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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re- Benefits..please read..!!

196 replies

bichonbuzz · 20/08/2009 23:21

Have just watched Benefits Busters prog where women on benefits are supported to try to return to work.One of the women gets £240 pw- has 4 chldren - which coincidentally is my wage - and she stated that she wanted to return to work but felt that benefits are too high and actually discorage some people to work.She was offered a job during her course but calculated that to take this job it would mean that she would be £50 pw WORSE OFF- i just feel that the gov should have let her work and contribute something for the benefits she would continue to get - it would be a win win situation as she felt it wd help her self esteem to work (appriciate some people could nt do this due to circumstances )- She seemed upset and motivated to work and it would have been one less person on benefits - AIBU to wish that she could have been supported to do this whilst keeping her benefits ....

OP posts:
shaninemb · 23/08/2009 17:44

I really do understand that you are not a can't be botherd person. I am doing an OPEN course on top of all the hours I can work so that one day, if its possible I can earn more money and move my kids out of the crappy place I live in. I work bloody hard and get peed off by the people who sit on their backsides watching TV or Gaming all night and sleeping all day complaining they don't have enough money for food while they smoke and drink and pay for broadband and xbox live accounts and other stuff (drugs) I can't stand them. grrrrrr

LilyOfTheMountain · 23/08/2009 17:46

(and theeffects of the recession really DO vary geographically- sadly in SE wales we weren't too great even before the latest bout)

i'll stick to my MA in autism- reckon I can do a lot of good with that in the long term (and Carers Allowance is not an easy ride I can assure you)

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 17:46

I can't stand them, either, shanine, because they give all claimants a bad name, but unfortunately every system or policy amendments and society is going to have people like this.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 17:46

parents can be very understanding, try talking to your land lord, and don't think people are having a go. I wasn't, sorry if it came across that way

LilyOfTheMountain · 23/08/2009 17:47

LOL_ parents live 60 miles away and do not drive, trust me I have tried (Not sure i've met you but I used to be Peachy)

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 17:48

Exactly, Lily. That's why any change to teh system needs to take that into account.

Housing needs would ideally be addressed, too, lol! That's straying into Utopian territory.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 17:51

The reason why it's not usually possible to run a business from a home you do not own is because of insurance.

It's not a question of the landlord giving you permission, if the insurance he carries on the property doesn't allow for a tenant to run a business from the home, and it doesn't because of liability, then the tenant cannot.

And, as pointed out, the same is true for some social landlords.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 17:51

you could just look after older children before and after school and in the holidays, explain your circumstances to your landlord, you can only try. Or keep trying they might get sick of you asking and say yes

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 17:54

'you could just look after older children before and after school and in the holidays, explain your circumstances to your landlord, you can only try. Or keep trying they might get sick of you asking and say yes'

IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ASK THE LANDLORD. If you are running a business out of your home, and looking after children for money is a business, you invalidate the insurance policy he/she carries on the property as a landlord and therefore you breach your tenancy agreement.

So he can evict you.

IUsedToBePeachy · 23/08/2009 17:55

Fekkit, I hate namechanging LOL- tried and failed

You know, I don't think i'd want a parent daft enough to place their child with my ds1. I ahve bite marks atm, why on earth would they choose it? Chuck in inability to do school runs due to waiting for the other asd kids transport and we'd be stuffed.

However, as I said we're not on IS, we're working poor; I susepct we could be the darlings of the DM if I were not so damned liberal .

But also... my job involved working with struggling aprents on estates and there just were not that many of the parents you describe. Some yes, but when you got talking to most (something I was luckily funded to be able to do) almost all ahd aspirations that they could attain but simply did not beleive they were able. The solution isn't benefit reduction, but enabling- we placed mentors with the aprents (and I worked on a similar scheme in a comp) and that worked. They just need someone to say yes you are good enogh, or did you know they actually teach that sort of thing at this palce..... not all, I'm generoud but not deluded, but many though and enopugh to turn things around big time on council estates etc.

Instead as a society we demonise: a headline in the express counting us carers as doleys and a drain on society brought me to tears whilst camping last week, and we withdrew our HB claim through sheer shame. So it si clear that those rabid people who think that claimants are everywhere and nobody ahs w ork ethic any more- they're just wrong. Some do, some don;t, most people tick along doping their best.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 17:57

I'm a scummy council tennent so am allowed lol. I meant potential parents of kids you could look after. Didn't know about the insurnce thing as have never had to look in to it. Hope you sort something out anyway. maybe you could offer to pay the differnce if they would agree to it. If you don't ask, you don't get. It might come to nothing but surly it's worth a try.

IUsedToBePeachy · 23/08/2009 18:06

Seriously, being a carer is more comlpex than that- sleeping / bathing at midday becuase you can't when the boys (I have two ASD and 2 other) are about; constant appointments that would mean cancelling bookings- for me taking a course this year is a triumph of planning over reality, and I am happy with that for the moment.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 18:10

You are a childminder and you do not carry insurance?

Does your landlord know you are running a childminding business from your home?

Because that's why I said that some social landlords do not allow people to run a childminding business from the home they rent.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:15

It's all very hopeless for some people. I know people who want to work but find it hard to I am very encoraging to people looking for work. Unless you live on the 'big estates' you have no idea what kind of people live on them. There are alot of lovely hard working people too. But the discussion is about non working people and what can be done to encorage them to work. I am actually new to mumsnet forums, I am talking about in laws. I have tried for 10 years to boost there confidence and encorage them, i NERVER put them down just focus on their good points. I try to get through to their teenage kids, have let them live with me, but then they moved home and quit their jobs. To be fair they seem to be trying now (the parents) but when you get laughed at for working and called a snob for trying to do a degree you thought you would never be able to do you can get a bit angry. I have been there so I know what works and what makes people change, it is a confidnece boost. For me it was being on a childcare course and realising how much I knew and my tutor confirming it. I was told at 16 I had dyslexia and had the spelling age of a 10 year old (think I still do). I did not have encoraging parents and have had alot of ups and downs. I think mentors are a good idea. Its like a big attack zone in here, can I deal with it though??????

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:18

Of couse I have insurence, its ilegal not to and ofsted ask to see it.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 18:19

Excellent post, Peachy!

IUsedToBePeachy · 23/08/2009 18:21

It's not an attack zone, it is a debate though. They arent generally carried between threads though so in wouldnt worry.

I did grow up on one of those states- left when I was 24. I do know how it is, which menas I know thereality and humnaity of people behind the Dm / Express / headlines I guess. It is of course easy to let ex[eriences such as yours with your in laws colour opinions- natural enough.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 18:21

'Of couse I have insurence, its ilegal not to and ofsted ask to see it.'

Yes, well, you can't get it 9 times out of 10 if you are a private renter because your landlord's mortgage company doesn't allow it.

It's a moot point for many private renters because their tenancy agreement says they cannot run a business from their home.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:23

Well, I hope you find a job you love. Hopefully the job market will be better when you have finished your course

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 18:23

I also lived on a dire estate. One or the other, of both of us, have always worked. We are working poor.

I do not agree with unilateral reduction in benefits and other such policies with no flexibility in them because they are putting the cart before the horse and that is short-term, and frankly ignorant, thinking.

It'd be nice to think we as a society were more advanced, intelligent and civilised than that.

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:26

yes yes I get your point you have said it enough times, sometimes childminding is different beacause you are providing a servis and not just selling clothes or somethings

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:32

I was talking about taking beifits off people who earn 40000 but still get tax credits and child benifits. If they paid for childcare it would even out.
Your both like playground bullies, its not a debate at all. I was trying to help, you said you would love to be a childminder, but I guess I missed the sarcasem.
If people don't smoke or drink then you can always survive.

thesouthsbelle · 23/08/2009 18:33

I didn't watch the programme, but it does grate me when people get at lone parents who are 'spongers' all the time - as if it's not hard enough as it is!!! I'm lucky to have a lot of support, at the minute a fantastic job I love pays well, CTC & WTC's are all sorted out as is HB, which allows DS & I to have a comfortable lifestyle - not lavish but comfortable, hopefully to be able to provide some sort of savings for DS's future, XH also pays maintenance, which isn't included in any of the calculations for HB/TC's - which tbh is a god send.

I personally can't understand how or why any parent who is able to work doesn't esp if the child is of school age. for example I know of a lady who won't work even thou the kids are in seniors school - no she's not on benefits but they could use the cash. XP was on JSA and had no intention of working which is why he/I eventually split up - I wasn't brought up with the idea of 'oh the state will keep me and i'll bum around all day' my parents said you work, or you study but you do something that's not sitting on your butt watching day time tv. (I did mind for 2.5 years, with DS with a year of that as a lone parent on IS, but it was always agreed I would work once he was in preschool as have. honestly can't understand it - and i'm not talking about those who's children have disabilities/who's other halves etc are unable to work, but your run of the mill parent. as it were.

while I get free prescriptions, I think eye/dental care as well but not sure on that, it's due to being a lone parent - sad thing is if I moved in with anyone or XH came back etc etc then the chances are i'd loose so much in my top ups I wouldn't be able to afford to live, as my rent & CT alone is just about the same as my wages each month. then there's child care and basic living costs on top. it's sad but in a lot of way, this government has made it so you're better off alone & hasn't helped promote 'family' life, (I say it like that as I mean family with 2 parents, even thou DS & I are our own family iycwim)

oh and I'm also doing an OU course as well for a maths degree to be a teacher, hopefully to give DS's a more secure future. I think we need to change the mentality of people - ie when I was looking for work I looked at all jobs, anything to get out of the benefits trap as it were of IS. A lot of people thou will say 'i'm not getting out of bed for £10 per hour, etc etc' and are not willing to work up to that level, but as I see it for the most part, any job is better than no job, if it works (meaning child care issues here). Have also spoken to people who won't do things like shop work/cleaning/factory work etc as it's 'beneath them' and that's where the problem lies I feel anyhow.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2009 18:36

'I was talking about taking beifits off people who earn 40000 but still get tax credits and child benifits. If they paid for childcare it would even out.'

It's not that simple.

And it is not 'bullying' to point that out.

That's trying to promote an interesting discussion/debate over what can be done and what factors reform needs to take into account.

For example, some families earning £40,000/annum really need help paying for childcare. What if they live in London, for instance?

shaninemb · 23/08/2009 18:37

Thats what I meant, there are jobs out there just not the type or with the pay people want. (and not everywhere before you all get going again)