to be p***ed off to come home to fimd my DS1 age 4 watching tv while my DP naps?

[pippylongstockings]

My DP had a lads night out on Friday - so I very kindly went to stay at my mums with our kids so he could have some friends to stay.( One friend was over from Australia and another had travelled several hours.)

I stayed at my mums Friday and Saturday night giving him plenty of 'man' time - I dropped kids back this am as I had to help my sister this morning.

I rang home at 2pm to see how everyone was - no reply.

I got home at 3pm to DS1 answering the door telling me to be quiet as Daddy and DS2 were having their naps!

DS1 is 4. He was set up watching tv. My DP said he wasn't really asleep he was just resting but I know that it's not true, as I rang an hour earlier and he didn't hear the phone and had no idea that I had rung. So he must have been asleep for over an hour.

I am really annoyed - DP thinks I am over re-acting! Am I ?

YANBU!
You gave your husband plenty of time to himself while taking good care of your children and you can't rely on him to do the same when you're not about.
I could have written this thread myself!

YANBU I would have been well pissed off.

But i have to be honest and say that if i was hung over and sleep deprived (hang overs are a thing of the past for me as i just couldn't handle a hang over and sleep deprivation and my kids are shit sleepers) then i may have done it myself, go to bed that is, but i would have made sure the 4 year old was well warned not to open door and would have made sure place was child safe if not already so.
AND i would definitely feel like shit if my dp caught me doing this and feel i had to make it up. I'm thinking some child free time and breakfast in bed would make me feel less pissed off

Men eh? they're all from the same planet tis true....

YABU that he was napping and letting your DS1 watch TV alone for an hour or so.

YABNU to be pissed off that he wasn't alert enough to wake up for your toddler.

And YA certainly NBU to be jealous at the amount of free time he's had.

As I say it's not the napping so much (even though that does annoy me a little as I had been up with our 2 year old for the last 2 nights as he keeps on having nightmares) It is the complete lack of awareness of what was happening in the house. Plus the fact he doesn't get why I am annoyed.

Well, I got my revenge as I made him sleep on the sofa last night instead!

YANBU...there isnt that much difference there from leaving a 4 year old alone IMO.

YANBU
You do not leave your child alone and go upstairs for a sleep.
It is so ridiculously dangerous to leave a child alone while you are asleep in another part of the house.
I know that some people have the opinion that it is ok because after all they go to sleep at night and leave the dc alone then. It is not the same thing. The children are safely sleeping at night. During the day they are wandering around alone.
I did doze off once on the sofa . DD was 14mo and ds was 4 weeks. I was sitting up holding him while he was sleeping and dd was -playing. The next thing I knew , dd was tapping my leg. She had drawn all over the carpet and herself with lipstick. Going by the tv programme that was on when I dozed off , I slept for 45 mins. I didn't mean to fall asleep. She had been in the bathroom to get the lipstick , anything could have happened to her.

YANBU. The TV is not a baby sitter and anything could have happened to your 4 year old if he had got in the kitchen, pulled open drawers, stuck fingers in plug sockets, tried climbing the bookcase.

Message withdrawn

YABU. Give the guy a break. Looking after a 4 yr old is exhausting. Nothing wrong with putting the tv on for a 4 yr old !

Oblomov & MissSunny, I am not saying there is anything wrong with putting the TV on for a 4 year old.

What I am saying which maybe wasn't clear in my OP is that my DP was asleep upstairs, he was so hung over he didn't hear the phone ring, he had no awareness of what was happening in the house at all - DS1 opened the front door to let me in, he could have opened the door and let himself out, DS2 could have been awake and crying and he would not have known.

That is what I find irresponsible and unreasonable.

Also give the guy a break ???!!!!?

He had just had from Friday morning to Sunday morning to himself at home/pub etc completely child-free!

That was his break!

YANBU.... have had the same situation with my Ex....MEN ....gggrrrhhh!
Its one thing having a lie down on the sofa with 4 yr old sitting next to you , but not good that he was upstairs and 'out cold'.....With a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old that is just not on. My son is now 8 yrs old and i might (if ever), go for a lie down if i felt really ill, but he is 8 1/2 and has more sense than a little child and he would come and get me if something was up.
WHY ARE MEN SOMETIMES SO BLOODY IRRESPONSIBLE.!??

YANBU.... have had the same situation with my Ex....MEN ....gggrrrhhh!
Its one thing having a lie down on the sofa with 4 yr old sitting next to you , but not good that he was upstairs and 'out cold'.....With a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old that is just not on. My son is now 8 yrs old and i might (if ever), go for a lie down if i felt really ill, but he is 8 1/2 and has more sense than a little child and he would come and get me if something was up.
WHY ARE MEN SOMETIMES SO BLOODY IRRESPONSIBLE.!??

Why do people only say part of the problem in the first op, wait for replys, then say, oh well so and so happened aswell.

YANBU. The lazy rotten boozy git.

I would be BESIDE myself with self righteous rage/envy

actually i think his break might have been getting to sleep on the sofa last night.

Well YANBU but only because he was in bedwhile i pressume DS1 was downstairs....

If he had been napping on the sofa in the same room as the kids then i think thats ok, i do it with my to after checking the house is secure but would never actually go to bed and leave them in a different room.

Knickersonmahead - I have only tried to clarify to others why I was so pee-d orf. Your right in as much as I clearly have not put enough detail in my OP. Sorry will rant with more detail in furture!

YANBU.

I've always occasionally napped in the same room as my dc as they've watched TV - no problem there as I'm easily accessible to them.

However, to go upstairs to go to sleep is not on. The fact that he opened the front door on his own is worrying (my ds, 4, is also able to open our door).

Your DH should be bloody grateful he had the weekend to himself and thus appreciate and make an effort with the time he then has with his kids.

god when i was pregnant i often went upstairs whle two yr old watxhes beebies for a nap

YABU to mind him having a nap whilst the DCs watch telly.

YANBU to be annoyed that DS1 could have got out of the front door by himself and your DP would have been none the wiser.

Wish my DCs would let me snooze whilst they watch a bumper episode of Dora.

yanbu. Leaving a child that age alone while you sleep upstairs is highly irresponsible and dangerous, and stupid.

yabu to be annoyed that your dc is watching tv (even though you say you didnt mind)

yanbu that your dh didnt know your child had opened the door - therefore out for the count/not really looking after your dc