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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it is in rather poor taste to put your child in a T-shirt that says

71 replies

smellyeli · 14/08/2009 19:42

.... 'I'm not naughty, I'm autistic'

Printed in big black letters on a red T=shirt, front and back.

If it is true and said child is indeed autistic? - I'm not sure he should be labelled so obviously. Poor taste.

If it is not true and child is merely naughty? Very poor taste, IMO.

AIBU?

OP posts:

daisy5678 · 14/08/2009 21:14

I don't like the "don't blame me, I have ADHD" ones - someone bought one for J (7, autism and ADHD) once and I just knew it would become a repeated mantra that he would use every time he was told off. But at the same time, one as mentioned in the OP would be very very useful for the numerous occasions we are tutted at or even accosted by (usual elderly) judgies.

MaggieBeauLeo · 14/08/2009 21:17

My parents didn't believe it at first either sunfleurs, and as somebody else mentioned, those 3 months after the diagnosis, fcuk they are hard. ANd on top of that I felt torn in two because I could start accepting it when tehy were still poo pooing the notion of it. they have accepted it now. When he was 3 and a half and had 4 words, they began to accept it. Also, all of his words were a form of transport. Car, trakker, motobYE, lorry.

Also, I said to my MUm, well, the educational psychologist has done disco, Ados, etc and his SALT and OT thnk he has autism. HER REPLY,hmm, girls in their 20s without kids themselves.

MaggieBeauLeo · 14/08/2009 21:18

givemesleeop, what about the cloth bag? you can flash it if you need to. I've just oredered a 'what? is my autism showing?' cloth bag.

5inthebed · 14/08/2009 21:21

Maggie, my mam has a hard time believing ds2 has autism. She even thought I was keeping him in nappies just so I could get more DLA. She just thinks he will grow out of it. Very annoying.

chegirl · 14/08/2009 21:26

Frasersmum sorry about your idiot 'friend'. Better off without i would say.

Yes - eczema cures . Thing is, everyone knows about eczema dont they? I think my 'favourite' is the 'do you know he has eczema?' Like I wouldnt notice the scratching, bleeding, crying, huge boxes of skin care products in my living room!

I think I will start carrying a notebook round with me. I am going to whip it out and shout 'hang on, hang on, I MUST get every word of this down so I can tell his dermatologist!' when someone on the bus pulls me about oats, aloe vera, soya milk, lard, some £60 for 50ml tub of organic unguent....

sunfleurs · 14/08/2009 21:31

LOL at your mum Maggie. They just don't want to believe it do they? Can't really blame then I suppose. My MIL said "I have brought up 5 children and I will tell you now there is NOTHING wrong with that boy!" My own Mum said "I have been around children all my life and if there was something wrong with him I would tell you". Everyone was in denial except me. Even ds's dad said that I was making it up for attention and then when it was confirmed said it was my fault. Tool.

My ds had good speech but just repeated everything you said back to you and when he wasn't doing that was repeating reams and reams of Peppa Pig or Thomas the Tank Engine or the entire soundtrack of Disney cars lol.

Its horrendous really. All the pain of having to go through this and be told that your child has something like this and every single person around you being totally negative and disbelieving. I just felt totally alone. I always come steaming onto these threads to have a yell, they really get my goat. Though to be fair op has apologised.

Frasersmum123 · 14/08/2009 21:33

Oh yes - when DS1 was so bad he was having wet wraps and anti-biotics for infected ezcema I did lose my temper at someone he asked me if I had tried oats in a muslin - like that would cure all my fecking problems

Frasersmum123 · 14/08/2009 21:37

I do think its harder when its a family member who doesnt believe you. My Dad bless him is a lovely person, but he wont believe there is anything wrong with DS because there is nothing 'physical' Everytime I speak to him he will say 'has he got any new words yet?' - one day I might just say'Yes, today we were having lunch and he just piped up with 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' he must be cured!

daisy5678 · 14/08/2009 21:40

Yep, think bag might work well.

nicknameidlike · 14/08/2009 21:41

my dad (sadly deceased) always used to ask if ds had "bumped his head" when he was a baby that was the only solution he could come up with for his grandson being "strange"

sunfleurs · 14/08/2009 21:43

Frasersmum.

I can honestly say that dealing with all this ie diagnosis, school, dla, statement etc have been the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life but who was going to do it if I didn't? I could have done with a bit of family support tbh.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 14/08/2009 21:51

Ah, Frasersmum and chegirl; I have had eczema myself since my nappy days - only on my face and hands though, so it's not like you'd notice . If it's any consolation, you get used to it and learn to live with the bugger.

If I had a penny for every suggested cure... well, I could buy my own T-shirt to say 'yes, it's eczema. Yes, I've tried [insert list in very small print].'

So, I can very much see the point of the T-shirt in the OP. And in fact, I am genuinely grateful to MNers that I now know about all these things, as a twenty-something in the supermarket I would have been a look-at-the-bad-parents tutter .
But now I think, there but for a quirk of fate...

It must be so hard if your family are not supportive, it's bad enough having your BF/sleep routine/potty training criticised, but to be trotting back and forth to specialists and the like, only to get home and be told 'there's nothing wrong with him' or 'it's all your fault' is all I can say.

Tortington · 14/08/2009 21:55

pmsl :-x

no its not funny

Original poster

smellyeli · 14/08/2009 22:29

Without wishing to trivialise anything that's been said, I've been so engrossed in reading and learning from your posts, and looking at the NAS website, that I've left my Nice'n'Easy Mahogany Brown on for 45 minutes instead of the recommended 25. I now look like a much less trendy Vivienne Westwood. And it hasn't even covered all the grey.

So feel free to tut if you see me in the supermarket.

OP posts:

EccentricaGallumbits · 14/08/2009 22:40

tut tut.

MaggieBeauLeo · 14/08/2009 22:41

i did that recently, put a red in my hair, and whiled away the time on facebook. forgot the time. ended up looking like rita fairclough!!

MaryBS · 14/08/2009 22:49

rofl, smellyeli, maybe you should get a t-shirt made "My hair is this colour because Mumsnetters made it that way", try to cut down on the tutting!

mumeeee · 14/08/2009 23:01

YABU. It's very hard for parents of an autistic child.

BettyTurnip · 14/08/2009 23:15

Smellyeli - I nearly bought that colour today, so glad I didn't. Don't think I'm quite ready for the Vivienne Westwood look just yet!

saggyhairyarse · 14/08/2009 23:18

What a great idea!

I would like similar for my visually impaired children along the lines of "I would look where I was going if I weren't visually imparired" LOL and one for me saying "i'm not a control freak, hag of a mother, my kids are visually imparied and I am their 'eyes'".

Goblinchild · 14/08/2009 23:21

Well, now you're ginger smellyeli, you are part of a persecuted minority.
Have a T shirt
shop.cafepress.com/ginger

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