...for being concerned about my weight (don't read if you have weight issues)...

[nybom]

i'm 5.8 and have always weighed around 55 kg, never more than 59, even after having my first DC. i've never dieted and i eat whatever i want.

after the birth of second DC my weight was in the normal range (58), but the last half year (he is just over 1 year old now), my weight has gone up by a stone!!! (64kg), and for the first time in my life i FEEL fat.

it is horrible - i don't fit into half my trousers, i've got a flabby stomach if i sit down and i've stopped wearing shorts or skirts higher than kneelength.

i've started limiting certain food (i usually have all chocolate, crisps, cream, cheese, alcohol almost every day), so, say, i will have a glass of wine less, or not eat crisps AND chocolate every day but only one or the other. i think my calorie intake is at least 3000 a day, but i'm still BF and hungry! also, i probably have about 7 portions of fruit and veg a day, i only drink water, so my diet is pretty balanced and healthy, well, apart from the quantities and the treats...

i know many women would wish they had my problems but to me it feels like a problem because i never had to worry about my weight.

does anybody have the same "problem", and can someone please tell me that i'm YABU!

I wonder if it is age.

Had babies at 29 and 31 and lost the weight at 6 and 12 months. Had another baby at 33 and still trying...

For me it was hitting 43 not 30 - but rather than age, it was a particularly stressful time which co-incided with getting a new Aga and convincing myself that I had to make the most of it and bake cakes several times a week!

From what I've learned, your metabolism doesn't necessarily slow down with age but your muscles deteriorate, which means your body doesn't burn energy so efficiently - result being weight gain.

I agree that exercise is the key, but really, you'll help yourself by not eating the junk every day - my compromise is to restrict the treats to special occasions and maybe the odd bit of cake or chocolate at the weekend.

I've lost a stone in the last 9 months but I know the remaining stone won't go unless I start to build up a proper sweat a few times a week.

Have started to use a Davina McCall DVD, which seems okay - makes me sweat but I can still walk the next day, and means I don't have to leave the house.

I'm sure there are threads on the best exercise DVDs.

I think rather than needing to limit what you eat and drink, I would say exercise is the answer, because, you say itäs more the flabby feeling that is getting to you...that way you probably go down in weight anyway, but you tone up at the same time...

ooops not isäs it's....typing on a german keyboard...and it's a bit confusing right now, lol

NANCY you can't put botox in your bum though can you

how much do you run? apart from my other light exercise i run about 3 times a week for half an hour. just after my lunch brake (i work from home). i feel it is enough to get my heart going and i feel really fresh and awake afterwards. maybe it's not long enough to loose weight...

since my teens my weight never really changed much +-1kg and my eating habbits are pretty much the same as well. i've changed nothing appart from becoming older...

my late mum was A LOT thinner than i was (size 0) until she had her second child (my brother at 38, and BOOM - up 5 dress sizes...

tis the joy of motherhood (and age!)

tonal exercise is your best bet (pilates etc) as you do lots of aerobic stuff

God, everyone, she's only 31. I don't think it all goes south and is hopeless the minute you hit 30 (I'm 34) but it's possible with the added complication of BF you've got used to eating more than you currently need. And is it also possible you exercise less with two children? I agree with earlier posters you probably need a bit more exercise. And you probably don't need to eat that much less to get a result as well. When I'm trimming it back I go for cutting out the "bad Cs" - chips, crisps, chocolate, cheese. Give it a go for a while and see what you end up with.

Nybom. I run minimum of four times a week and five if I can. I do 3-4 'easy' runs of about 45 mins and then a big one at weekends of around 75-90 minutes.

No, you can't Botox your arse. But you won't need to. You'll have the body of a goddess - but the face of an old trout.

I'm your height and usual weight and agree that at 64kg I would feel very uncomfortable.

Cut out the junk food and most alcohol! One or two glasses of wine in the evening are OK, but crisps and chocolate are a real no-no.

lol at "bad Cs" - those are exactly my vices...

and lol at 45min = "easy run" - i just did an easy run of 15 minutes because it is raining and i have swineflu a mild cold...

Yes, I've noticed this as well. I think it's an age thing; my body has changed and I've put on weight and I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

I'm on an increased exercise programme at the moment (gym/jogging 4/5 times a week, walking every other day for about 1/2 hour), but how long does it take before you start noticing? It's been about three weeks and no weight lost so far.

Perhps it would be better to think in terms of body fat % rather than weight - as you are clearly not overweight. I have to admit to feeling slightly dismayed at people admitting how heavy and overweight they feel at 64kg. (I know, I know - it's all personal perspective!) At 5 10 I am 70 kg (would prefer to be 68, which is my ideal). However, I am a size 10-12 and have a body fat which is right for my age (25%) because I work out ( a lot). I like to think that a fair amount of my weight is muscle because I have a flat stomach, toned abs and no bingo wings. (Less then ideal arse....but there's always going to be somewhere like that!)My exercise regime means I have a pretty good silouette in clothes. Would love to be 'dainty' and 'petite' but that would not be me unless I literally starved myself. Much happier at this weight, setting a good example to my daughter by showing her that girls DO sweat and its a good thing.

NOTYUMMY even so, i weigh too much as my body fat is 25% which is TOO MUCH for my weight and size...

i look okay in clothes too, but i've noticed even with a normal top on there's a bit of a tummy showing. in fewer clothes i look great from the front, but not so great from the side (stomach) and even worse from the back (arse and legs (one item nowardays))...

actually, i WAS firmer 1 month after giving brith to DS2, this has nothing to do with having had a baby, at least not directly (maybe slower metabolism or something similar), but i popped back into shape after a week. it is pure fat pulls disgusted face and grabs love handles furiously ...

I could have written your post except that the increase happened to me after having DC3 (now 8 months) plus turning 35. I hate not being able to fit into my old clothes and always having to suck my stomach in.

I'm still bfing lots so am constantly hungry and partly because of the two older DCs I do a lot of baking (cake sales etc) so though I don't buy biscuits etc there's often cake in the house. I also work from home freelance part-time which does not help my tendency to graze all day!

I have no time to exercise so I take care to walk everywhere rather than drive or bus but I think that for the first time in my life I might have to start watching what I eat - up the fruit and veg and forego the puddings and constant cakes. And second glass of wine. And Tyrrells. And Fruit and nut.

nyborn - your weight has no bearing on your % body fat. You could be a 12 stone athlete at your height and have a really low body fat. Please look at this link (you cangoogle plenty of others and they will show roughly the same figures):

www.purpleweightloss.com/articles/body-fat-percentage.php

Your body fat is well within the healthy range and actually towards the lower end. Are you sure you are not getting confused with BMI - this is COMPLETELY different to body fat %? However with your weight/height then your bmi would be almost exactly 22, which is the most healthy BMI to have, as proved by numerous studies. A BMI of 22 means you are much less likely to get ill etc

You seem to be very hard on yourself!

Happened to me, too. After having kids/hitting my thirties I gained weight. Before that I could eat what I wanted in vast quantities and never put on a pound, always a size ten. I think you just have to change your diet and exercise more, unfortunately. No other way to sort it.

Happened to me around age 32. I suddenly ballooned from about 59kg to up to 66kg in a couple of years, despite eating a lot less than I did in my 20s and doing at least as much exercise. I hated it as well, definitely felt fat, and had drawers full of clothes that no longer fitted, but was still within "normal" bmi range, so doctor did not care.

In the end, I discovered that my thyroid was slightly underactive, and I've been on thyroxine for the last few months. I'm also pregnant so I won't know whether the thyroxine has had an effect on my metabolism, but I seem to be more streamlined in some areas I wasn't before, and have put on a lot less weight than in previous pregnancies, so I think its also had an effect on my fat levels.

I don't think it's a hitting thirty thing. I always put on loads when breastfeeding. I always felt horrible and fat but I just put up with it till the feeding is done and then started at the gym. If you're still breastfeeding it's probably too soon to be starting a fitness regime anyway.

Wait a minute, 64kg is on the low side of healthy. Being 55kg at your height would make you underweight - maybe your body needs the extra weight to support the breastfeeding?

Pilates is the answer here I think - it will tone you more and make you look 'longer' - well that and some good shapewear...

I am the same - same height and weight. I put on lots with our third as I breastfed him for ages and just got used to the increase in calories I could have. I tried to convince myself I was unfit etc, but the bottom line was that it was just spare fat hanging there despite me doing lots of exercise.

I gave up sugar for a bit and that helped a lot and stopped my cravings for junk food.

I'm the opposite end of the scale weight wise than you are, and while i would adore being a 10/12 i can understand how you feel being bigger than you're used to. You are not fat but i can respect it is how you feel.

A few tips though is that you need to try and look at what you are eating, and the exercise as people have said is very important (it is working for me - very slowly...) You need to go for more filling foods as well as fruit. Things like wholemeal bread, pasta and rice keeps you fuller for longer and if you are upping your fibre content, up the amount of water you drink. I eat a lot of veggie soup, fills me up and good for me. The other thing is if you are craving chocolate, an Options hot chocolate drink is quite good - satisfies the chocolate craving, the drink fills you up and gives the warm glow you are looking for without the calories...

Don't get too hung up on it and good luck

"Wait a minute, 64kg is on the low side of healthy."

No it really isn't! It's toward the bottom of the healthy BMI range - but it is healthier to be near the bottom, rather than in the middle, of the healthy BMI range.

Interesting Bonsoir - I have read exactly the opposite research - that those in the middle of the range have less incidence of illness.

Having said that, there is a fairly wide weight range between 19 and 24.9, so I am sure the actual health differences between the top and the bottom are neglible.

The BMI calculator I used put the op at 5 8 and 55kg just into the unhealthy category at something like 18.8. Those sorts of numbers are obviously so close to 'healthy' that it makse little difference - however really not a weight that anyone necessarily should crave to be surely?