Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to yell "you must be joking" at BIL & SIL. They want to take ds on holiday with them ..

49 replies

clumsymum · 28/07/2009 16:34

There is history behind this .

They took ds to cornwall with them 4 years ago, and sent him home after 3 days cos they couldn't cope.

Here is the thread I wrote about it at the time (I was called Easy back then). You don't have to read it all

I still feel upset when I think about it now . I am utterly incredulous that I got a phone call this p.m., asking if he'd like to join them on Saturday for 2 weeks in Devon.

I managed to splutter thanks for asking, and say that we had some things arranged, so probably not, but BIL said he'd give me a little time to think about it.

I don't WANT to be rude but ....

Over my dead body

OP posts:
iheartdusty · 28/07/2009 16:35

whaaaaat?

they are imbeciles of the highest order

Blackduck · 28/07/2009 16:45

Hi Easy - have been wondering where you have been! I remember the thread well (bin bags and all that!)... Have they got short memories or what! Was it ever alluded to afterwards?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/07/2009 16:46

I would be blunt and just say 'after last time, I don't think it would be a good idea'.

Spidermama · 28/07/2009 16:46

I remember that thread.

I think you would have every right to shout ABSOLUTELY NOT A CHANCE! It was a complete disaster last time which caused much hurt and pain to many.

Uriel · 28/07/2009 16:49

I remember that thread - can't believe they've asked again!

Spidermama · 28/07/2009 16:50

That thread clearly made a bit impression on us all.

cat64 · 28/07/2009 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 16:55

"Hi Easy - have been wondering where you have been! I remember the thread well (bin bags and all that!)... Have they got short memories or what! Was it ever alluded to afterwards? "

Hi, I've been here on and off in the last 4 years !!

Well, After the letter, we never spoke about the Cornish incident again. Ds has stayed the night at their house once or twice, always his choice to do so, and never more than one night at a time, but really only once or twice in these last 4 years.

I still can't believe that they should even consider asking me ....

OP posts:
Blackduck · 28/07/2009 16:59

I've been on and off too so we have obviously missed each other!

I would simply say 'no' and don't bother to explain....

LIZS · 28/07/2009 16:59

ooh remember that thread - no way !!!

Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:00

Spidemama, you are right, it must have made an impression, I didn't expect anyone else to remember it.

I've just glanced thru' it again (I was amazed it was still available), and it seems it could almost become a screenplay. It was certainly my longest thread ever.

So I'm not BU to declined the invitation then ?

I have to say, now the initial shock is over, I'm finding it a little bit funny.

OP posts:
Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:00

Spidemama, you are right, it must have made an impression, I didn't expect anyone else to remember it.

I've just glanced thru' it again (I was amazed it was still available), and it seems it could almost become a screenplay. It was certainly my longest thread ever.

So I'm not BU to declined the invitation then ?

I have to say, now the initial shock is over, I'm finding it a little bit funny.

OP posts:
Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:01

oooops

OP posts:
katiestar · 28/07/2009 17:01

maybe they think that it was 4 years ago and he is older and calmer now.
I would just say that you have other things on.

SoccerMum · 28/07/2009 17:03

Do you think things will be different now that the boys are so much older? How does your DS feel about it?

Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:04

Katiestar, I'm sure that's it, but they also know how hurt and upset I was.

And they are suggesting 2 weeks.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 28/07/2009 17:05

Have just read the original thread clumsymum and I have to say my GPs did this to me when I was 6 - i.e. drove me home from what should have been a week's holiday with them all because I said I was bored at a cricket match that they took me to . I have to say I never really got over it and my relationship with them was always strained - as was my mum's (her parents). Don't relent - one strike and they are out on this one!!

hercules1 · 28/07/2009 17:05

I remember too. Yanbu at all. I would also say not after last time.

Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:07

SoccerMum, I am not putting the question to DS.

He would like the idea I think (4 years is a long time ago when you're 10, altho he was talking to me a few weeks ag about the time Uncle sent him home), but I don't think he'd like to be away for 2 weeks.

I just don't trust them not to 'lose it' again. Their GS would be there again.

OP posts:
Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:09

Thanks Sparkletastic, as one with a similar experience, I value your opinion.

OP posts:
katiestar · 28/07/2009 17:12

2 weeks is WAY too long.

SoccerMum · 28/07/2009 17:14

I think youd be better just to say that after last time you dont think it would be a good idea.

2 weeks is a long time.

belgo · 28/07/2009 17:17

Gosh I've just read that thread from four years ago, and one thing that strikes me (apart from the clothes in the bin bag among other things), are they trying to make up for what happened last time, by offering to have him now?

wannaBe · 28/07/2009 17:23

tbh I'm amazed that you even maintained a relationship with them after that (have just read through the original thread), I wouldn't have, and they wouldn't ever have been allowed to take my child out again after that - ever.

So no, yanbu. And I would even be blunt and say "no, after the last time it would be over my dead body." Although as you've allowed him to go out with them/stay over at their house again since then you may not have such a strong case in their eyes, iyswim.

Original poster
clumsymum · 28/07/2009 17:35

Well we tried to find a way to retain the relationship, because 'blood is thicker than water', and BIL is DS's godfather.

Maybe they are trying to make-up for what happened. Unfortunately, we're not going to give them the opportunity.

Just MSNed DH to tell him. His view is also 'No Chance'.

OP posts: