy.

ProfYaffle · 26/08/2009 17:16

This has never happened to me but it still winds me up beyond measure to even read about it.

bumpsoon · 26/08/2009 17:26

my SIL was told that her son who is 15 wasnt allowed to help her pack her shopping as it contained alcohol .I understand that shop assistants can be given very large fines if they sell alcohol to underage customers ,but i think alot are taking things way too far

nellie12 · 26/08/2009 17:35

not alcohol in my case but a lotto scratchcard in Tescos (should I admit to this on mn?)

Anyway I had ds1 with me who was 2 at the time and I made the mistake of asking him which colour card he liked. I asked him because I was flummoxed by the choice available and rarely buy them. The assistant refused to serve me because I was encouraging my child to gamble. I argued with her but no she was not going to serve me despite that a 2yo is hardly going to understand the concept of gambling.

Of course I could put the lotto on and spend £10 a go if I wanted and that would be alright.

I wander if some people just enjoy the power trip.

nellynaemates · 26/08/2009 17:36

Idiots, they're supposed to use their "discretion" regarding families. The law is to stop an 18 year old friend buying a bunch of 15 year olds cider.

I can't believe people are being such utter jobsworths.

Grr.

bumpsoon · 26/08/2009 17:36

Also when buying alcohol for underage kiddies ,i always ensure they wait outside out of sight

LadyOfWaffle · 26/08/2009 17:41

Yes but the law is the law. If I wanted I could buy booze and give it to a 12 year old - it's not illegal (is it? ). Bloody jobsworths.

edinburger · 26/08/2009 18:05

There have definitely been threads about this before cannot believe it still happens!

My understanding of the law is that you a have to be over 18 to purchase alcohol although staff are encouraged to "think 25"

I do not recall any mention of the law changing to disallow people with children being served? Surely our need is greater?

I often buy booze accompanied by DS who is now four.

Surely if you were being paid 50p by some 14 year old to buy him booze he'd be lurking outside as you bought it?

ElieRM · 26/08/2009 19:01

I agree with the power trip business. DP went into the local corner shop (which is run by the maddest person since King George) for emergency wine. There was a young man (about 25) stood outside the shop having a cigarette whilst his friend was inside buying something.
DP attempted to pay for the wine, after showing ID. Mad shop man stood staring out the window before informing DP he would not be serving him because he was buying the wine for the underage person stood outside. Friend of lad outside told shop man they didn't know DP. DP confirmed this. Man still refused to srve him. Lad outside came in and showed HIS ID. Yet shop man refused to serve DP, despite seeing all three of their ID'S. Because he could. And he's mad. Slightly different,I know but still farfetched.
Am jsut waiting for the dayI get refused booze in case its for 11 week old DD.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 26/08/2009 19:55

I have just informed DH that if I am ever refused alcohol in circumstances like this, the refusers will be subject to a wrath the like of which has not been seen since biblical times.

He did not look at all surprised and meekly went to get me some more cider

IUsedToBePeachy · 26/08/2009 20:14

Never yet happened to me, maybe becuase A) we both look way older than 25 (DH is going very grey indeed!0 and B) anyone being tagged along with by 4 boys under 10 needs wine.

If I was stopped though that would indeed be the last I'd shop there.

My poor friend is 40 soon, looks 40 soon, and gets refused because she isn't tall enough LOL (4' 9"). Not aware thats a criteria either.

ProfYaffle · 26/08/2009 20:16

EllieRM - How bizarre, does the man want to go out of business??

I've just been out to buy some wine, still no-one thinks I'm under 25!

HerBeatitude · 26/08/2009 20:17

It is terribly insulting isn't it?

Why do they do this? Power trip we think?

Online shopping is set to burgeon isn't it...

totalmisfit · 26/08/2009 20:24

i think a very strongly worded letter of complaint is in order to Slummerfield HQ. Complaining about it to us is great for getting it off your chest, but please, for the sake of this nation's collective sanity, make your feelings plainly known to those who invent these ridiculous 'safeguards.'

hatesponge · 26/08/2009 20:27

Two friends of mine (both mid 20's) were in Tescos recently doing some shopping. Friend A was buying some wine - cashier asked for ID, she didnt have any on her. He wasnt going to serve her. So Friend B, who had ID & was queuing up behind said Ok, pass it over I'll buy it.

They refused to serve Friend B, in case she gave it to Friend A

Am not quite sure that stopping twentysomethings from buying the odd bottle of wine was really theaim of Challenge 25....!

RoseBlossoms · 26/08/2009 20:29

So can they stop pregnant women buying alcohol/ fags?! This is just getting out of hand now!

lal123 · 26/08/2009 20:30

no point in complaining to them - they are just acting within the law. Its illegal for shops to sell alcohol to folk who they think might be purchasing for someone who's underage - the assistant can be found personally liable as well as the shop. Its not slummerfield who make the rules.

As far as I know its not illegal to buy alcohol underage - its illegal to sell it.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 26/08/2009 20:30

It was in the paper recently, father was not allowed to buy alcohol as he had his 15 year old daughter with him.

Saltire our local shop doesn't accept military ID either as according to trading standards it is not recognised by them

GypsyMoth · 26/08/2009 20:36

i wasn't allowed to buy a playstation cert 15 game in sainsburys cos had my son with me,and cashier said he'd overheard me discussing the playstation with ds.....i argued that it was for his older brother anyway,and i was discussing the playstation,yes. other people in the queue joined in and i won!! i asked ds to carry it out.....his face was such a picture!!

lal123 · 26/08/2009 20:36

Rose - no they can't stop pregnant women buying fags etc - because there aren't laws stopping it?

Squishabelle · 26/08/2009 20:48

Is this really illegal; that a person (18+)doing their weekly shop (including alcohol), cannot purchase it if one of their children is with them? If so, when did this become law? Or is it just some stupid thing that certain shops/supermarkets have decided to do?

HerBeatitude · 26/08/2009 20:58

it certainly isn't law. The law is that you are not allowed to buy alcohol for the consumption of under 18's; but it is not illegal to buy it for yourself while you happen to be with them. This is just some thing the supermarkets have introduced to cover their arses and some supermarket employees are taking it to extremes because they're a bit mad IMO.

GrinnyPig · 26/08/2009 21:02

This has happened to me in Sainsbury's when I had DD aged 15 with me.

lal123 · 26/08/2009 21:03

law is that you can't sell alcohool to anyone under 18 or to anyone who you think might be buying it for someone who's under 18.

Squishabelle · 26/08/2009 21:07

So.... I wonder if all supermarket checkout staff are now trained/told to automatically assume that someone buying alcohol, and has a child with then, IS buying it for that child? (to cover their asses). Any checkout staff on here tonight to confirm/deny this?

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