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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike it when I call a friend and a child answers the phone?

242 replies

hambler · 15/07/2009 00:04

Tonight called a friend whose very bossy 10 yo dd answered with "Hello who am I speaking to?"

She has been doing this since she was about 5 or 6.

I HATE it when kids answer the phone. It's not like the call will be for them.

It never crossed my kids' minds to pick up the phone when they were young and I would never have suggested/encouraged it.
AM I alone?
BU?

OP posts:
Original poster
hambler · 15/07/2009 00:38

Okay apart from the bossy ten year old, this is a typical conversation from a kid answering the phone

KID "Hello?"
ME "Hello Kylie, it's Hambler, can I speak to your mummy please?"

KID ....silence

ME "Kylie? Is that you? Can I speak to your mummy?"

KID "Hello"

ME "Is your mum there? Can I speak to her?"

KID "MUUUUUMM!"

Then possibly hangs up phone.

OK I am willing to concede that the kids I know are especially thick and /or annoying and that there is NO WAY any mumsnetters'kids are less than polite and concise on the phone

OP posts:
lockets · 15/07/2009 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

anothernamechangeyawn · 15/07/2009 00:43

In our scenario:

  1. DS races to the phone and answers with a breathless "Hello?"

  2. By then Mum or Dad would be right by the phone.

  3. DS begins to describe everything he can see around him.

  4. Person on line says who they are and asks to speak to Mum/Dad

  5. DS holds out phone to Mum/Dad and tells us who is on the phone.

The first time he answered the phone to me, he held out the phone to his Dad saying "Daddy, Mummy's stuck in the phone!"

Original poster
hambler · 15/07/2009 00:44

lockets, I agree
Texting is so much more civilised!You can answer at your leisure

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 15/07/2009 00:47

DS1 sometimes answer the phone for me - but that's if I'm busy and not in the immidiate vicinity - as DS3 has got rather a phone obssession at the moment and it's usually a race between me and him.

Don't see the problem with it.

It's not like they need training - answer phone

"hello" -

"yes I'll just get her/no she's doing a poo"

hand phone over.

anothernamechangeyawn · 15/07/2009 00:47

I do get very very annoyed when I get a sales call, or a recorded message, at 9 or 9.30 in the evening - especially if the phone wakes DS. GRRR. Does anyone else get about 3 recorded message phone calls a day, or are we just very unfortunate?

Original poster
hambler · 15/07/2009 00:48

another, yes, sometimes. Goes through phases. None for a while, then loads for weeks

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 15/07/2009 00:48

not sure why the phone wouldn't be of interest to them.

My DS's are probably more keen to talk to family (and vice versa) than I am.

thumbwitch · 15/07/2009 00:51

I don't mind if it's an older child - I get a bit peed off when it's a 3-and-under as it's harder to get them to fetch mummy.

sallyjaygorce · 15/07/2009 00:53

DD (aged 5 ) is super articulate and I love hearing tell sales people that Mummy is not interested because we already have a kitchen etc. I've always wanted a secretary and I have an excellent one now. Once my son has mastered the clutch I'll have a chauffeur too. He is only 3 but very willing. DD2 is a keen chef but frankly needs to broaden her repertoire. Grey biscuits don't work with my carb counting.

Original poster
hambler · 15/07/2009 00:56

sally

OP posts:
blinder · 15/07/2009 06:39

Hambler this is one of my pet hates tbh. Not sure why (and I am really a very child-friendly person) but children on the phone really grates on my nerves!

FairyMum · 15/07/2009 06:52

My children always answer the phone. Why not? They live in the house and are part of the family. Most of the time its people they know who call and they have a chat. It never occured to me that its something people might start threads on MN about.

piscesmoon · 15/07/2009 06:58

How strange! I thought that the phone was a life skill that a DC needed.
Mine have always answered it if they wanted to but I made sure that they answered it properly and politely. I had rules when they were younger that they didn't answer it while I was out. As they got older they have got better at it and people often tell me they were very impressed by the efficiency.
Many schools get yr 6 to answer the school phone at lunch times-after all the only thing they have to do is find the right person!
All you have to say is 'can I speak to mummy please'-I don't see a problem.

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult · 15/07/2009 06:59

Hambler YABVU

Using the telephone is just one of the things children need to learn in order to function in the world when they grow up. We should be teaching them to do it as soon as they are able and willing.

I totally agree with hmc that if you have that opinion of children, then I probably wouldn't want to talk to you anyway!

Children are not animals, they are people

blinder · 15/07/2009 07:09

... well my son does share certain characteristics with a monkey.

I just find it irritating when I phone to speak to a friend and I suddenly have to negotiate a whole conversation with a child before I can get to speak to the friend. I am sure I will be flamed for HATING children (EVIL EVIL blinder) but it gets on my nerves.

Sorry.

Other people's kids aren't as fascinating (although certainly as sweet, lovely, funny) as my own kids. I don't need to talk to them. And I have never put my son on the phone unless to a family member or for a certain reason. He does natter to his friends on it all the time however so I don't think it's done him any harm.

Right, where's my asbestos suit...

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult · 15/07/2009 07:11

You're missing the point though. What you hate is not children answering the phone, but children who answer the phone who haven't been taught how to do so properly.

blinder · 15/07/2009 07:11

Oops! note that I mean not as fascinating TO ME! And my kids as not as fascinating to you AS YOUR KIDS. Just a maternal thing.

I have a feeling people will be lining up the missiles for that one .

piscesmoon · 15/07/2009 07:12

You don't have to have a conversation-just cut straight to what you want! I would be heavily encouraging a 10 yr old to answer the phone.

blinder · 15/07/2009 07:14

Maybe I just spend too long on the phone with the child. I always feel I have to ask them a ton of questions to be polite. I would never say ' please can I speak to mummy?' without first saying, 'what did you have for dinner / learn in school / do today' etc. Wouldn't want to be rude to the child tbh.

blinder · 15/07/2009 07:16

hmm - maybe I will do that. Thanks piscesmoon!

But what if the other parent deliberately puts the child on the phone for a chat?

See, there is no helping some people.

piscesmoon · 15/07/2009 07:17

I think you are making the problem for yourself blinder!

FlamingoOfTheShineyCult · 15/07/2009 07:17

No it wouldn't be rude to them. Just treat them as you would another adult in the house. DO you have a massive conversation with a friend's DH if he answers the phone?

piscesmoon · 15/07/2009 07:19

I think they only come on for a chat if they know you really well. My main problem is a friend who sounds just like a 6 yr old on the phone-I asked to speak to mummy and she said that people do it to her all the time!

GColdtimer · 15/07/2009 07:25

My nieces do this (5 and 3) and sometimes I don't mind but sometimes for some reason it really annoys me. Especially if my younger niece answers it because she can be a little monkey and you have no idea whether the phone is being handed over or flushed down the loo.

I think at 10 though I was answering the phone. But then I don't think I was ever rude or thick

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