Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to either rehome or make our dogs live outside because of new baby ?

75 replies

Stannie · 24/08/2009 17:31

We have three dogs. They are large breeds but well behaved, obedient and well socialised. They are well used to older children (11 - 16yo's) mostly but have met younger (toddler sized) children and behaved appropriately with them.

The dogs are only allowed into the kitchen and utility rooms of our house, with their own area for sleeping/eating in the utility room.

My MIL & SIL are very worried about the dogs with the arrival of our first DC in 6 weeks. They are dropping hints heavily about rehoming them or at least building a run outside for them to live in. Up until now I have been quite polite and said that really I don't think it's neccessary and besides the dogs were here first and are here for life. Now I am getting a little frustrated with the attitude that they will either savage child and/or make house completely unhygenic and therefore give child terrible diseases.. I'm running out of polite now.. I just want to shout at them when they mention it!

I would never leave our baby or any child, alone with any dog and would be cautious in making sure a child does not annoy them into snapping and my house, while not meticulously clean like a sterile unit, is hygenic and kept clean anyway with dogs kept vaccinated and wormed - surely I shouldn't have to give them away to make sure my baby is safe ??

AIBU to think they are over-reacting - should I be a bit more.. er.. forthright in my next tussle with them about this ?

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 24/08/2009 18:35

Oh good grief! If everyone got rid of their dogs when they had kids there wouldn't be many dogs left with homes! They're being very silly, your dogs sound well trained and lovely.

Not sure how to get ILs to stop being so silly though...

AnnieLobeseder · 24/08/2009 18:37

I feel your pain, though... my GMIL had a complete meltdown when we sent her this picture!!

diddl · 24/08/2009 18:37

I think it´s up to you.
But depending on the size of the rooms, and how long they spend there, might they be as well off in a run outside?
But sleeping inside?

AngryWasp · 24/08/2009 18:40

pmsl It's your baby. You are the parents. It is your job to do all the necessary risk assessments. fgs what are they gonna do about it? call ss?

And I hate dogs btw!

MaybeAfterBreakfast · 24/08/2009 18:42

YANBU.

They are hysterical loons.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/08/2009 19:06

YANBU
Annie thats a great picture I have many that are similar! My favourite one of DS and the dog is on my profile.
I had alot of people asking about my dog when I had DS, I have a staffordshire bull terrier, but she is an absolute star with him and they get on like a house on fire.

Original poster
Stannie · 24/08/2009 19:13

Thanks MiniMu! We love our dogs and are really proud of their manners and their attitudes to humans.. one of them has been asked to be a PAT dog (the Rottie X)

Pasturesnew - showed OH the book and we both agree it would be a mind-settler for any concerned parties! We have doggy books etc but nothing specific to dogs and babies so we are going to find a copy. Never thought about the HV .. we live in the country though so simply assumed she would be good with the dog thing.. better to be prepared though!

GirlsAreLoud - They have never lived outside and would think being shut out was some sort of punishment - they would be distraught if they were locked out and couldn't watch telly by the aga! We don't allow them in the living room or bedrooms (bungalow!) as they are for humans - they have their space and we have ours.

Also, on a more practical note.. our kitchen is huge and is used more than any other room in the house, it's not just a cooking and eating room, it has a sofa, TV and aga plus a kitchen table where everyone congregates so they not really just "left" in the kitchen while everyone else is elsewhere.. and the kitchen/utility has tiled floors - we live in the country, our dogs are not walked on pavements, they get muddy charging about in fields, the swim in the river and get stinky when they visit next doors milking sheds! My lovely living room carpets would never survive 7stone of stinky muddy GSD! Kitchen and utility floors can be easily disinfected anbd dried!

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 24/08/2009 19:14

ABF - love the pig picture! Now that would really get my Jewish in-laws in a spin!

bethoo · 24/08/2009 19:19

it is proven that animals actually help babies develope their immune system.
my poarents were always telling me i would have to rehome my two boxers nad two cats when i had my first baby saying i could not cope etc but i managed, having the dogs got me out hte house otherwise would have ended up staying in with a baby!
two years later and third baby on way still tow dogs and two cats!
people who usually advise getting rid of pets when pregnant are usually people who dislike animals full stop.
take no notice.
there are enough unwanted animals as it is!

Original poster
Stannie · 24/08/2009 19:23

Annie - that pic is classic! I love it!

Diddl - Our kitchen is really big so they aren't too confined when they are in.. They are rarely in for hours at a time anyway - I don't work and they are outside when I am (very regularly seeing to other animals) and they can be trusted to be let out loose during the day too but they come and sit by the back door and wait to be let back in after about 45mins or sooner if it's raining!

If I really need to shut them out of the house (when we have visitors who are afraid or allergic to dogs etc) I can shut them in one of the stables for a few hours. They hate that though

OP posts:
FfreckleFface · 24/08/2009 19:35

Stannie, stand firm! I had the same reaction when I was pregnant. We've got two rotties, and people (ie, FIL) were convinced that they would eat the baby first opportunity that they got.

You know your dogs, and if you trust that they will behave in an appropriate and safe manner around the baby then that should be enough for your in-laws.

My daughter is eighteen months old now, and spent the afternoon in the garden wandering from dog to dog, putting her hat on their heads and flopping down on them for cuddles. They barely blinked.

When we brought her home they were a bit excited by the noise when she cried, so I would recommend maybe downloading crying noises for them to get used to.

Mine are gentle and very aware that she is small - the three of them are like a little gang, and I quite often find them all in the big basket, little Ff giggling because she is having her toes licked. She actually said Girldog's name before she said, 'Mama'. You do need to have rules, but as long as you do there is no reason why your dogs and your baby won't have a lovely relationship.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

AnnieLobeseder · 24/08/2009 20:27

Ff - yup, 'George' (our little dog) was one of DD2's first words! They all love each other so much!

Mybox · 24/08/2009 20:36

If it is a problem it sounds like you have the space to make their own outside area. Plus you know to keep dogs & babies apart.

notanumber · 24/08/2009 20:44

However... You might want to rehome them when the baby arrives, you never know.

I loved my cats to the point of tedious obsession - assigning them little personalities and celebrating their birthdays (yes, I'm that sad) etc

I went right off them when I had a baby. No time for them and couldn't be doing with their demands for strokes and treats when I had a baby sugically attatched to my tit.

Poor cats. Me having a baby completely ruined their lives.

puffylovett · 24/08/2009 20:50

Stannie - I second that book, I found it invaluable. In fact I will send you my copy of you will let me move in with you, your life sounds idyllic

The key message I took from it (for my very very spoiled spaniel) was to ONLY give the dog attention when the baby is in the room, so that the dogs don't associate new baby with being ignored. Doesn't sound like you're that kind of dog owner though, so I think you have nothing to worry about.

FWIW EVERYONE we knew was worried about Pops and our DC. However she has been amazing with him (despite not being good with other children) and he loves her to bits. The most we ever got was an indignant look when he was sat in her basket tugging her ears ! She learnt VERY early on to associate his pram and carseat with trips out and walks

merrymonsters · 24/08/2009 20:56

Dog owners always think their dogs are lovely and wouldn't hurt a fly.

I think YABU. Your inlaws are right to be worried about big dogs and a newborn baby. Sure you don't intend to leave them alone together, but that might be easier said than done with a newborn and other children.

pasturesnew · 24/08/2009 20:59

good stairgates help a lot

Thunderduck · 24/08/2009 21:00

Plenty of people grow up with dogs in the house. When I was born there were 2 dogs, one was a German Shepherd, and three cats in our home. How I survived I'll never know.

It sounds as though the OP is a responsible dog owner who will ensure that her dogs know their place, and who will not leave them alone with her children.

Lovesdogsandcats · 24/08/2009 21:19

Tell them to piss off.

I also had 3 dogs before kids, and never had a problem. Did not treat the dogs any differently, in fact they still had run of the house when babies were born.

Some people just don't 'get' dogs.

oneopinionatedmother · 24/08/2009 21:23

@merrymonsters -

no they don't. I was very cautious about my dog andhow she would handle a new baby. she was fine. though i still kept baby in cot whilst dog in the room, (if i needed to get up) or dog kept out by stairgate with baby on floor, or now i have two babies, dog is always out of the room we are in (as dog & toddler = two unhappy creatures)

there are lots of ways of managingit, basically. But most imporantly - dogs generally speaking know a baby is a small creature, and will not harm it any more then they would harm a puppy from their own litter. (there are a few rare exceptions every year, but on that basis you'd stop babies from travelling by car too....(higher fatality rate from RTA's than canine attacks)

and somewhere up the thread someone mentioned used nappies- a normal response from a bitch would be to rip it up (cleaning up of puppy instinct) and eat it - my bitch did this all the time with dd's nappies. PITA!

poorbuthappy · 24/08/2009 21:24

Another vote for the ignore...
With the arrival of dd1 we did take the first babygro off her the night before we came home and dh gave it to dog in her bed so she could get used to the smell.
With the arrival of the twins...well...ummm...she's quite a relaxed dog now...

The hugs I get off the dog now once all the kids are in bed and I am relaxing with glass of vino are lovely...

pasturesnew · 24/08/2009 21:56

oneopiniatedmother - used nappies comment was from me, yes our dog would go for the nappies in the same way but the reason we showed her used nappies beforehand was because our dog was a rescue dog so we wanted to check if the reason she had been abandoned on the streets was because of a new baby in her first home, and would therefore react badly (as opposed to normal somewhat disgusting reaction of trying to eat the nappy!).

katiestar · 24/08/2009 21:59

I think your ILs concern is understandable .Have just googled rottweilers and it comes up with page after page of Stories of them attacking kids.It might be easy to keep them a part when your baby is a newborn , but how are you going to manage to do that when he or she is a toddler and into everything.All you hafve to do is turn your back for a miniute and they are off ! Would a kennel outside for them in a self contained run be a compromise ?

Thunderduck · 24/08/2009 22:03

You can almost guarantee that any Rottie which attacks kids has been a poorly bred, b poorly trained and c has been left unsupervised.
The OP seems to be an incredibly responsible owner who knows how to handle and train her dogs.

ReneRusso · 24/08/2009 22:07

YANBU, definitely stick to your guns, they've made their point, so they should just accept your decision and move on.