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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

reeeeeeally trying not to judge

71 replies

HollyBunda · 10/07/2009 10:50

I am 7 months pregnant so admittedly I am pretty full of spite and bile.
This morning on the bus I found the last seat in the priority seat section. A mum was sitting across from me in another with her at least 4/5 year old in a buggy next to her.

A man got on the bus who obviously needed a seat. I noticed she put her head down and starting reading her CHAT magazine, so I got up and offered my seat to him.
I moved over to stand next to her buggy and then she OH! offered me her seat. OK fair enough, although I only think she did it to save face after she realized that a pregnant woman had better manners than she had.

But moving on, her son was sitting in his buggy with a PSP totally engrossed. Mother totally engrossed in her mag.
The little boy finished his game and put his PSP down a bit and I could see what he was playing - Grand Theft Auto.

really, I try not to make judgments on parents, I know it's bloody hard to bring up kids, I have two and one on the way.
But honestly, GTA! What on earth is wrong with this woman!

I can let the seat thing go, the fact he outgrew his buggy a year ago, even the crap magazine choice (although my SIL is the promotions mgr for that mag),
but how can I not sit in judgment over letting her little one play that game.

The mind boggles.

OP posts:

Tamarto · 10/07/2009 11:47

I'm sure you can get a lap dance in one of the GTAs what a thing to have our 4 year olds aspire too

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 11:48

she hasn't found any strip clubs yet... she's mainly obsessed with going to restaurants, buying new clothes and stealing boats and helicpters and fire engines

marenmj · 10/07/2009 12:02

lawd, DH makes GTA and I wouldn't let DD play it for at least a few years yet!

Yes, you can beat up hookers and steal things and get lap dances... you can also drive an ambulance saving people and play darts and lots of other rather benign things so I think you could definitely play WITH a young child and steer the open play that way...

but it doesn't sound like that's what this mother was doing, so I would probably sniffle a bit too.

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 12:14

exactly marenmj... we're in the room when dd plays it and if she heads too close to a strip club we head her towards the bowling ally, if she finds the gun we ring 911 for her and get a fire engine for her to drive around on spraying water and flashing the lights.

she can happily spend ages just riding on the subway, getting on and off trains.

(p.s..... you're dh makes GTA....... i thought all decent games programming happened in asia or the states? tis dp's dream job)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 10/07/2009 12:16

You should seriously try not to judge the child being in buggy or her reading a magazine.

DD is only 2.9 (but looks 4) and has outgrown her buggy, but has possible ASD and low muscle tone and so needs to use it. You couldnt tell just by looking that she needs it, but she does.

And I could see myself reading a magazine on the bus as she will not always interact with me so I'd just be sitting there.

The choice of game is poor though, yes. But you cant say the boy had no SN or that he would have spoken to his mother had she not been sitting reading a magazine. (which is not to your taste perhaps but who are you to dictate what she reads).

YABU mostly.

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 12:20

your too overcome with excitement to spell!

marenmj · 10/07/2009 12:21

PT, didn't you know? GTA is the pride n joy of Edinburgh

You're right about most game development being in the States (LA particularly - we moved from San Diego for this position) or in Asia. Although plenty of Asian games are (the pc rape game comes to mind...).

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 12:32

i just turned to dp and said 'wow, you'll never guess where GTA is made!'
dp 'UK somewhere isn't it?'
me, somewhat deflated 'edinburgh'

oh well... it was news to me

marenmj · 10/07/2009 12:45

LOL, easy mistake to make as the company is run in NYC.

Dh bought a Wii "for the baby" when I was 3 months pregnant, so exactly what and when gets played is something I've had a lot of time to think about

For anyone who is interested, there's a very good book on the issues surrounding children playing games called "Grand Theft Childhood." Surprisingly older kids are worried about their younger siblings playing 18 cert games not because of the violence but because of the "swears"

lljkk · 10/07/2009 13:05

It annoys me enormously when ppl judge 4-5 yos in buggies. Unless you have to push it, what the */&! does it have to do with you whether another parent finds a buggy useful? I don't know many adults who walk as fast or far as I do, I certainly don't expect many young children could, either. And scooters for under 5s are useless; just another heavy thing to have to carry around all day when they get bored & tired (usually about 400m after we left home).

GTA is different; judge away on that one . Clearly something not for under 18s.

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 13:13

i'm trying to convince dp we need a Wii for Zelda the kids

modrin · 10/07/2009 13:17

marenmj please please give my ds1(almost 18) a job with your dh it is his dream job...pretty please

sunfleurs · 10/07/2009 13:21

Well my dd is a tall 2 year old, everyone thinks she looks older. Today I took her out and she was screaming blue murder in the supermarket. I had to shop so I gave her a dummy. On the walk home I looked down and she had found two more from the depths of my handbag, which was hanging from the buggy and she often has a root around in it. So she had one in each hand as well as the one in her mouth while sat heftily in the buggy.

Would you have judged me? I just about sprinted home and met no-ones eyes on the way.

PinkTulips · 10/07/2009 13:22

oi... i was sucking up to her first! dp gets first dips in the unlikely event Rock Star put an emplyee's wife in charge of recruitment

modrin · 10/07/2009 13:26

lol PinkTulips sorry ...welivenearedinburgh......>>>runs away

marenmj · 10/07/2009 13:32

modrin, tell your DS that if he really wants to work in game development he needs good maths, honest! Dh is always on about quaternions and he is on the ART side of it, not even a programmer.

There's lots of studios and they are ALWAYS looking for good talent, so IMO it's a perfectly reasonable dream job, but your DS will need to have good maths and probably a degree in computer progamming if he wants to get in.

VinegarTits · 10/07/2009 13:39

I tried to get into games programming, he will definately need a degree in computers and good maths as marenmnj says, most of the games companies i applied for would'nt even consider cv's without some sort of computing degree

I wasn't very successful(probably because i'm not a teenage boy) and ended up doing boring commercial programming

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 10/07/2009 16:03

The local Uni runs a degree in games desigmn I think, very popular I believe

Dh was intending to head that way as a teen, but found his digital dream somewhere in the world of flashing lights and the like (doing a degree in satge lighting a la pop idol)

simplesusan · 10/07/2009 23:37

I have to say I was thinking "perhaps her child is big for his age and might only be 2/3 years old" .............until I read the bit about GTA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not only would I not allow a young child to see that but I personally would not allow such a young child to have a PSP.
But that is just my opinion.

btw at least he wasn't smoking a joint on the bus, now that would be inappropriate.

proverbial · 11/07/2009 00:09

WTF katiestar? The latest advice is that playing 18 rated games by toddlers is fine? And you are qualified in what exactly?

The latest, and frankly, bloody obvious advice is that small children (mainly boys) pretending to shoot drug dealers, matermind criminal gangs and hang out with hookers...is not the best way to spend their time. FFS

katiestar · 12/07/2009 21:48

and you think a yr old 'gets' what a hooker and a drug dealer is ? It just all goes over their head I would have thought

(and I thought I made it clear in my post i was talking about playing 'pretend guns' in school.

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