to expect my doula to keep in touch with me?

[disappointedwithd]

I have namechanged. I will try and keep it short. I used a doula for the birth of my DS in February. I had a fantastic experience (a big part was due to the doula).

I then used the same doula for extra help with my 3 other DC, she did school run for a few weeks, washing, tidied around etc. She was a big help. I thought I was a good client, often told her to go early, was happy for her to bring her own DC (post -natally), paid promptly, gave her a lovley thank you presant etc etc.

Anyway I have emailed her a couple of times since she left, just chit chat to see how she and her family are and she has never come back to me. I feel very sad, AIBU? After all I invited her to the one of the most intimate experiences of my life - is the odd email too much to ask?

Heh, that's ok.

Doulas perform a pretty amazing service IMO, and often grade their fees on what their client feels is an acceptable or fair price.

I do agree with you that there are probably some people who use a doula as some sort of weird status symbol, but on the whole, doulas work with mw's and HCP's to make childbirth as positive as possible for everyone, not just those who can afford it.

I kept fairly quiet about my doula as I knew that lots of people would not understand.

i do tend to call myslef a 'trained birth partner' rather than a doula , as most people look a bit blank

i do agree with tafka

i would much rather women had a named one to one support from a MW they know and trust. that they were supported to make decisions even those that deviate from policy. but that often does not happen

being an advocate for a labouring woman is not wanky or middle class

i have wokred for free on many occasions as i would rather give the support to someone who needed it, than not.

but it is not for everoyne.

If Doulas are a subject that winds you up, then why join a thread about them? unless just to make annoying, pointless comments?

Lulu - my doula (and Marsy, actually) have told me that when they tell people what they do for a living people look blankly at them and go, "Dealer?"

I wish that I had had a friend or a mother capable of supporting me while I gave birth. As there wasn't, and no chance of any continuity in midwife care (apparently 7 different ones during my 6 hour labour), plus DH didn't want to be there (which I was happy with), I paid a doula to be with me. Nothing wanky about wanting to have someone I actually knew with me I think ?

i usually get 'jeweller'