to refuse to find out the sex of my babies?

[bumblingalong]

I probably am! I'm pregnant with twins & have my 20wk scan soon & everone keeps saying "ooh i can't wait to find out what you're having".
AIBU to tell them to bugger off & they can wait till they're born even if i do find out what sex they are? Really stuggling with my hormones & can't decide if its cos I'm hormonal or just being stubborn!

YANBU...and congratulations!

We had twins (one of each), found out the sexes early on (both DH and I wanted to) but didn't tell my MIL as she was adamant she did not want to know. We somehow managed to keep from blurting it out almost till the birth (we are both terrible at keeping secrets so were quite proud of that....)
Can totally understand where you're coming from - for some reason you become public property when expecting twins

Good luck with your pregnancy and the scan

YANBU!

It is a very personal choice.

I have never been offered the choice of finding out and wouldn't want to anyway, you need a surprise after all the effort of having baby!

Good luck.

'having a baby' should really be babies for you

YANBU ,your babies your choice ,if it was me i would want to know tho !! congrats

Yanbu not to find out if you don't want to
but Yabu to get annoyed by people asking, its hardly a big deal, they are just interested

YANBU. I didn't find out the sex of DD until she was born and so many people seemed to struggle with that when people asked what I was hoping for (which to me is a bit rude) I would just reply something stupid like 'a Ferrari'.

YANBU - wow a double surprise congratulations! I have never understood why people want to find out the sex in advance (unless for medical/genetic reasons). It's one of those fundamental things I don't get. I do tend to visibly blanch when people tell me it's to help narrow down names, or because they want to decorate the nursery in advance in the "right" colours and style, or because they are, as someone has admitted on here, control freaks!! Turns something so damn exciting and precious into an event akin to a having a kitchen extension.

glasjam Yep, that was me. I found having a baby much less exciting than having a kitchen extension

YANBU.

But please dont turn into one of those dreadfully smug people who seem to think that not finding out is somehow morally superior. Blurggh. Came across so many of these when I was pregnant really got my goat as you can tell!

What Kerala said.

I wish I'd have had the opportunity to find out with my first two, but Edinburgh didn't offer 20-week scans on the NHS at all and we didn't have the money to go private.

Having a baby was a surprise enough for me and personally, I felt I bonded more with DS being able to call him by name during the latter part of my pregnancy, not just 'it' or peanut or some other such.

Not sure why you think it would be unreasonable.

Most people I know don't know the sex of the baby before it's born.
I only knew with my last 2 because I had amnios done with them so thought I'd find out. I didn't let anyone know that I knew though. They could wait

Do what you feel most comfortable with and ignore what anyone else says.

I really wanted to find out what the sex of my DCs were DH didn't...I never did though they both crossed their legs! ..

it's personal choice I wanted to know if you don't then it's up to you...

Didn't have the choice to find out with DS (had no intention of paying for extra scan) but the main reason we didn't with DD is cos DH has more willpower than me! Glad we didn't really as the first thing I said after she was born was "Told you it was a pink one!"
Like the idea of 'we're hoping for a kitten this time'

I don't mind if people find out or don't - totally their decision. What irks me is when you tell someone your decision one way or another and they have to let you know their feelings on it one way or the other, 'Oh, I couldn't wait!' or,'Didn't you want to wait and have the surprise?'.

I couldn't be one of those people that knows that other people know but doesn't want to know - you would know everyone else knew which in itself would be enough to drive me mad.

glasjam, I find having a baby magical and exciting. It's also something that needs to be considered from a practical point of view for many reasons!
Also, why does the surprise become any more surprising at 40 weeks than 20 weeks?
aS YOU CAN TELL i LIKE TO FIND OUT, BUT op yanbu - YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT!
sorry for shouting

yes exactly. It's going to be either a boy or a girl. But what it looks like, colour of hair, personality etc - they're the real surprises and can't be scanned for!

Stealth and lockets yes, I agree, that's what I meant, but I decided to go for sarcasm instead

Oh, and the Control Freak comment by me was a JOKE

Its your choice!

I did want to know because I wanted to get very well prepared before my DTs arrived just because we had a lot going on at the time (I had a small DD1, a DP who worked away all the time and a house move to get organised).

I worried that there might be less excitement when it came to their birth.........but it didn't change anything. For me, it was great knowing and so lovely listening to my DP shouting "I can see her, she's here" when I had DT1 and "I can see him, its the little boy, its the little boy" when DT2 arrived.

Different strokes for different folks. No right no wrong. Congratulations! And we have a daily chat thread over on Multiples if you need us anytime.

My reply was in response to glasjam and I think lockets was too - I have to agree I'd find a kitchen extension extremely exciting though