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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with swine-flued granny insisting on being visited on her birthday?

37 replies

BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 20:05

I mean ffs! Does quarantine not apply on birthdays then?

Dd1 sits next to a girl in class whose granny was diagnosed with the pig lurgy two days ago. Dd1 tells me her friend is being frogmarched round there tonight on granny's orders, and I can't believe how stupid some people are.

I'm taking the sort of immunosuppressant drugs that people have after transplants to stop you rejecting organs, and dd2 has a bowel disorder that means she has little natural resistance to anything, plus learning disabilities which mean she won't even accept calpol on a spoon, never mind bleedin tamiflu tablets or whatever she would need if she caught it...

AIBU to be pretty bloody cross and considering keeping dd1 off school even? But why should she miss the fun end of term stuff? Will buying her some of that germ-repellent handwash help, do you think? How am I supposed to keep her from getting infected?

Some people! Aaaaargh!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 09/07/2009 20:07

Do her parents know your circumstances? Seems rather strange if they do that they are intending to do this.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 20:09

I doubt it. I'm just hoping this is teenage girl hysteria and a load of bollocks (they are 13). I've never spoken to the girl's parents before, they don't know us. I really hope dd1 had got the wrong end of the stick.

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 09/07/2009 20:10

I think you are justified in asking the school to confirm this child has visited the sick granny and then keep yours off school.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 20:16

Do you reckon I should call school in the morning and ask them to find out then?

OP posts:
hercules1 · 09/07/2009 20:19

I very much doubt the school will tell you this sort of information.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 20:22

I suppose not- it also has the added drawback of making me look like a nutter

OP posts:
Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 20:24

Hey, I've just thought- what if the granny has read about mumsnet in the news and thinks she should have a swine flu birthday party? Eek!

OP posts:
BanjosFanjo · 09/07/2009 21:35

So what is the solution then?

MummyDragon · 09/07/2009 21:44

No, you're not a nutter, and YANBU. You and your DD have very specific health requirements which mean that being exposed to any sort of flu virus would be dangerous/especially difficult for you, more so than most other people.

Can you find out discreetly from other parents if the girl visited the granny, and then explain to the school why you're keeping your DD off?

Of course you're concerned for your health & DD's health - I would be too. When my mum was having chemo last year, she was on a general ward in hospital because there were no beds available in the isolation unit where her oncologist wanted her to stay, and whenever I saw someone else's visitors sneezing, coughing etc, I would politely ask them to stay away from my mum as she was immuno-suppressed, both from the cancer and from the chemo. Shame the medical staff couldn't have done this ... anyway, sharing this with you to show that I sympathise

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 21:49

Oh thank you for that - I was wondering if I was being silly. I know dd1 doesn't have to sit with her tomorrow because they are doing some different classes. Hopefully she is a sturdy thing herself, and won't succumb to it before I can find out if her friend has actually visited the granny. Perhaps I can then find out over the weekend and decide what to do about school next week.

Does anyone think it is unreasonable to ask for her to be seated away from this girl for the rest of next week?

OP posts:
Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:33

Come on guys, any more takers so I can work this out?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 09/07/2009 23:40

Not at all unreasonable. It's a really stupid thing to do. Granzilla I think.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:42

Lol at Granzilla! Indeed!

Even the GPs here are asking for people to just phone them for a consultation.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 09/07/2009 23:45

I don't think you can realistically expect everyone who sits next to your DD in classes to avoid all ill people all the time.

Can you get your DD to use some antibac handgel stuff before eating etc (and ideally before touching her face, rubbing her eyes, etc)?

Hopefully granny is a hypochondriac with a cold.

From the other girl's point of view: granny is an adult and should be able to cope with her birthday not being the centre of everyone's world.

TheLadyEvenstar · 09/07/2009 23:47

BitOf, one of the mums where ds1 goes to school works in another school which has to date 45 confirmed cases of pig flu...she carried on working and bringing her dc to school...the result???

26 confirmed cases of pig flu in ds1's school including families i.e ds1, myself and ds2 who is only 21m old.

this woman knew the risks but until the first 4 cases were confirmed in ds1's school she never said a fuc*g word!!!

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:49

Hmm, I think I will just ask dd1 to keep out of her way if possible for tomorrow, wash her hands (though I've left it too late to buy anti-bac stuff for the morning), and reassess it over the weekend I guess. I have got no immune system and no life insurance though, which is making me paranoid, and dd2 is a fragile flower I panic is not long for this world, so I do worry.

OP posts:
Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:50

Oh LadyEvenstar, how bloody stupid and selfish! I would be livid!

OP posts:
Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:52

Lordy, does that mean you can carry the virus without symptoms? < panics some more >

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 09/07/2009 23:53

The thing is, right now swine flu is not giving worse symptoms than any other flu (have I got that right?) so you're worrying over something that under more normal circumstances you just wouldn't be aware of. If granny had a throat infection or non-pig-related flu you just wouldn't hear about it and so wouldn't be worrying.

I know that doesn't help, sorry.

It is stupid to take a child to see someone with an infectious disease anyway, everyone knows that schools spread diseases like wildfire.

TheLadyEvenstar · 09/07/2009 23:56

BitOf, I am livid, ds1 is ok now and back to school monday YIPPEEE
I am getting there
But ds2 is still so little and it is hard to get him to take medicine, so what do the hospital do??? prescribe TAMIFLU CAPSULES for a 21m old.

I have to open them and drop the powder into honey or some other sweet liquid and get him to drink it do these people live with real babies????

TheLadyEvenstar · 09/07/2009 23:58

The only thing that makes it more serious is the fact that you vomit and also temperature is higher. yesterday mine was 104 today ds2's has been. but calpol has helped with his.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 23:58

It does help, actually. I don't want to get hysterical about this. That said, I haven't had flu for years, and the last throat infection I had fecked my health for over a year and led to my current problems. Not sure how much to worry really.

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 10/07/2009 00:00

BitOf, I don't know about where you live but where I live in London the gps are giving preventative medication to people with underlying health issues...my mum was given it as she (like me and ds1) is asthmatic.

Original poster
BitOfFun · 10/07/2009 00:01

The trouble with dd2 is she won't take any medication at all due to her autism, unless I can force it with an injection I suppose. Plus she can't fight stuff off well on her own due to her bowel flora being fecked up with her medical problems.

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 10/07/2009 00:03

BitOf does she like yoghurts? you can add the tamiflu to dessert topping, syrup, honey, chocolate sauce, yoghurt etc but only a teaspoon full so then there would be the rest of the yoghurt etc for her to eat....

I have enough difficulty with ds2.