To speak up about the cheaters at work?

[DillyDollyDandy]

Whilst on a 10 day trip abroad with 25 colleagues, I and everyone else watched as two people in our group flirted mercilessly with eachother quite blatantly, and ended up spending a night together and getting in with eachother. They both had partners waiting for them at home.

I ran into both partners yesterday morning, and sure as hell told them both about their cheating other-halfs. One couple has split up and I don't know about the other yet.

I'm now public enemy number one of my workplace because one of the cheaters is in my office, and he's much more popular than me, and I've been stigmatised as a 'meddler' and generally bitched about like mad. Only one person had the guts to confront me to my face - one of my exes, and also the cheating guy's best friend - and he said that it was none of my business and I've made a lot of people upset.

I'VE made a lot of people upset?? Surely the cheating is what made them upset, as opposed to the fact that the information came from me personally?? Everyone else who saw it happen was just going to turn a blind eye, and whilst I'm not particularly close to either of the cheated partners, I do know them, and seeing them just carry on obliviously seemed very wrong, and vaguely revolting to me, they have a right to know that their other half is a liar.

As for it not being my business - I saw it happen, the nature of 'it' being something I heavily disagree with, that's enough to make it 'my business'. They're not pissed off at me they're pissed off they got caught, and mad at themselves for not factoring into the equation that one
person may NOT be spineless enough to just cowardly say 'it's not my business' and look the other way.

But of course the pack mind has occured, majority vote wins, and it just shows up my colleagues for being the superficial, fake people that they are. I went to work and got loads of filthy looks, but not a word out of anyone. Deep down they KNOW I did the right thing. They just won't admit it 'cos then that makes them look bad for not doing something, when I did.

Although it's not pleasant being bitched about profusely, I don't regret it at all. I was the only person brave enough to do what's right despite the obvious consequences, when everyone else was gonna not say anything.

What do you think?

I agree with the OP actually.

If the OP is being hassled at work, then she should complain to her boss?

If their partners had been friends then I could see why you would tell them but just partners of work colleagues, no.

I do not think they have any right to victimise you for what you did though - and I think you should complain to your boss if they start making life difficult for you.

I once worked in an office with a bunch of fucking arseholes who back slapped each other when they got laid. One of them got back-slapped and cheered when he cheated on his wife the day after she gave birth. I didn't know her but I called him a cunt (and suffered the very serious consequences of it) in front of everyone and said if I was still working there at Christmas I would tell his wife at the Christmas party. I may, or may not have done but if I had known her personally then I would have contacted her.

Are you Gordon Brown and did Obama sleep with Berlusconi?

Must work in the Travel field, I use to have great weeks away for a gloryfied piss up..

If you knew their partners really well as friends and you knew that they'd want to know, fair enough.

If not then it is just meddling, despite the questionable morals of your colleagues.

op has already said it is a wind-up folks

I'm such a sucker

People behave shockingly badly every single day in every walk of life - if it doesn't affect you then it's fuck all to do with you.

However, for the record, I think the post is a load of made up bollocks.

Certainly questionable.

10 days away but has to work a Sat and/or Sun at the top of their field?

You had us going there, OP!

I think you were just testing our morals...

Was this meant to be amusing?

The sad thing is that there are officious twats like this who will meddle in stuff that is none of their business. BTW, (if the OP were real) unless you were actually hiding underneath the bed, you don't know that the people had sex anyway, which makes you even more morally wrong to run about screeching allegations.

I'm not entirely sure that the admission of this being a wind up was genuine, reads more to me like a flounce.

Doesn't change the fact that this sounds rather far fetched though!

-suspect this a wind up but on the off chance its for real.......you should have kept your trap very firmly shut. It was nothing at all to do with you. You have probably ruined the lives of the two couples involved-what gave you the right? .

DDD-you are a a*hole.

I thought at first you must work at a zoo !
Never heard of 'cheater' , but I know what you mean.
I think you should have kept your beak out.You have managed to ruin peoples lives now as well as your own.
(Think you are a troll actually)

If I was their partner I would want to know whether or not I has asked, so no, I don't think YABU.

For some reason everyone on MN disagrees with me though, so I would give up on this one if I was you.

Dittany - "Newspaper? Journalists are always shagging one another."

I can assure you that I have never shagged anyone apart from my husband in the 13 years we've been married

And if you saw the Motley crew of guys I work with you'd understand why!

And DDD - whether this is crap or not, it wasn't any of your business to tell on anyone, squealer.

Their adultery (cheating makes it sound like they were trying to get extra marks in a test) was none of your business. You just seemed to like stirring. Different if their spouses were good friends of yours. If they weren't then I don't blame your colleagues for not wanting to socialise with a tale teller.
Agree sounds unlikely anyone would really be this stupid at work, you have to work with your colleagues, not their partners after all.
Bumping into 2 colleagues' spouses on a sat and working on sun also sounds unlikely. I rarely see my colleagues spouses.

I loathe knowing about people's affairs. It's a horrible position to be in. Most of us squirm uncomfortably and look the other way. Meddling though, that's a bit hardcore, isn't it?

Interesting first post on MN, DDD. I assume you have broken up for the summer hols. Haven't you got any homework to do?

This sounds like a "Take A Break" dilemma.

This reminded me of a scene in "Rita, Sue & Bob Too" where the local busybody sees Bob & the girls out on a date.

Next morning we see her drive round to Bob's house to tell Bob's wife the gossip, and she breaks into a run as she's tottering up the path to ring the doorbell because she's SO looking forward to dishing the dirt. The actress does it brilliantly, it's one of my favourite movie moments.