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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

interfering old woman!

37 replies

gingerbunny · 04/08/2009 22:38

While out shopping today, I was stood at the check out paying and my 8 month old baby had begun to cry. He was tired and he's teething (cutting 4 teeth at once, poor little sod.)
This old woman came up looked in the pram and said 'what's the matter little man, are you too hot?' and proceeded to take the blanket off him. (which wasn't really covering him anyway as he was chewing on it, because of his teeth.)
I couldn't believe it, I told her he was teething and that he was just the right temp, thank you very much and told her to put the blanket back. She looked at me gone out and walked off
It was really annoyed me! aibu?
Also old people in shops not saying thank you when you hold the door open for them, especially when my 3 year old always says thank you and having to explain to him why they haven't said thank you to him when he's held the door open for them. Have also really peed me off today!

OP posts:

barnsleybelle · 05/08/2009 14:19

yes halfbaked! That's why i thought it so funny when dd said "no"!! Mind you she says no to every question at the moment so didn't mean much

SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 14:21

Oh for heaven's sake, she adjusted his blanket, she didn't strip him naked and sponge him down whilst phoning social services.

halfbakedcookie · 05/08/2009 14:21

ha, brilliant barnleybelle, I bet the old woman was taken aback though!

random · 05/08/2009 14:23

Sounds like she was just trying to help? ..

Looking gone out is a commonly used expression here in Leicester

kittywise · 05/08/2009 17:45

liahgen, I disagree, as I said, it's called community.

Original poster

gingerbunny · 05/08/2009 20:06

thanks for your comments there are some very mixed views.
soupdragon- she didn't adjust the blanket, she took it off him.
kittywise - community is about being part of a community, where you know the other people around you and you try and help each other out with their consent. Not walking up to a complete stranger and their child and doing something to that child that has absolutley nothing to do with you.
i can see that she was maybe just trying to help, but dancing around in front of him would have being trying to help, not removing something that she had no right to do, which resulted in him shouting even louder!

OP posts:

barnsleybelle · 05/08/2009 20:23

Ginger... you are right, i would imagine a stranger reaching down and dragging your blanket off when you are already screaming is pretty scary and absolutely no help whatsoever

juuule · 05/08/2009 20:30

I think you're just being miserable.
She was trying to help. She was being nice to your baby. Nothing wrong with that at all.
You could have just smiled and possibly made hher day and then adjusted the blanket how you wanted it.

As someone else on the thread has said, it's nno wonder people keep themselves to themselves.

kittywise · 05/08/2009 22:20

I agree juuule, people are far too closed off and precious.

Community is about acting as a group for the interest of those within the group, not just for people you know

jellyrolly · 05/08/2009 22:38

YANBU gingerbunny, this really bugs me too. It's not the trying to help that annoys me; it's the ignoring you and doing things directly to your child and insinuating that you can't look after them yourself that annoys me. I used to find the old lady's "ooh someone's hungry" comments particularly annoying and want to say, yes I just starve my children for the hell of it.

An old lady once forced my ds1's gloves on him tutting, saying he should be wearing gloves he's cold etc and he just look at her and pulled them off, quite theatrically. I think even he knew it was rude! I wouldn't march up to an old lady and shove her hat on if I thought she was cold.

CherylCole · 05/08/2009 23:17

Well I had a nice Italian woman tell me my firstborn was too hot and I started on this, she'll protest and tell me if she's too warm thank you rant and then looked down at DD who had beads of sweat running off her tiny nose.
So maybe it was just me but when I had 2 under 2 and was existing on 3 hours sleep a night, my blanket needed removing and I was grateful somebody did it for me.

curiositykilled · 05/08/2009 23:34

You were a bit rude. Other people like interfering with babies she probably thought she would be helping. I once had a stranger physically re-arrange dd on the breast because she thought I was holding her wrongly and used to be a midwife. I hadn't been talking to said stranger, she just came up and molested me. You have to let these things go, they'll happen all the time and if you let yourself get wound up you'll be constantly stressed.

I like the old ppl in sainsburys that take advantage of the pram being in front of you to push in the queue and get served first (once for whisky, cigs and a copy of bizarre magazine). You have to learn to laugh and feel smug about being so patient and clearly so much better than them.

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