to hate the term 'inappropriate'

[katiestar]

Things never used to be inapprorite -they were either right or wrong .Where has inappropriate sprung up from ?

When used in the correct context, I can't see a problem with the word 'inappropriate.'

Renegaded mum - that reminds me of someone I used to work with, back when I still worked in the waste industry. He was a sales manager and told me there was no such things as 'problems' only 'opportunities'.

So I derived great pleasure when we had a load from one his customers that we couldn't get off the tanker, in 'phoning him and telling him I had a big 'opportunity' for him

HBLB - I would still go with plain right and plain wrong with those!

BT - he sounds like a swell fellow. I'm glad you found your way forward with that issue!

But UQD, your local comp is inappropriate for my child.... we live in a different city

YANBU - I hate it too, because it is too often used as a way of obfuscating what conventions are being flouted because the person doesn't want to admit to them

(not in the case of the parent of the child with sn - in that case I imagine (s)he would be happy to go into the detail if asked, eg "it is inappropriate behaviour to sniff someone's arse because it violates that person's personal space")

however when i was at school it was always being used about behaviour that was thought to be too sexy or too common, but none of the teachers would admit to having prudish or snobbish hang ups because they would not explicitly admit to the existence of sex or class.

same as the people who say "inappropriate school for my child" are doing.

a lot of "inappropriate" behaviour by children is simply inconvenient or embarrassing - eg asking questions which expose double standards or hypocrisy or a lack of knowledge or intelligence in a professional who feels (s)he should be above such embarassment as an authority figure. using that expression is a way of expressing a sort of hands-off snooty disapproval without having to stand up for why ("it makes me look stupid" "it makes me have to work harder")

I hope I never say this to my child - I hope I will remember to say something more specific like "impolite" or "unkind" or "behaving like a pita"

And if your boss is also your DP, then it wouldn't be wrong, but might be inappropriate in the office.

I like the word. Things aren't always right or wrong-there are various shades of grey and 'inappropriate' often covers many of them.

Inappropriate is a word Dolores Umbridge would use.

I think becuase it speaks of things being "ünseemly" it has a kind of 1940s vibe about it.

"because"

Unacceptable, inappropriate etc. are alright in their place. Like wearing a bikini to the office /is/ probably inappropriate. But used in discussion between adults, these sorts of words can be very bullying forms of language, and like the phrase 'Too much information' is used to shut down discussion and put down the speaker.

"Well, what you said was unacceptable/inappropriate/too much information"

The problem with that is it takes one person's likes or dislikes and implies that the other person has in fact broken some commonly understood rule or morality rather than is just saying something the other person perhaps selfishly doesn't want to hear. I could say, "That was unacceptable" implying that no-one can accept your words/behaviour but what I actually mean is, "I don't want to accept what you said. It was unacceptable TO ME"

I use "inappropriate' sometimes with my children BECAUSE things are not always right or wrong. I don't think mild swearing is wrong, but it's inappropriate for children. I don't think halter necked bikinis are wrong, but they are inappropriate for 8 year olds. I don't think singing loudly is wrong but it's inappropriate behaviour for a restaurant.

I think it's an incredibly useful concept, and one that has helped me explain a lot of things to my children.