This really isn't really aibu but more of a moan.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

DS1 has a child psychologist who has been coming out for the last 3 weeks twice a week, to our home. DS1 told him one of the things he hates is being asked to do anything i.e load the dishwasher, empty the washing machine etc. This man has told him he doesn't see why he should be asked to do anything as he is a child and when he was a child his mother did everything for him. DS1 now refuses to do anything I ask him to do not even pick up a cup after himself. He has spent the entire morning screaming at me that Blake said he didn't have to help so he won't.

How the hell is this helping solve he problem?

This Blake has also told me i have to let him go to the supermarket alone, go to a friends and stay as long as he wants and come home alone whatever time he wants..along with numerous other things.

Oh and he wants to enrol me on a programme.....to stop me drinking coffee FFS

[nickelbabe]

my opinion is that this blake hasn't got a clue what he's talking about.

I don't understand why, if DS1 is a child, that blake should be telling you what to do about him in front of him!
he should be telling you privately.
sorry, i mean, giving you options and his opinion and letting you decide what's best for your son based on his assessment. (seeing as you're the parent and have ultimate responsibility for him)

definitely get a new CP.
NOW!

[TheLadyEvenstar]

The other thing ds1 has said today (to my sister) "If you do let me stay this week I will help mummy, otherwise forget it" Her reply? "Well forget it then I am not being blackmailed by an 11 yr old"

[KIMItheThreadSlayer]

Complain about Blake to his bosses, I am sorry but the man sounds a twat.

Also stop doing EVERYTHING for your son, do not even cook him a meal, he will soon get off his lazy back side and do something for himself.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Kimi, i have just emptied his bedroom of everything but books. no tv, dvd, ps2, mp3 nothing

[JoesMummy09]

Can you get rid of him? He sounds dangerously bonkers. Sorry you're feeling so bad today

From what you've said I'm willing to bet money that Blake is unmarried, childless and probably still living with his (very elderly) mummy... and can't wash his own socks or cook his own meals. Oh, and he's probably a virgin.

I think as long as you're not injecting, your coffee habbit can't be so bad

[GibbonInARibbon]

Must be so tough for you

First things first, ditch the crazy talk man, is there someone you can talk to about changing CP? Then you can focus all working together....please don't question what more you can do...parenting is riddled with guilt at the best of times. Be gentle on yourself and know you are doing everything you can to help your DS (and your family)

[JoesMummy09]

Sorry I meant get rid of Blake obviously... was not suggesting you get rid of your DS1

[KIMItheThreadSlayer]

Good for you, and no matter how hard it is do not give in to him, I would also see if you can get someone other then this blake chap to work with your son, he sounds at best useless at worst a groomer

[Yurtgirl]

TLE - Sack Blake he is making things worse not better
Silly man

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Joesmummy, i did have to giggle...threatened to lock him in the cellar hee hee....ds1 not blake.

I would agree he probably lives with mummy still.he certainly has no dress sense.

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

I really feel for you. My friend had a similar problem with behaviour problems from her ds she banged on every door and managed to get some social services involvement the social worker told her ds that his mum and dad were not allowed to smack him or he could call the police. Now i'm no advocate of smacking but their solution was a naughty corner that my heavily pregnant 525" heavily pregnant friend was supposed to force and restrain her 5 foot odd 11 year old son in.
This very mixed up but pretty switched on 11 year old then used this to his advantage and told social workers his dad had smacked him he was taken into care and shifted from pillar to post with his erratic behaviour escelating each time when friends solicitor demanded proper assesment of him and after extensive meetings he was found to have aspergers

In all of this her dd's had ended up on the at risk register with the threat of them also being taken away within 3 months and then this happened.
He is out of main stream school for now getting proper help and his behaviour is much improved but this story shows the heartache and tragedy from stupid people in authority telling confused children they have this much power.

[Jux]

The man's a nutter. Complain vociferously to his superiors. He should do some re-training.

[MmeLindt]

He sounds deranged. (Blake not your son)

Were you referred to him? Was he recommended to you?

You need to find a new therapist. This guy is doing more harm than good.

[KIMItheThreadSlayer]

I do think there was something to be said for the Victorian way of child raising.

[theansweris42]

Blake is an imposter

[Themilkybapsareonme]

You are all right I need to sort my head out I don't want another 10 years of this .
He is not an only child but he is a the elsest and there was quite a big age gap between him and his siblings.

[Themilkybapsareonme]

sorry wrong thread .

[Stayingsunnygirl]

TLES - is there any reason why you shouldn't lock Blake in the cellar?

[TakeLovingChances]

Blake sounds like a waste of space.

Is he an independent psy? If he is from social services or a hospital agency I'd ask to see his manager plus Blake for a meeting. Do this without your DS1 present.

In my opinion if he is an independent I'd get rid of him without even asking any questions.

Did he draw up a plan with or for your DS1 on what he wanted to achieve? By that I mean, to change certain behaviours and have DS1 feeling a different way? These plans are essential, esp as your DS1 is so young.

Also, when Blake first started working with your family did he have a meeting with DS1 plus you as in initial assessment? This is also essential. For you to see if he's the right person for the job, for him to see the interaction between you and DS1.

I feel for your family very much. Have experience of similar thing from my own family

[abraid]

Blake sounds like a washed-up hippy who's drifted into this kind of work because he needs more money for his hash.

[notwavingjustironing]

Definately offer him a coffee the next time he comes round

[chegirl]

Blimey! Just read this Has Blake been watching/reading 'Running with Scissors' by any chance? I have and your Blake seems strangely similar to Dr Finch.

That man wouldnt last 5 minutes in my house. Easy said though.

[somewhathorrified]

Wow, Blake really admires his mommy! Oedipus complex anyone. Get him away from your son and tell whichever authority that this nutter is out there. He should be working with both of you, not undermining you to DS.