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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not allow DD2 to go on this trip and say no to my friend?

59 replies

lettuceinthegarden · 07/08/2009 16:36

A friend of mine rung up this morning to say she was going on a day trip to France at the end of August with her DP an DD. She then went on and told me she'd bought a ticket for DD2 to go with them (she's 8).

Feelings about it at the moment are:

  • I don't feel happy letting her go tbh. I rung and told DH and he said there is no way she is going.
  • Friend has never mentioned it before and is only telling me after she's booked it.
  • She lives round the corner, so I can't say we're going away as she'd see!
  • Don't really know her new DP and not sure I want DD with them for the day in France ( There is a story behind that but I don't think its necessary to post that here).

Just want advice really. AIBU to not let DD2 go?
I feel a bit of a meany now i've posted this but I just don't feel comfortable with it.

How do I tell her? She's can be quite fierce and secretly, I am scared of her or saying no

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 07/08/2009 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 07/08/2009 23:46

I wouldn't make excuses, just tell her the truth. She sounds like a right fruitloop. It's good that your DD is moving classes, hopefully her DD will latch onto someone else!

VeronicaMars · 08/08/2009 00:02

If she is normally over bearing then I would say out straight that you don't feel comfortable with it and that while the thought was nice it's not going to happen. If you feel funny about saying it then tell her you wouldn't want your dd going on a trip like that with anyone except you and your dh.

LuvLee · 08/08/2009 01:06

If you don't want your daughter to go, then don't let her. You don't need to have an excuse, this is your child for goodness sakes. Go with your instincts.

TwoHot · 09/08/2009 13:05

What did you decide to do?

Original poster
lettuceinthegarden · 09/08/2009 19:37

I am going to explain that we're not happy with her going without DH or I and ask if there is anyway I could go with them. If they say no, then DD won't be going!

OP posts:
Bumperslucious · 09/08/2009 20:19

This does sound like an odd friendship. Does your DD actually get on with her DD?

What is it that she says that scares you? You are a grown woman you shouldn't be made to feel scared by another woman.

Think you are doing the right thing by being honest, though sounds like it might be difficult to stand up to her.

bumpyboo · 10/08/2009 11:58

This doesn't really sound like a friendship to me.Sounds like you really need to minimise contact with this person as much as possible, tricky, I know as your daughters are friends.
She sounds like a bully and I think its best to be honest about how you feel as then she will not be given a chance to constantly push you.
If you stand firm she will come to realise that you can't be manipulated anymore.
I'm not sure I would say that you could go with them, you might end up actually going with them! By your posts this sounds like something you don't really want.

drosophila · 10/08/2009 12:09

How would you feel if it were a day trip in the UK. Just curious as I know someone very similar.

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