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AIBU?

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Original poster

TELLING MY SISTER SHES A F*****G CUN* AND TO STAY AWAY FROM MY KIDS

62 replies

FortyDegrees · 26/07/2009 02:38

YESTERDAY I LET MY SON STAY AT MY SISTERS HOUSE WITH HIS COUZINS SO THEY COULD HAVE A BBQ AND HAVE A SLEEP OVER. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE NEIGHBOURHOOD BULLY WAS GOING WHO HAS TAKEN AN EXTREME DISLIKE TO DS AND PICKS ON HIM AT EVERY OPPERTUNITY. MY SISTER KNOWS THAT WE HAVE HAD PROBLEMS WITH THIS BOY AS WE ALL LIVE WTHIN A 10MIN WALK OF EACH OTHER. I REALLY DONT KNOW WHY SHE INVITED HIM AS WELL AS DS??

NOW I WOULDNT OF BEEN ANGRY IF SHE HADNT OF KNOWN BUT SHE DEFINATLY DOES KNOW. AND I WOULDNT OF BEEN ANGRY IF MY SON HADNT COME HOME TODAY WITH A MASSIVE SCRATCH DOWN HIS BACK AND LOTS OF HIS LEGS HE ALSO HAS SOME ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK AND A LUMP ON HIS HEAD.

THAT IS NOT THE WORST BIT

DS HAD GONE TO MY SISTER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TOLD HER HE WANTED TO GO HOME BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING HIT AND HE TOLD HIM TO STOP BEING A BABY N GET BACK IN THE TENT OR HE WASNT SLEEPING OVER AGAIN I AM UTTERLY FURIOUS SHE COULD OF EASILY RUNG ME SHE KNOWS I WOULDNT MIND GETTING MY DS I CANT BELEIVE IT

I TRIED SPEAKING TO HER TODAY AND SHE WAS HAVING NONE OF T. SO I COMPLETELY LOST MY TEMPER SWORE OBSENTIES AT HER AND STORMED OFF. WABU???

OP posts:
edam · 26/07/2009 11:08

invite the cousins over to yours next time so ds still sees them but isn't left under the supervision of his horrid aunt.

FranSanDisco · 26/07/2009 11:13

I agree hitting is wrong and would never encourage a child to hit out to get what they want. I was certainly brought up this way. However, I disagree about defending one self and self defence classes seem popular for this reason. I am not talking about acting threateningly and swearing but being confident enough to control a situation to get yourself out of further trouble. As a parent I am constantly having to rethink my values. Pre-child a martial arts class wasn't 'me' but now with a 6 yo non hitting/non aggressive ds I feel it may be of benefit.

CloudDragon · 26/07/2009 11:14

How old is your son?

If you go and shout abuse at your sister you lose the moral high ground.

What she did was incredibly lazy I too would be furious but I would let her know in a measured calm way and then stop your DS from going their on his own. That way she will listen to why and not how you are having a go at her.

by shouting all you will do is get her back up.

Speak to the boys parents or the school he goes to if you know (obviously a few weeks to go) and if that doesn't work if you live in social housing go to your Housing Officer, if not you may have a mediation team run by the council that can help.

Hope your DS is okay

MadameCastafiore · 26/07/2009 11:19

Martial arts is more about blocking and deflecting blows/kicks as far as I am aware and not actually hitting the other person. So it is self DEFENCE.

And as you can see from my post I wouldn't allow swearing or acting threateningly, society as a whole would be better if young people were taught how to manage their feelings but how on earth that is ever going to happen when people think using such appalling language is acceptable is beyond me.

FranSanDisco · 26/07/2009 11:21

Thank you for clarifying. Yes I agree with you totally.

OrphanAnnie · 26/07/2009 11:25

The kind of kids that bullies target won't/don't/can't hit back that is why the bullies target them.
Honestly if you know your child won't stand up for himself then the sister needs to be a protective aunty and keep him safe, the onus is on her not the little boy.

As for calling the police, no wonder it takes them so long to come out to real emergencies if you lot are clogging up the switch board with shite like this.

HerBeatitude · 26/07/2009 11:33

Well actually her sister does sound like a fucking cunt. She's a moron who sent her nephew back to be bullied after he asked for her intervention, that's pretty unforgivable in my book.

Some of you can get on your high horses about the language used - yes it is pretty chavtastic and I personally wouldn't use it myself in front of children - but some people do use language like that as a normal part of their lives, get over it. And someone as thick as the OP's sister doesn't actually sound like she would understand any language more sophisticated than fucking cunt.

slowreadingprogress · 26/07/2009 11:34

As an adult it is up to you to deal with this in a grown up way. Your approach sounds like something from eastenders. I can't believe people really go round lurching from one violent emotion to the other and shouting obscenities at family members for stuff like this

It's not rocket science; obviously you are cross at what happened. So you tell your ds that he won't be put in that position again, and you tell your sister why. If it means you have less of a relationship and see each other less then that sounds reasonable to me.

HerBeatitude · 26/07/2009 11:36

LOL at episode of Eastenders.

The thing is lots of people do behave like they're in an episode of Eastenders. I blame Eastenders myself.

MadameCastafiore · 26/07/2009 11:42

Well if one person reads this and realises how nasty that sort of language is and next time sits down and approaches a problem in a nicer, more adult way then getting on my high horse was worth it.

And as it is before 9pm they don't say anything like that on Eastenders so blaming a soap opera is silly. As far as I am aware there aren't any programmes on the television that contain that sort of language.

slowreadingprogress · 26/07/2009 11:51

Madame, just to clarify for you I was talking about the way that people lurch from one violent emotion to the other being soap-opera-like. One minute you're living in each other's pockets and your kids are sleeping over and the next she's a fucking cunt

It's not SO much the specifics of language

and I think Bea was joking about blaming eastenders

HerBeatitude · 26/07/2009 11:52

I don't blame Eastenders for the language, I blame Eastenders for the attitudes - the idea that it's OK to just erupt in anger and 5 minutes later everyone will have forgotten it. Soaps normalise extreme conflict.

As for how nasty the language is, that's a matter of opinion. People always get more upset about the word cunt than any other word simply because it refers to a woman's genitalia. Sorry but I don't hold with that sort of squeamishness.

slowreadingprogress · 26/07/2009 11:56

'soaps normalise extreme conflict'

well said indeed Bea

that's exactly what I mean. It simply isn't healthy - one minute you trust your children in their sole care all night, the next they are a fucking cunt

If you truly have that level of trust in a sibling, surely, although you may be angry at what happened, you'd have the emotional control and capacity to SPEAK to them instead of flying off the handle

HerBeatitude · 26/07/2009 12:09

Ah well, families and conflict eh...

katiestar · 26/07/2009 12:09

Could you clarify what you meant when you first spoke to your sister (calmly ??) about what had happened?.You said 'she was having none of it'.What does that actually mean ?Did she say your son was not telling the truth ?

booyhoo · 26/07/2009 12:36

if it was my sister she would have called the bully's parents to take him home.
cant believe she told him to stop being a baby. poor boy.

i would be very angry but swearing will get you nowhere, so in that respect yabu.

as a result of this my ds would not be sleeping over at sister's again and i would be going to bully's parents and sorting it out without swearing. make it clear that no more bullying will be tolerated and if they are at same school, inform head teacher.

helsbels4 · 26/07/2009 12:52

Apart from cringing everytime the op shouted "of" instead of "have", doesn't anyone else have suspicions that this thread was started in the early hours of the morning and the op hasn't returned since?

Maybe I'm just far too cynical these days!

Tortington · 26/07/2009 12:57

if the bully is over 10 years old you can ring the police for assault

booyhoo · 26/07/2009 13:01

helsbels OP might be in a different timezone to the UK.

helsbels4 · 26/07/2009 18:54

Yes you're right of course but we'll see

helsbels4 · 26/07/2009 18:55

Complete lack of commas there - oops!

MillyR · 26/07/2009 19:07

You can report someone if a child in their care is being hurt by another child and they don't take steps to stop it. I don't know why anyone would think otherwise.

I am not sure there would be any point in this particular situation, as it if far easier to just never allow the child to visit the Aunt again.

Mumcentreplus · 26/07/2009 19:08

I think there's more to this than meets the eye I would be angry with my sister and tell her in no uncertain terms..but never speak to her again?...call her a CUNT?...wow

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 26/07/2009 19:30

I think you need to write to your sister and explain why you are so upset with her.

Hope your DS is ok

MrsMcCluskey · 26/07/2009 19:36

KIMI if she writes a letter I hope OP takes the the caps lock off first!

OP your sister was wrong to invite the other boy over and should have brought him home, she has acted very irresposibly.