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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

interfering old woman!

37 replies

gingerbunny · 04/08/2009 22:38

While out shopping today, I was stood at the check out paying and my 8 month old baby had begun to cry. He was tired and he's teething (cutting 4 teeth at once, poor little sod.)
This old woman came up looked in the pram and said 'what's the matter little man, are you too hot?' and proceeded to take the blanket off him. (which wasn't really covering him anyway as he was chewing on it, because of his teeth.)
I couldn't believe it, I told her he was teething and that he was just the right temp, thank you very much and told her to put the blanket back. She looked at me gone out and walked off
It was really annoyed me! aibu?
Also old people in shops not saying thank you when you hold the door open for them, especially when my 3 year old always says thank you and having to explain to him why they haven't said thank you to him when he's held the door open for them. Have also really peed me off today!

OP posts:

liahgen · 04/08/2009 22:40

Looked at you gone out!! Are you a northener bunny?

Haven't heard that expression down here before.

silly old bat. I find old people are rude to kids, I always make a point of saying loudly to dc's , "don't worry not all people have good manners" or something similar

kittywise · 04/08/2009 22:41

Well I am always looking at babied and thinking they have WAY too many layers on! so yabu

But the bit about not saying thankyou is really crap, manners cost nothing. I have taken to saying " say thank you" in a loud voice to those who don't.

liahgen · 04/08/2009 22:43

kitty so you would take the blanket off someone else's child would you?

Maybe the child has a conditio that means they can't regulate their body temp and need to stay covered.

Way over the line imo

Mybox · 04/08/2009 22:46

yanbu - she shouldn't have adjusted his blanket. Some people just don't think. Also agree on how rude some people are in general.

SlartyBartFast · 04/08/2009 22:51

i dont think it was rude, interfering, but people complain when people don't interfere - ifkwim... silly old biddy, live and let live.

SlartyBartFast · 04/08/2009 22:52

and wasnt it a bit Hot today anyway ????

cat64 · 04/08/2009 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumcentreplus · 04/08/2009 23:05

She wasn't thinking ..just being mumsy I would'nt take it too personally

Original poster

gingerbunny · 04/08/2009 23:11

thanks for all of your comments,
Liahgen - not Northern, Lincolnshire!!
Liahgen and kittywise - i will try those remarks in future.
SlartyBartFast - not hot here, pissed it down most of the day.
[

OP posts:

liahgen · 04/08/2009 23:16

Lincolnshire of course, (hail from myself)

Original poster

gingerbunny · 04/08/2009 23:21

liahgen - and you've never heard the phrase 'gone out'? shame on you!

OP posts:

liahgen · 04/08/2009 23:40

No, I have, brings back fond memories, but now living in Kent, it's just not the same down here in the South.

Original poster

gingerbunny · 04/08/2009 23:51

i see, we do have odd saying up here don't we! think most of mine stem from my grandad, who is a proper lincolnshire yellow belly farmer.

OP posts:

liahgen · 04/08/2009 23:55

eyup?

We lived in a tiny village all our childhood where everyone knows your business before you do.

Just my niece there now, have to work on getting her and her family down here cos when they close the steel works, the lights will all go out I think

Original poster

gingerbunny · 05/08/2009 00:07

sadly i think you're right. it will have a huge knock on effect.
we often think about moving away, but dh and i both have really good jobs here and our family are a huge support to us, so while the dc are so young it would be hard to move away.

OP posts:

hambler · 05/08/2009 00:17

she was being kind. In her own way.

You are not being unreasonable to be pissed off at her (annoying)brand of kindness but it is nice if you can hide your annoyance.

Original poster

gingerbunny · 05/08/2009 07:46

usually i would hid my annoyance, but yesterday i just couldn't. I think i'd just come to the end of the line with old people being rude.

OP posts:

kittywise · 05/08/2009 12:02

liahgen, no I wouldn't have adjusted the blanket because I don't have the guts, there was nothing wrong with her doing it. It's called community.

ginnny · 05/08/2009 12:07

It was well intentioned though.
I think YABU. It was a kindly old lady trying to help.
Its not as if she hurt anyone is it?

liahgen · 05/08/2009 13:42

Kittywise, i'm sorry but mentioning it if she thought baby looked warm was one thing, actually removing a childs blanket when parent is there and unconcerned is quite another.

My nephew does have such a condition, his body temp can drop dramatically and quickly.

Yes well intentioned but you don't parent a stranger's child, just dont.

mumof2222222222222222boys · 05/08/2009 13:52

Is there a single mum out there who hasn't had a daft old biddy do something similar? I had a very happy 3 week old baby in the supermarket in a trolley...and was told he needed a hat.

He didn't.

And I really didn't need the comment.

barnsleybelle · 05/08/2009 14:08

YANBU... Drives me mad that kind of thing.
I had dd in the buggy the other day and a lady got hold of her bare feet and said " oh sweetie are your little feet cold" !!! Dd looked up at her and just said "no".

halfbakedcookie · 05/08/2009 14:12

When my DS was a tiny baby, we stopped at motorway services to change his nappy. DH took him in while I stayed in the car and when they came back out he was all flustered as a small group of old ladies started cooing over DS as they walked in, and then tried to wrestle him of DH, saying that one of them would change the babies nappy as it 'wasn't right for a man to be doing it'.

Poor DH was really taken aback and hot footed it back to the car to change him. It really knocked his confidence and he would never take DS to change in public again after that.

A friend of ours had the same thing while giving his 1 yr old daughter lunch alone at a Little Chef, an old bat came over and insisted that he wasn't feeding her right and tried to take the spoon off him to do it herself. Lots of nasty comments about how the poor little mite needed a mum to feed her, not a man

There are lots of helpful, well meaning people around, but there are some mad old bats with funny ideas about too.

halfbakedcookie · 05/08/2009 14:15

barnsleybelle - comments dircected at the parents but delivered to the baby wind me up no end! I used hate that when DS was a baby. I always wanted to say "well, if you are expecting him to answer your quesion, you are in for about a years wait".

lottiejenkins · 05/08/2009 14:18

When my ds (with special needs) was having a paddy in the supermarket when he was about five i had an old biddy come marching up and say to me "that young man needs a good smack on the backside!"
My response was equally brusque, "You old lady need to learn to mind your own business as you dont know anything about my son do you?"
I picked up my son and walked off leaving her mouthing like a goldfish!

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