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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For freaking out at DH because he forgot his mobile phone when I'm 38 wks?

29 replies

ellybett · 10/08/2009 20:00

Maybe it's slightly the caged animal feeling that seems to have set in since I started maternity leave that's making me unreasonable but when DH works 50 miles away from home and he forgets his phone surely I'm right to let him know I'm less than 'unimpressed'! Instead he thinks I've totally over reacted as it would only have been a problem if I'd actually gone into labour! Methinks he's totally missed the point here!

I'm not saying I want huge gushing apologies but some awareness of the hugeness of this mistake might be nice. Is 1st pg and all my family are 200 miles away so my sole support is DH which inevitably means I am taking alot all of my frustrations out on him.

I feel like in these last couple of weeks I've just become neurotic and whingey and just not a very nice person! And this last thing has just made explode! Anyone else going through this in their last few weeks!

OP posts:
hambler · 10/08/2009 20:02

Did he forget his phone once or does he constantly forget it despite being reminded?

Morloth · 10/08/2009 20:03

LOL being pregnant is a PITA isn't it?

It will be fine, just remind him everyday to take his phone with him. Labour usually takes a bit of time anyway.

famishedass · 10/08/2009 20:05

You'll be fine. Most husbands made it back in time for the birth before mobile phones were invented.

SpawnChorus · 10/08/2009 20:08

Well yes, a bit unreasonable if you're being very clinical and objective about it all. It was (presumably) a one off mistake that he'll learn from. However, he should acknowledge how vulnerable you feel right now, and should have the decency to show remorse for his failings in this instance!

Actually fuck it, you're 38 weeks pg and that pretty much entitles you to be as unreasonable as you goddam please. (says she who freaked out at the mere suggestion that DH might have to fly to Paris for the day on Friday ).

BikeRunSki · 10/08/2009 20:09

Make sure he takes it! Nag and nag and nag! My first (and only so far) baby was 7 hours start to finish and came at 38 weeks. My family are over 200 miles away too.

I became uncharacteristically grumpy too, the day before DS arrived.

Good luck!

LoveBuckets · 10/08/2009 20:11

YANBU but YABU to be surprised, men just don't have that kicking reminder every minute of the day.
I had flase labour with my first and spent all day texting my DH not to drink just in case. He was at a football match and decided to ignore my texts and get drunk in the pub before and after. He was very lucky that time and eventually after witnessing the actual birth debacle he was very very contrite about it.

MissisBoot · 10/08/2009 20:12

YABABU - I'm assuming that he has an office number which you could contact him on during the day? So that would leave him for approx 3 hours a day when he would be uncontactable.

Try not to take too many frustrations out on him now - you'll need that for when the baby's born

Original poster
ellybett · 10/08/2009 20:13

It's not like he does it all the time but it has happened before. It's almost like I felt he should be waking up thinking 'must remember mobile' and have it taped to his head before he left for work! The other thing is I'm really aware of 'mothering' him considering what we're about to embark on!

But I am aware that this isn't exactly rational behaviour! Just don't need for him to remind me of that fact!

Thanks SpawnChorus, nice to know I'm not in the boat alone! I would LOVE for him to show some remorse for his failings just to make me feel alot better about mine at the mo!

OP posts:
2rebecca · 10/08/2009 20:15

We didn't have mobiles when I was pregnant and survived. Labours go on for hours anyway. I'd get his work phone number and relax a bit. If you had gone into labour and been unable to contact him you could phone his work, leave a message at the house and call a taxi to the hospital. Having your husband there is possible is nice, but getting you and baby to hospital safely is the main thing. My husband didn't have a job he could drop instantly when I went into labour anyway, and lots of men are in a similar position. Having a back up person to call on, preferably a non working one may be an idea.

Original poster
ellybett · 10/08/2009 20:16

LoveBuckets, I think I might have actually cut something off him for that the way I'm feeling at the moment!

Doesn't help I had a really vivid nightmare last night that he missed the birth and was really horrible to me! It's typical, if it's not insomnia with only the pee breaks to liven things up it's nightmares where I wake up already having issue's with him and wanting to throw things at his head! (Am aware I'm sounding v violent in these posts, am trying deep cleansing breaths now!)

OP posts:
Horton · 10/08/2009 20:22

Haha, not violent, just hormonal. Remind him as nicely as you can bear and if he doesn't take it, shout (not nicely). He really ought to be at least a tiny bit sorry (says the woman whose DH was saying 'so can I go in to work or not?' approx ten hours before my baby arrived). Mind you, he did apologise profusely afterwards. And I said 'No you fucking can't, you tosser, now get a grip'.

LoveBuckets · 10/08/2009 20:25

TBH ellybett I was too busy to care at the time. Had contractions and back pain for the next 2 weeks solid til I just got completely fed up and jumped him which brought on actual labour at last! Bit of aerobics is what you need

proverbial · 10/08/2009 20:55

Lol at Horton! I called my OH when I was in labour with DS2 (and it was fast and furious so there was no time for pissing about), he said he was on a run (he's a bus driver) and would just go to the terminus and the return leg and could come then! I was like, noooo, call someone and leg it, you have to get here now! Lucky I made him listem as he arrived home 1.5 hours later at 5.30 pm, DS2 was born at 6.30 after only 3o mins at the hospital.

Horton · 10/08/2009 21:44

That makes me sound really grumpy and him like a complete arse, doesn't it? He's not, he just didn't quite get what was going on and I was hormonal and in labour, which I hope excuses me!

Well done for making him listen, proverbial. I sometimes wonder if their ears are actually functional or just decoration.

skidoodle · 10/08/2009 21:49

You should make him a mobile phone head mount device might help with the boredom and frustrating uncertainty of being home all day at 38 weeks.

Yabu, but apparently it's nature's way of getting you ready for dealing with bossy midwives.

Poledra · 10/08/2009 21:51

When i was 38 wks with DD1, DH was out at the pub. Time for last train came and went, no DH. Started calling him (please note, I was not in labour), couldn't get through on his mobile. He finally comes in at 11:45pm whereupon I shriek 'Where have you been?' and burst into tears.

He'd met our neighbour on the train home and gone to the local for a pint. Which was all of 2 doors down from us, but has no mobile signal. Which DH didn't realise, but assumed all was fine as he'd had no phone call and was, after all, pretty near home.

What makes it worse is my mum was staying with us, so it wasn't like I was on my own

So, next to me, you look eminently reasonable

skidoodle · 10/08/2009 21:55

LOL @ poledra

So cute: where have you BEEN? at 11:45pm

And your mum right there looking after you. Pmsl

Poledra · 10/08/2009 23:57

I know, skidoodle, I know!

I promise I was a damn sight more relaxed for DDs 2 and 3 - in fact, I sent him to work when I was in early labour with DD2, as he was getting under my feet

DollyPS · 11/08/2009 00:05

PMSL @ Poledra too.

I was like that as well with first and he was only next door as well.

kitkatqueen · 11/08/2009 00:24

It must be the day for it DP left his phone at home today and works 1.5 hrs away and I'm 39 weeks with no4. He was also supposed to be staying there tonite and coming home tomorrow night!

Men!!

Rang his boss and he sent him home tonite instead so I can send him out tommorow c/w phone.

Its not the 1st time nor will it be the last

LoveBuckets · 11/08/2009 10:22

Oh that's a good idea to go straight to the boss and frighten the pants off them instead, cut out the middle man.

kitkatqueen · 11/08/2009 14:50

Ah boss is very old friend - so its not quite as it sounds The panic in his voice when he heard my voice on the phone was funny tho

cheesesarnie · 11/08/2009 14:52

when he forgot his phone did you go into labour?

no?

kitkatqueen · 11/08/2009 14:55

Who ? Me ?

cheesesarnie · 11/08/2009 15:00

no op