on insisting that my DD has sensible school shoes age 11

[jaxxyj]

It is that time of year again when i need to negotiate with my daughter about new school shoes, i want her to choose from a reputable make which will fit them properly, she wants fashion. She has problems with flat feet and wears insoles. She says she will get bullied. Im trying to find a comprimise on what's best for her feet without feeling I'm bowing to her response to peer pressure. Finding it hard to keep a cool head in various shoe shops!

Saxonne I shall remember that when DS gets to that age and is (still) persistently losing coats/sweatshirts - and I shall threaten to call parents of his female classmates to recover said garments

So does nobody eles' DCs have to wear wool blazers that stink of cat pee as soon as they get wet?

re coats and coldness

skinny vests, or even t-shirts, to wear underneath have cachet in some places, esp those with desirable logo visible through school shirt

fcuk are top pick round here

teamcullen eeeeewwwwwwwww thank goodness we do not.

Jaxx, YANBU - you have your DD's best interests in mind, but your daughter might think you are. I am lucky in that my DD(11) is still reasonably compliant about school shoes & I have managed to get her into Clarks again even though she is staring comp in September, it might be harder next year. To be honest we have had more arguments over choosing a pesky Rucksack than shoes.

Interesting comments about school coats - my DD's school insists on a special one for year seven only - bang goes another £20, I might not mind so much, but last years coat still fits.

Good luck on finding something suitable

teamcullen we did at school - but then in winter we had to wear woolen uniform coats which had the same issue but took even longer to dry . 'twas a long time ago - I must start taking more notice of older local DC to see what I am in for in a few years time.

agree with those who have said find a compromise. I second rocket dog too. Look in Brantano as well as schuh.

Would she agree to any of these?

Beatrice

Veronica

Elodie

Oooo I really feel for you and your daughter! I got bullied for the shoes I wore to school, which has left me with a fear of wearing new shoes even now. My DD is 8 now and just starting to mind what kind of shoes she's wearing, so I've got the sensible vs being bullied debate going on.

I know children will always find something to pick on, and shoes seem such a ridiculously small thing, but feeling that you fit in at school does make you act more confidently and less like a victim.

Like other people have said, it's all about compromise, there are so many more shoe shops out there than there used to be, it might just be a case of having to shop around more than you normally would?

Good luck

My dd is going into yr 8 and have just bought her Bootleg (Clarks?) ballet type with a strap over. She once wore a pair of cheapo slip ons to school when she had left her proper school ones at a friends- and they crippled her by the end of the day.
So no arguments so far, but then when she sees older girls slopping along in slipons with the backs down she calls it "chavvy"- so for a months at least I don't think I'll have a problem.
I hated wearing "sensible shoes"- had feet like boats, so sometimes had to wear BOYS - oh the huniliation. There are some nice styles now though.
I agree with mama- the rucksack caused the biggest issue.

Those start rites look pretty lame when you compare to the might rocket dog

Comfy yet funky

I have this problem with my 6 year old. But I'm still able to lay down the law. She has to walk/bus to school so insist autumn shoes cover her foot. In the Spring she can have open foot mary jane type if she wants.

mighty obv

I like these ones

It is a problem. My mother insisted on 'sensible' shoes and she won everytime. I am getting the benefits now because my feet are in very good shape, not having been shoved into badly fitting shoes when they were still growing. However, it was very hard to be the one wearing them after the age of 11yrs. I would try and compromise and give a little on both sides.

My dd has small, but wide, feet, so Clarkes has been the answer. I wouldn't allow ballet pumps as she has slight mobility problems. She wanted lace ups last year, and got a chunky Clarkes pair. She's off to High school in a pair of, (ugly), boys' Pod's .

Kickers

thanks for that link cocolepew that link will save me about £20

My daughter actually picked these up herself M&S as an example of acceptable. I guess at that price they may still be shit though?

Oh! Good

Anything with a strap has been vetoed by my dd!

Thank you for all your messages and suggestions. I went to the Metro Centre (live in Newcastle) with DD yesterday armed with some possibilities from your suggestions. Unfortunately things got worse before they got better! We went to Russell and Bromley who had all 3, DD tried them on and they didnt fit, assistant said she needs lace ups! Her insoles make mary jane type slip off. we even got the manager to give us a second opinion. Things went much better tho cos i felt sorry for DD and was on her side.(directly due to this thread!) shes still upset but chose a pair,
the shoes
ive promised to buy funky laces and trainers of her choice and have agreed she can wear her black crocs til weather gets bad. bought her some clip on coloured hair extensions and a milshake to make up. she seems resigned at the mo but we'll see whether i have just poured £44 down the drain! thanks again (very successful first post!)

Poor DD - fingers crossed it works out, and at least now you are no longer the enemy (on this subject at least )

thank god dd only 6 older ds dont care what they wear.m9ind ds 12 does not wear coat to school says its pain to put on over blazer and once in school there not allowed to wear so must be shoved in bag with 1001 other things