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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think at least one of my freinds or relatives could summon up the energy to give me the grade one b*llocking i deserve

84 replies

bumpsoon · 20/07/2009 09:37

Still trying to give up smoking and its been a hard and on/off struggle .I know i am essentially being crap and could really do with a bollocking ( something i respond well to). So ladies please come and vent your spleen here and tell me what a useless excuse for a grown up i am PLEASE

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 20/07/2009 11:22

You did ask for that!!

GoldenSnitch · 20/07/2009 11:25

It was very cathartic though - that's prety much exactly what I want to yell at every smoking pregnant woman I see in the street {grin}

HuffwardlyRouge · 20/07/2009 11:26

I never 'Gave Up Smoking' in a big, grand, rest-of-my life way. I just decided not to hazve the next cigarette. And 5 years later I still haven't had it.

IsItMeOr · 20/07/2009 11:36

Seriously cannot believe you are PREGNANT and STILL SMOKING and a NURSE. That is seriously disturbed. If you can't even give up smoking for the health of your unborn child, how are you going to cope with all the other challenges that having somebody else depend on you for everything inevitably brings? Use it as practice, get some backbone and give up now bumpsoon!

All the women who smoked and got pregnant either gave up well in advance of ttc or gave up cold turkey, err, because they cared about their unborn child's health and this was one thing in their control to do something about unlike so many other things with children.

Get a grip woman!

IsItMeOr · 20/07/2009 11:37

Sorry, should say "All the women I know who smoked etc".

Original poster
bumpsoon · 20/07/2009 12:42

I have two other children ,i managed towards the end of each pregnancy to stop ,i just want to stop alot sooner if that makes sense .Luckily niether of my children were born premature , had or have any health issues related to smoking ,infact if you asked me when the last time either was ill or went to the Drs id struggle to remember .
The reason i posted was to help me beat the totally non rational part of a smokers brain that makes them continue smoking . I know that it is the single worst thing you can do to yourself ever ,regardless of being pregnant or not ,worse than heroin even .I know that by not stopping i am putting my baby at risk .What i needed was you lot to put it to me in a way that even that stupid little voice at the back of my mind couldnt deny was true ,and you have .thankyou

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 20/07/2009 17:21

Tell us you managed to stay smoke free for today then...

Don't disappoint us.

motherbeyond · 20/07/2009 21:05

sorry?have just scanned some of the responses and am amazed to see that they seem to be overwhelmingly light hearted.
as i read on i thought, she can't be pregnant,no one would think that was even mildly amusing..but to my absolute horror,you are.
you selfish,self centred cow.
i abhore people like you.
i smoked like a chimney..right up until that little line apeared.
yes, i was gagging for a cigarette,but you know,in the big scheme of things,what is more important? a craving that will lessen each day..or you giving your baby a chance to be born healthy?You say you're a nurse,so you can't plead ignorance?
I beg to differ,you most definitely are ignorant.
you disgust me.
why did you even try to concieve if you can't be bothered to care for the baby?

mrsrawlinson · 20/07/2009 21:28

And in any case, why would some unpleasant comments from faceless strangers make a jot of difference if the fact that you're pregnant isn't enough? Clearly you have no shame.

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 20/07/2009 23:50

bump and ellie i wondered where you had got to from the stop smoking thread!

Sorry you've both given in to the urge and you had done so well every hour counts!

Please if i can offer either of you any advice i am happy to do so! Im also pregnant and really didnt think i could give up and go through the cravings for one but today its been 2 weeks! Cravings are alot easier to handle now and i feel in total control.

If you can get some support from your stop smoking midwife if you have one in your area, mine is fantastic and has visitied me 3 times now, Carbon Monoxide tests was 9 which meant 2.8% of babies blood was carbon monoxide. Last week i measured 0 and was soo happy and today i measured 3! Atmospherical apparently as i definatly had not smoked, she blamed it on the febreze!!

Anyway sorry i have hijacked your thread just wanted to add a positive note to your thread and offer my support to you both! Take care shirls xx

elliepac · 21/07/2009 07:14

iateall, how fantastic have you done?

I could really do with some of your wisdom. I don't have the pregnant thing to spur me on and am really struggling! I get through the day but then danger time kicks in and i always cave!

Can you buy willpower at Boots?

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 21/07/2009 09:10

lol nope no wisdom at Boots! Where you using anything to help you, am i right in thinking you struggle when the kids are in bed and liked to go in the garden and read a book, or was that someone else?

If it was you get an inhalator and take that in the garden, you dont have to break that routine completely and you still have that hand mouth movement....

Id rather look silly with gum, patch and inhalator but its working.

katiestar · 21/07/2009 09:16

If your unborn child isn't enough to make you give up nothing will.Nothing we can say or do will help in the slightest.YOU have to WANT to stop enough

elliepac · 21/07/2009 09:35

iateall, you are spot on with my danger time. Haven't bought an inhalator yet.
Back to Boots it is then for inhalator instead of willpower. NOt bothered about looking silly, it's kind of daily occurrence in my life anyway.

Casserole · 21/07/2009 09:47

I can't believe you seem to be treating this so lightheartedly.

You're PREGNANT. Your baby is utterly dependent on you to take care of it and you're poisoning it instead. You should be ashamed, not faffinf about on here.

It's not about willpower anymore. Who cares whether or not you feel ready? You should have thought about that before getting pregnant.

I am so sickened by your attitude. You're a mother now, you protect your baby no matter what. Millions of women have given up like THAT when they found they were pregnant because they understood that. What's so special about you that you can't?

scottishmummy · 21/07/2009 09:52

take some responsibility and dont seek others to find you a back bone or conscience

you are poisoining your baby with a chemical cocktail

you risk LBW and complications

but you already know this

so grow the fuck up

Original poster
bumpsoon · 21/07/2009 10:06

You are all of course right .It isnt the stopping that is the difficult bit ,its been the staying stopped .However i have managed 18hrs so far ,so i shall just take each hour at a time .When i had a bad craving last night ,i had a look at all your posts again remind me what a selfish bitch i was being by smoking and it did help .thankyou again.
Iate fantastic news ,youve done brilliantly ,i cant wait till i hit the 2 week mark like you .

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 21/07/2009 10:12

grow a backbone dont look for answers form others.your external locus of control and fact you have no desire to stop smoking is the reason you smoke

you smoke because you want to continue smoking

being pg is obviously not compelling enough reason for you

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 21/07/2009 10:35

Bump what are you using to help you? Massive well done on the 18 hours so far that is fantastic!!

Ellie see a stop smoking nurse at your local practice, they can give you inhalators, gum well everything you need and you only pay for one prescription so will save loads of money!

Big tip for using inhalator is warm it up in your hands take a few puffs on it as if your rushing a quick smoke break and you will feel the effects from it. Gum takes about half an hour and the patches is slow release through the day. Remember a craving only lasts a couple of minutes.

Bump im not going to lecture you as i know how hard this is for you and its almost harder being pregnant to. If i was not pregnant and having a baby i would not be quiting, i am quiting for the baby and for my future with my baby. Only 6 hours till 24 hours huge well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reallytired · 21/07/2009 11:17

ReallyTired gives bumpsoon a cheer and waits for her next post.

If you have a ciggerette then a bollocking awaits...

CyradisTheSeer · 21/07/2009 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GiraffesCanRunA10k · 21/07/2009 11:39

Want a bollocking? Ok. My daughter died. Shes dead. I held her tiny body and had to hand her to a complete stranger to take away. It haunts me every day. Why the hell would you choose to do something that increases the risk this could happen to your child? A baby is so precious. Stop acting like a twat, and start acting like a mother and put your child first. You are so fucking lucky to be pregnant.

Julezboo · 21/07/2009 12:16

I agree Giraffe! She is lucky.

I went through so much to get my two little miracles, one was born 9 weeks early, the other came along after losing 7 babies one at 22 weeks.

I have never smoked, not at all in my life. I often get angry at my SIL who keeps getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, smokes right the way through and goes onto have healthy full term babies

You need to stop for your child. End of.

Original poster
bumpsoon · 21/07/2009 14:11

22hrs and counting ,wish i had a carbon dioxide thigy here so i could puff on it and see it go back to less than 1

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 21/07/2009 14:27

Well done bumpsoon - only 2 hours to go and you'll have done your first day!

I always looked at it from the point of view that I wasn't quitting, I was just not smoking while I was pregnant, then not smoking while I was breastfeeding (so as not to pass on nicotine through my milk) and before I knew it, it was 15 months later and it was well and truly out of my system.

And by that point you can smell how awful it is whch puts you off too

There were one or two times when I considered trying it but I was too ashamed to buy fags while with my DS because I worried what people would think and as I'm with DS pretty much constantly, that helped me get over that too.