to think that our neighbours decision to replace the fence right now is well really rather cunty

[Woooozle100]

dh has spent last 8 yrs cultivating lovely evergreens and climbing ivy, jasmine and all sorts of other loveliness up the fence

its summer, we're selling our house and garden is a big selling point

they've decided to get the whole fence replaced tomorrow. DH said last week when asked about this that we weren't keen, it would knacker our garden and offered to go and replace the single (!)rotten fence panel. We are quite friendly with these neighbours

Whilst they have every right to change the fence that they are resonsible for, the timing is shoddy and it doesn't show much consideration for us.

AIBU to think they are turdy arseholes as a result?

Can all those who have got their backs up over this and said OP is BVVVVU, honestly say that they would not be annoyed if this happened to them?

Unfortunately, the fence ownership might stand in your way pixie and I don't think there is an ideal time to do it (before/after sale) But that doesn't mean neighbours couldn't discuss this fully with you and come to an arrangement that suits all round, rather than spring the gardener on you.

As for the so-called potty mouth - I'm sure there are loads on people on here who have to watch their mouth in RL and then choose to vent on here. That's what MN is good for - saying what you wouldn't elsewhere! I'd much rather you said cunty and turdish here than in front of children! I find your tone quite light and jovial OP, and I hope that's how it was intended.

and B-R-e-a-t-h-e.does that feel better?

p.s matter of fact, and latterly, light and jovial was how my post was intended.

aye light and jovial. That's me. Like the froth on a very lively beer that hasn't finished brewing yet! Cmon now - how can turd be taken seriously as a term of offense? What about plop plops?

thankyou CurlyCasper and Pannacotta - dh is the gardener. He's v upset about it - he's upset about leaving the garden full stop

FWIW when he started the climbers off we had no idea who's responsibility the fence was. The old neighbours couldn't care less. We replaced most of the panels 8 yrs ago. Loads were missing.

indeed,and concurring with said joviality i sought to add to it

I think everyone should give you a break. I uderstand totally where you're coming from and don't perceive you as being rude - just frustrated with the situation, which is totally understandable.

You sound like me - I post like this, ie a bit tongue in cheek and 'dramatic', everyone gets on my back, I feel as if everyone has taken me completely the wrong way on purpose and then spend the whole time trying to reword what I've said to reflect what I actually mean, wishing I hadnt tried to make it light hearted in the first place and getting more frustrated.

think we should lay off tongue in cheek and cunty inferences

stick to talkin about yer bush

ah x-post.

People refusing to assume the best of your intentions is all very boring.

I'm with you biscuit. Unfortunately people take me like that in real life too, which can be really frustrating!

At the end of the day, climbers climb and they don't give a damn toss hoot who's fence it is

YABU. Our neighbour has grown all manner of loveliness up our shared fence. What do we get to looks at - a very rotten fence, and a billion creepers of plants we don't want coming through the panels, including ivy right by the DC's sand pit. We are now having to pay to replace their fence because we are sick of looking at it. Oh, but first we have to cull the 6 foot tall really thick wall of greenery.

at Scottishmummy, from a fellow jovial jock

arf scottishmummy. Don't get me started on my overgrown bush

On a more serious note, I'd like to think that if either of my neighbours had a problem with my virginia creeper, nasturtiums, 7 ft squash plant, climbing beans,or the other climbing flora inhabiting my garden and (possibly) their fences they'd actually have a converstion with me about it, preferably in the early days, before any bush decapitation is required.

Communication - it's a wonderful thing.

my puerile humour i thought bush and tittered

thankyou biscuitstuffer and curlycasper (I'm all behind on this thread cos I go to reply and then go off and do other stuff)

Whilst I care very little what strange people think of me over the internet, tis a bit nice to think someone is on the same wavelength iyswim.

Yes cc - even giving dh more than 1 day to try and salvage the garden might have been tad more considerate.

YANBU!

I'd be hopping mad!

You're lucky tho. wish my dp would lovingly cultivate things up side of our fence. Now he's packed up the fags he doesn't even go in the garden [siiiiiigh]

I wd be distraught - love plants!!! i dont think you are being unreasonable !!

Your plants and garden look lovely and things will be at the peak of growth just now.

Will you be meeting the new buyers?

I would be open with them and explain the situation then see if they are interested in gardening.
Ivy is fairly tough and will take being moved in it's stride. Clematis may be more difficult to move but it is easy to take (lots of) cuttings to your new home.
Your dh may want to pot up plants which are special for him.

The fence renewal does not leave you much time but if the new buyers saw an open area between the new properties then they would surely think of creating a boundary!

It is unfortunate timing and even if your neighbours delayed the fence for a week then it would be easier for you to move the plants. Would they compromise?

Good luck with the sale and your subsequent house move.

I would be upset too, don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

Could they leave the existing fence alone and put up their new one next to it? Might be a happy compromise (unless all that's left of the garden is fence!)...

When we bought our house we viewed it a couple of times and there was no fence, we moved in and there was a fence! Didn't bother us, in fact we were quite glad of it, seeing as gardens are on a slope so each garden is 3ft higher than the last.

We then put our own fence up on the other side and have put loads of climbers up. Privacy is a very important thing, but then so is tactfulness, timing and consideration. Can't you reason with the neighbours?

Are you absolutely sure they own the fence? Have you checked your deeds? We used to live in a terraced house and all fences were shared responsibility. If that is the case, they can't actually replace the fence without you agreeing.

I think you are being unreasonable purely on the grounds of using the word c*y!

Vile, vile, vile!

I do think you have a point. I would have given you more notice so you could salvage plants - at least time to stick some sticks in the ground to support them when the fence comes down.