Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the term 'inappropriate'

36 replies

katiestar · 13/07/2009 15:11

Things never used to be inapprorite -they were either right or wrong .Where has inappropriate sprung up from ?

OP posts:
makipuppy · 13/07/2009 15:13

I quite agree Katiestar. Often thought this.

Greensleeves · 13/07/2009 15:15

It is a chilling word, so cold and impersonal

it reminds me of miserable years of bad school reports [shudder]

but I will confess to using it on MN when I want to pack a bit of a punch

monkeyfeathers · 13/07/2009 15:22

I don't see what the problem is. 'Inappropriate' doesn't mean the same thing as 'wrong'. It means that something is unsuitable or improper for a particular set of circumstances. 'Wrong' just means that something is incorrect or untrue.

Greensleeves · 13/07/2009 15:24

it's "inappropriate behaviour" that chills me

I was asked ina job interview what I would do if a child "began to behave inappropriately"

yuck yuck

pointydog · 13/07/2009 15:25

I don't see the problem with 'inappropriate'. Things aren't always right or wrong.

Original poster
katiestar · 13/07/2009 15:26

Along with 'unacceptable' .Now I know where THAT one came from (although pronounced unaSSeptable)

OP posts:
VietnameseCobbler · 13/07/2009 15:28

yes its rather snooty

Itsjustafleshwound · 13/07/2009 15:29

Agree with monkeyfeathers ...

RenagadeMum · 13/07/2009 15:29

Inappropriate is blah.

So is 'having issues' instead of problems.

And something being 'challenging' instead of a big old problem.
ie 'We are tackling the challenging issues of Iraq head on.'

Oh, and 'going forward' being used in a sentance makes me want to headbut something. I have issues with it!

bigstripeytiger · 13/07/2009 15:30

I have no problem with 'inappropriate' or 'unacceptable' used in the correct context.

saintlydamemrsturnip · 13/07/2009 15:30

i think inappropriate can be useful. Ds1 often behaves inappropriately. I can't call it wrong, as he doesn't understand so from his point of view his behaviour is fine- but it is certainly often completely inappropriate.

VietnameseCobbler · 13/07/2009 15:30

in approriate means wrong though
if i snogged my boss it woudl be wrong

GibbonInARibbon · 13/07/2009 15:32

I am guessing you were told you did something 'inappropriate'

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 13/07/2009 15:32

It's often just used inappropriately though - interchangeably with "unseemly". (And unseemly is so much nicer.

Itsjustafleshwound · 13/07/2009 15:32

right or wrong is a judgement - appropriateness questions the circumstances.

makipuppy · 13/07/2009 15:38

well, it questions the right or wrongness of something in relation to the circumstances. I think it's a rather lazy term because people don't want to apportion blame or say what they really think.

VietnameseCobbler · 13/07/2009 15:39

it would be so wrong to snog him

TheProfiteroleThief · 13/07/2009 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeyfeathers · 13/07/2009 15:42

Vietnamese Cobbler: snogging your boss would only be wrong because of the circumstances (i.e. that he is your boss/it's against company policy/it would make working together difficult/he's in a relationship with someone else/etc). Snogging that particular man isn't absolutely or inherently 'wrong', it's 'inappropriate' because of the context.

makipuppy · 13/07/2009 15:43

Saintly, but if he doesn't understand right and wrong, which is quite understandable of course, how will he understand inappropriate! Pure semantics.

cobbler, what have you done?

RenagadeMum · 13/07/2009 15:44

What does your boss look like VC?

That may help me to know how to judge the situation as being inappropriate.

pointydog · 13/07/2009 15:45

It is a word that is overused by public sector departments and if a word is overused it loses its meaning to some extent and people turn against it.

It doesn't sound as potentially accusatory as right or wrong, hence it being adopted by piblic sector.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 13/07/2009 15:49

If your boss looks like this then it's appropriate.

If he looks like this then it's inappropriate.

saintlydamemrsturnip · 13/07/2009 15:49

maki- he has severe learning disabilities, I use inappropriate to describe his behaviour to others (or myself) not for him. - eg sniffing someone's arse - of my other children do it they have enough social understanding to understand that it is wrong/going to offend etc etc. When ds1 does it (which he does a lot at times) he is simply exploring his world and building up a picture of somewhere - the behaviour is however unacceptable in polite society and therefore inappropriate. I wouldn't call it naughty though, because he's not doing it with any understanding at all that it is unacceptable.

I would use inappropriate for all sorts of his behaviours (dropping trousers in public/hitting his head/hitting me when excited etc etc). I only use wrong when he understands that he is doing something he shouldn't be doing.

UnquietDad · 13/07/2009 15:54

I've heard it used to describe schools.

Local comp is not a "bad school", just "inappropriate for my child."

Yeah, right