spanking a child in public

[sliverchick]

AIBU to want to intervene after seeing a mother slapping her toddler in a supermarket

Well I would like to stop teenagers stabbing each other but I am not sure I would leap in between two of them during a fight.

Does that make me a coward?

good point chegirl. Sometimes you have to be selfish and think about yourself and your family, as intervining isn't going to have much of an impact in most sitos anyway.

You don't have to step in between them but you can call 999. That is a form of intervention.

We called social services a little while ago about a family who were constantly shouting abuse at their very small child. We were told to dial 999 in that situation because it will do two things.
It will stop that immediate situation from escalating and it will also flag the situation to childrens services.

The couple that we had to speak about were already known. If we hadn't reported it they would have moved house and that child would have been lost in the system. (their house went up for sale which is what partially triggered our decision.)
The house is much calmer now and the child is completely different.

You don't have to physically intervene to make a difference.

Should add it was the social worker we spoke to who advised we call the police.

I don't think shouting at a toddler warrants a 999 call!

idrank Yes I know, and I have several times. But I think its harsh to call the OP in this instance.

A social worker might also advise calling the police because it might keep them out of it.

I think calling 999 is warrented in specific circumstances because only the police have the powers to remove a child in immediate danger.

I am not so sure how many of the people who talk about calling the police would actually do so in RL. I dont mean on MNs or this thread neccessarily, I have seen it a lot on other forums. Ironically many of the advocates are also busy on other threads moaning about the nanny state and nosey HC and SC professionals!

I guess I'm quite a shouty mum or so it would look, but I'm actually quite deaf, seriously so I'd hate to think somebody was dialling 999 because they think I'm endangering my children my raising my voice.
I guess it depends what's being shouted though, a strike across the head/face though I would most def consider an emergency situation. When I was a lot younger I witnessed a mum queing for fags with 4 children with her and she hit each one of them around the head in the time it took for her to get served and they didn't even flinch it was awful.

I have only ever seen one incident that made my blood boil and I had to say something. I was in the car and at traffic lights, when a woman was walking past with a child in a buggy who was about 2-3 years old. The child was shouting 'want sweets, want sweets' and was obviously driving his Mum mad, when the next minute, she stopped walking and starting slapping him on the legs, over and over agin and shouting 'Will you shut up about f**king sweets'

My 4 year old got really upset about seeing this, so I just saw red and pulled over near her and shouted 'What the hell do you think you are doing? She looked at me really shocked and just walked off. I got out of my car and spent 20 minutes calming down my frightened son.

I have never smacked my DS and never would.

The question I have for those people who believe smacking is an acceptable form of discipline is 'Would you smack or hit an adult if they were doing something you didn't like?' If you were a Manager at work, would an acceptable form of discipline be to smack one of your staff?

Its not acceptable to smack adults so why should adults be allowed to smack children?

Lucy there are a lot of things that are acceptable to do to children but you wouldn't do to another adult...wiping a nose, or somewhere else! Also hopefully adults don't whinge and grizzle for sweets for ages and generally drive you round the bend. Oh OK maybe some do.

I do actually think smacking is wrong but I've still done it and I don't think the majority of parents who smack should be criminalised for it. Children are occasionally just vile and they drive you to it, it's as simple as that. I'm not proud to say this but am being honest.

ZOMBIE THREAD

But monkeyface she wasn't being naughty was she.I understand that it is maddening and slightly embarassing when a kid is constantly screaming round a supermarket.But it isn't being naughty ,its just expressing their anger .It isn't osomething you have to solve ,I would have just let them get on with it !!

It isn't being naughty??! Jeeezzz. No wonder our schools are full of badly behaved children who don't know the meaning o acceptable behaviour. I fear for the future of society!

oh. and OP..YABU.

So, marcia - do you think that what your mum did was an ok thing to do then? Because I don't. It's abuse. Maybe things were different when you were a child, but thank goodness they have now changed.

I once saw a mum in Tesco with a child of the same age - 7 or thereabouts - pull down her DD's trousers and pants and spank her bare bottom right there in the middle of the aisle. I went up to her and pointed out in an icy polite voice that she was giving any perverts present a real eyeful, and did she think that was a good idea?

She stopped and looked shamefaced, I hope she realised what a horrible thing she had just done.

A full-on face slap on a toddler is not on. Everyone loses it sometimes, but there are lines that should not be crossed.

"To the mum's of the crying babies all I want to say is "Comfort your baby, it is crying for a reason" FFS Pick the baby up and gently comfort him/her. "

If you had said to me when I was juggling DD3 who was difficult and colicky and howled for the first year of her life, a two year old and a four year ols I would probably have smacked you on the bum.

This is an old thread bumped by (I'm guessing) a troll people.

WRT "what do they do in private if they do this in public?"

Personally speaking I found my 2DC could really gang up to harrass me when we were out. In the house I could send them to different rooms to seperate them and get them to do things.
They used to do a really annoying smirk when I was telling them off (count to 10 and walk away time)
When we were out I would hold their shoulders and look them right in the face and say "This is your last warning .Do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND"?
and make them agree that they were on thin ice.

And Dear MNetters- all those who have views on discipline - WWYD?

My DC were about 5 and 7.6 yo.
We were on the M6. They were in the back, I was the only adult. They had books ,toys. We stopped every 60-90 minutes. But they were getting bored.

One of them (and I don't know which) threw a toy at the front windscreen, over my shoulder..
I could've fecking pulverized them both (they were both really arsey wind-up merchants and neither would admit it)

Bugger. Old Thread.

Methinks "marcia" is after wank fodder TBH from the specific wording of her post Just bear that in mind if you're posting personal experience...

Totally agree with Gero. Can't stand seeing small children being mis-treated. It upsets me for days.

I don't like to see it, I have done it myself in desperation a couple of times, once when ds managed to slip my hand and ran into the road after a pigeon and I lost it as he almost ended up under a car, the second time ds and dd decided to have a mad run around in the supermarket, after 5 times of telling them to stop in increasingly strong terms they ran into an elderly gentleman causing him to almost fall over. They both had a single smack on the bum and a dressing down.
After reading stuff on mumsnet I now no longer use smacking as discipline.
I do think a single slap/smack on the bum is a very different animal to smacking a child accross the face, and yes, I definately would intervene if I saw the latter. The former I would just assume someone had been pushed past the end of their tether.