to object to this after work drink?

[motherlovebone]

last friday eve DP was not contactable for two hours (was expecting him home at 7ish, at 9ish i got through and he was waiting for his train) he had been for a pint with a colleague. i was fuming, and said he must tell me beforehand. this morning he informs me he may be going for a drink after work, i objected.
i am already on my own for 12 hours, this takes it to 14.
i dont want this friday night drink to become a weekly thing.
AIBU?

Insist on double helpings of sex tonight to make up for his brief absence!

PSML at cleaning the hearth btw.

that's a very gracious response to a drubbing, motherlove.

It is hard, having to do bedtimes etc by yourself. I do appreciate that - as I think does everyone on this thread. And if you're looking forward to your dp coming home then I can understand why an extra 2 hours seems like he's taking the piss.

But he needs time out too - and it's not good in a relationship for 2 people to be completely dependent on each other for social interaction.

Do you stay out late much, with the kids? I sometimes go to visit friends in the day, and do bathtime there, let the kids fall asleep in the car and then I don't have to do the bedtime fight! On those nights, my dh goes to the cinema, or out to the gym. Would that be an option for you?

Glad you're seeing the other side of this now - he's not taking the piss, though I'd have been mad at him for not letting you know last week.

When my 3 were all small I resented ANY time out the house that DP had, and I BF all mine too....however, I did know I was being unreasonable to feel this way.
It passes you know, you will be a person again one day, not just a mummy machine. One day you just might want to go out after work for a couple yourself.

My DP hated it when I went to work and had a couple with a colleague(female btw)....but that was all due to his insecurities and control issues, or that's what I believe anyway.

Get kids to bed and chill if he goes out tonight- we all know about the housework shite, sometimes it can be left and the world doesn't end!!
Agree you gave a gracious response OP!

I don't think you're being entirely unreasonable - a 12 hour day looking after young children/a baby is hard work and seeing friends doesn't necessarily make it any less hard. Different when children are older and you have more breaks.

Can you come to a compromise - every other Friday?

Scarletibis - I often feel,that if I could strap my boobs onto the bloke and go to work instead of him, I would do it straightaway.

I'm back to work full time in 6 weeks and the part of me who doesn't dread it really really can't wait.

As long as you get chill-out-away-from-home-DC-and-DH-time, then it's OK that he gets it too.

How old is your DC? If v. young, then you are probably stuck to him/ her atm and it is v. easy to fall into the trap of feeling resentful at the other partner's freedom. But v. soon you will get more opportunities to not be stuck to DC and you need to make sure that you get chill out time to yourself so that you don't resent your DP's chill out/ networking time.

Kind of feel sorry for you OP after reading this thread, I can understand your frustration. I hope you're feeling a bit less annoyed. I've been at home all week (impetigo and chest infections have seen to that) with a 6yo and a 21 month old and if I get moaned at one more time for a drink or a biscuit or hear 'I'm bored' I'm going to explode. I can't wait for DP to come home just to spread a bit of the stress out and have someone to help me. However, I wouldn't stop DP going out if he wanted to because then it would mean I would definitely call in some time for me after - make sure you have 2 hours this weekend just to go out of the house yourself to buy a top or a candle or just something for yourself.

Small children can be so draining - you can't go to the loo, eat food or type a bloody postwithout them being THERE, all the time. Sometimes i think people forget how mentally consuming it can be. I work part time with teenagers who have learning difficulties and I can honestly say I'm looking forward to returning to work next week because it will give me a break from parent world and allow me to reconnect with the not parent world, and go to the toilet alone.

will talk tonight.
i just know if i was away from the DC that long i would be running home.
i guess thats why they were tied to me and not him.
or i guess thats because.
done guessing, out for lunch today, still in jimjams and havent even started the hearth.
have a good weekend one and all.

MLB - fair play to you for being so sanguine after everyone said YABU - it's pretty tough when you get a response like that

Are you cleaning the hearth because you have a real fire? In which case I can understand it needs to be done. If not, you are insane. Life is too short to waste it cleaning hearths, seriously. Play with the kids or have a cup of tea, or spend more time on mn

I have a real fire, and my hearth has been needing a good clean for about 10 months now, since winter. It still has the old coals in it. I am a slacker.

I wouldn't enjoy being away from my babies for 14 hours either, if I'm honest. But a couple of hours of "him" time may be exactly what he needs to make him a more effective father/partner.

Real fire

YABU - I am stuck at home with a baby Mon-Fri while DH works in London. But that doesn't mean he isn't entitled to go out sometimes and have some time to himself. I just make sure I get repaid in nights out. And on the weekend we compromise and each do things - sometimes together, sometimes apart.

The only time I object is if he's had more than his fair share and it's impacting on how tired I am - although even that's not an issue now that DS has stopped having his 10.30pm feed as we no longer have the issue of one of us having to stay up!

Unless you have a very young baby I really can't see the problem.