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AIBU?

This really isn't really aibu but more of a moan.

69 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 12/08/2009 12:00

DS1 has a child psychologist who has been coming out for the last 3 weeks twice a week, to our home. DS1 told him one of the things he hates is being asked to do anything i.e load the dishwasher, empty the washing machine etc. This man has told him he doesn't see why he should be asked to do anything as he is a child and when he was a child his mother did everything for him. DS1 now refuses to do anything I ask him to do not even pick up a cup after himself. He has spent the entire morning screaming at me that Blake said he didn't have to help so he won't.

How the hell is this helping solve he problem?

This Blake has also told me i have to let him go to the supermarket alone, go to a friends and stay as long as he wants and come home alone whatever time he wants..along with numerous other things.

Oh and he wants to enrol me on a programme.....to stop me drinking coffee FFS

OP posts:

Report

MummyDragon · 13/08/2009 19:50

Very about Blake's about-turn, but there's probably something to be said for sticking with him a bit longer if DS1 listens to (and acts on) what he says ... as long as he does set up the ground rules with DS1 and your good self present, of course.

But you could still speak to his superior - this probably should go on record. You should not have had to go through so much additional hassle (videotaping DS1, screaming rows, etc etc) after Blake had started coming to see you. He is supposed to make things easier, after all.

Trikken · 13/08/2009 10:32

He obviously wasnt commnicating with your son very well, cos he made a right pigs ear out of that one, either that or he was talking out his bum. well done for getting it cleared up tho.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 13/08/2009 10:25

3 cheers for TLES

TheLadyEvenstar · 13/08/2009 00:39

I am letting him come back as after he saw the video of ds1 and heard what my sis and mum had to say he changed his opinion of ds1 and his behaviour, He is coming back next week to set up some ground rules along side ds1 and I.

OP posts:

lackenstrand · 12/08/2009 19:08

So you were right and Blake was wrong. Why is he still turning up? He is clearly incompetent and that's the nicest thing you could say. He has been found out for the fraud he is and you can't trust the mental development of your child to him. Ditch him immediately and establish boot-camp rules for DS. You are in charge of negotiations: If he does chores, then he gets rewards, not the other way around. And get family and his teacher, perhaps, on side. good luck.......

PeachyLaPeche · 12/08/2009 19:00

Bloody hell, what a nutjob!

Its not the fiorst time i've come across nutter Psychs- the ed psych ds3 had watched him make (alledgedly) a very ciomplex artwork that he couldnt make now (was 3 at that time, is 6 now)- and it was so good that it showed he needd no help in ms and had no isues apaprently (he is now DX asd and in a SNU school LOL0

OTOH our current CAMHS lady is seeming pretty good, so try and get another one?

not the same level as a professional but have had major grief with ds1 who has a friend whose mother is from a culture where the boys are treated like kings- she has told him not to help about the hosue, do any jobs and that I shouldn't ask him to earn his pocket money. her ds is currenlty on the out of favour list after giving me crap at only allowing him 14 (!) packs of sweets to take home froma aprty as they woudln't last long enough. Says it all, IMO.

And ds2 is famous in the family atm for asking my Mum to stop me being mean; when asked what I was doing, apaprently I won't let him have a day off from jobs and no matter what I expect him to even get dressed every day. Don't know whether to laugh opr cry (Mum l;aughed).

Not sure him criticising is great either tbh; here you get a leaflet saying nobody will be criticised.

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 18:45

TLES - 1, Nutty Blake Man - 0!!

Jux · 12/08/2009 18:36

Hooray! I still think you should report him, though.

chegirl · 12/08/2009 18:03

He may well have been doing his job for 40 years but has he undertaken any additional training in that time? Is there a requirement for mental health profs to do so?

What if he graduated in 1969 and has stuck to those ideas and practices since then?

Anyway - bloody well done. I hope this is the beginning of a better relationship with DS.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/08/2009 17:29

Well done your Mum - and well done you for sticking to your guns.

I would still contact whoever referred you to this idiot and ask for him to be replaced though. He has lost all credibility with your DS now which defeats the object.

Is DP/H on board with the discipline you are wanting to enforce?

TheLadyEvenstar · 12/08/2009 17:22

I think he is qualified he has been doing his job for almost 40 yrs he says. I was shocked when he said he had children!!

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 12/08/2009 17:19

He is a total idiot. Are you sure he is qualified????

elmofan · 12/08/2009 17:19

good on you TLES , great idea to video ds1 behaviour , hopefully now blake will cop on to himself ,
i am having similar difficulties with my own 10yr ds atm ,

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 17:18

That was a screeching handbrake turn from Blake there...

Well done you. Do you still want that nutter Blake though?

TheLadyEvenstar · 12/08/2009 17:12

I am back, Blake turned up at 3pm was meant to be here at 2.30. I was armed with mum and sister, as well as a video of ds1 shouting that blake had said he didn't have to help so why should he.

I showed him the vid and blake said to ds1 "I said I never had to help as a child, but that doesn't mean you don't have to, every parent does things differently in fact I made my children help"

My mum and sister then told him exactly where the problems were and guess what??? Blake had a change of opinion with ds1 and actually criticised his behaviour and praised me for the rest of the session (he has just left). He will be back on monday to sit with ds1 and I and to make up a list of rules that he has to stick to. So it seems having visual proof as well as my mummy actually worked.

OP posts:

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 17:10

Tell your son Blake died in a terrible accident directly attributable to his own lack of knowledge of basic household chores. A sad tale. But a cautionary one.

JoesMummy09 · 12/08/2009 16:52

pmsl at "tell your son that Blake is dead"

Perhaps of a nasty coffee over-dose? Or maybe bludgeoned to death by one of his patients

gingerbunny · 12/08/2009 16:19

see your gp and get a referral to your local child and family unit, they will work with you as well as ds (rather than against you). Blake is not being helpful and is making it worse. stupid man

LuvLee · 12/08/2009 16:01

Get shot of Blake, tell your son that Blake is dead, and start work on unravelling all the shit that Blake has filled your son's head with!

Sorry, I can't stop laughing at Blakes comments!

somewhathorrified · 12/08/2009 14:44

Wow, Blake really admires his mommy! Oedipus complex anyone. Get him away from your son and tell whichever authority that this nutter is out there. He should be working with both of you, not undermining you to DS.

chegirl · 12/08/2009 14:31

Blimey! Just read this Has Blake been watching/reading 'Running with Scissors' by any chance? I have and your Blake seems strangely similar to Dr Finch.

That man wouldnt last 5 minutes in my house. Easy said though.

notwavingjustironing · 12/08/2009 14:31

Definately offer him a coffee the next time he comes round

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abraid · 12/08/2009 14:30

Blake sounds like a washed-up hippy who's drifted into this kind of work because he needs more money for his hash.

TakeLovingChances · 12/08/2009 14:28

Blake sounds like a waste of space.

Is he an independent psy? If he is from social services or a hospital agency I'd ask to see his manager plus Blake for a meeting. Do this without your DS1 present.

In my opinion if he is an independent I'd get rid of him without even asking any questions.

Did he draw up a plan with or for your DS1 on what he wanted to achieve? By that I mean, to change certain behaviours and have DS1 feeling a different way? These plans are essential, esp as your DS1 is so young.

Also, when Blake first started working with your family did he have a meeting with DS1 plus you as in initial assessment? This is also essential. For you to see if he's the right person for the job, for him to see the interaction between you and DS1.

I feel for your family very much. Have experience of similar thing from my own family

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 14:27

TLES - is there any reason why you shouldn't lock Blake in the cellar?

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