to dislike it when I call a friend and a child answers the phone?

[hambler]

Tonight called a friend whose very bossy 10 yo dd answered with "Hello who am I speaking to?"

She has been doing this since she was about 5 or 6.

I HATE it when kids answer the phone. It's not like the call will be for them.

It never crossed my kids' minds to pick up the phone when they were young and I would never have suggested/encouraged it.
AM I alone?
BU?

Oh no, obviously that sort of behaviour is awful and brattish in the extreme. And I also loathe having to speak to other people's children (and even my own when they go to stay with grandma as it can be like drawing teeth trying to understand them).

But it is not unreasonable for children to learn to answer the phone and pass on a message or fetch the person required. As someone who always hated answering the phone, I actively encourage my children to do that - for their good and to let me off the hook! But they don't indulge in pointless conversation or try to vet callers - that is a pita.

i think if the child is over 5 and can answer it politley then its nice

my friends ds say hello, can i ask who is calling?

and then will go and fetch the parent but only does it when asked, ie his mum was busy chnaging his brother nappy

I think there are several different arguements going on here.

Ifthe OP is frustrated that she regularly gets left on the phone for hours with a child who is unable to conduct even a basic conversation then that is fair enough.

But I think it is completely bizare to take issue with my 6 year old answering the phone when I am out of the room or engaged with her brother and saying "hello , who is it please, do you want to speak to my mummy?" and then calling me to the phone.
Anyone who has an issue with those children answering the phone is a bit bizarre IMO.

I do have a suspicion though. I let DD come on the phone to 'have a nice chat' with cold callers because they annoy me and I want them to fuck off.
Maybe the people who seem to find a disproprtionate number of uncommunicative children answer their calls are not quite as good friends with the people they are calling as they think?

is this an AIBU by stealth? The op gets a child on the line who is unable to hand over to an adult? Really?

I have just seen the lunch time news where a 2 yr old got the emergency services when her mother collapsed with an allergic reaction. She was able to use the phone and give her address. It all goes to prove that you don't want to wait until they are 5yrs or complain about them answering the phone. It is a life skill.

I'm surprised at someone who posted that their five year old receives calls from his friends. I genuinely cannot think of any reason a five year old would need to phone a friend. Surely the parents make all arrangements for them to get together? Surely there's nothing a five year old needs to tell his friend that can't wait till they see each other?

ooh lowlandlady has upped the ante!

I too think it's quite bratty and precocious. I realise that it's not everyone's children I find annoying at all. It's those that are encouraged to monopolise other people with their pearls of wisdom. Admittedly, everything my son says to me is GENIUS to my ears but I am not deluded generous enough to force that upon other unsuspecting adults.

Politely and competently answering the phone to find out which adult is required would be wonderful, but I have yet to experience such a unique and glorious child. Well done pagwatch.

I don't see why a ten-year-old couldn't receive a phone call. Don't they phone each other?

I let dd (5) answer the phone, but only between 6.45 and 7.15 when I know there's a 99% chance it will be dh calling.

IMHO youre a bit of a nob!

Yes, YABU, I can't get to my phone quick enough before my 4 year old has snatched it off the hook. How difficult can it be to say hello, how are you and then ask to speak to her Mum?

I didn't think anyone had said that their 5 yr old receives calls from their friends-but I could have missed it. Someone said that their DC doesn't need to answer it before 5yrs, which is a different thing altogether.

My cousin's were receiving phone calls from their friends at 5.

DS2 started receiving phone calls in year 1. Can't remember whether it was when he was 5 or 6. His friend would ring and they would arrange where and when to meet on club penguin and which server to go on

Why do so many people dislike talking to children??

People don't "dislike talking to children" Clemette. Some of just find it tedious to have to chat to toddlers when we ring their parents on their land line. Of course having a little chat with a toddler isn't the most annoying thing in the world, but some of us do that quite a lot in the course of our rl day, and when we just want a quick word with a grown up, the negotiating past a small child who has picked the phone up without intending to hand straight over to the adult is a tiny bit irritating.

Is it ok to say that or does it make me sound like the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

Perhaps it is because I rarely phone people socially but when I do I like chatting to their children.

My 10 year old nephew often answers the phone and that is fine with me. Also a 10 year old is quite likely to have friends phoneing them at this age or even younger, I know my children did.

I always had to answer the phone when I was a kid. Dad used to have clients ring him at home so I had to say he wasn't in.

I think there's nothing wrong with teaching a child to answer the phone politely.

YABU

What a lot of mean spirited and impatient people there are on this thread.

I think allowing DS to talk on the phone is teaching him all sorts of things. Not least, that people cannot "see" things down a phone line, so pointing out all the things he can see from the top of the stairs is pretty pointless. He's learning gradually. In an ideal world he wouldn't actually answer the phone, but there are many more things in life to get hung up about (pardon the pun).

children are generally rubbish at phone talking...

i LOVE talking to little kids

not on the phone though when i need their mum or dad

I've only read the first few posts, but YABU.

My Ds doesn't have friends or cousin's phoning him. They speak at school, arrange to meet at an allotted time on the internet game they play and bob's your uncle!

Ds does keep on and on about getting a mobile though(for emergenciesof course), and I wont hear of it!

All the more reason to give them practice. DS (as I said, nearly 3) called me at work the other day. Well his dad put him on, before taking over. It was so lovely to hear his little voice, and he was telling me all about what he'd done that morning, what he'd had for lunch, etc. I'm sure most children are rubbish at it because they've not had the chance to engage in enough proper conversations. If you're not careful they'll still be rubbish on the phone by the time they're 10.

hmmm but will I care?

Communication between children is less and less verbal and even less face to face

If my child has a crap phone manner at 10 i do not really care...90% of their mates speak only on a keyboard,phone pad or grunt

Of course they wont be! We didn't have a 'house phone' until I was 11 and I have a great telephone manner!

Ds has chatted on the phone to me from toddlerhood perfectly well, but I wont have him answering the phone.